1 definition by iamchavo
Scientific name: Trollus Vulgaris Ulularis
An obscure subspecies of common troll, this lesser known internet denizen and lurker was brought back into the mainstream's view during the campaigns/elections for POTUS 2016.
With its characteristic scent of fear and ignorance, the howler repeatedly attempts to shout its personal truths into everybody else's reality using mostly blunt force internet tactics, relying heavily on logically fallacious ambushes and what it believes to be shiny objects.
Fueled by delusion and derision, convoluted arguments are constructed/fabricated and secured to each other by a near infinite number of tenuous threads at randomized intersections, maintaining many points of continuity with the original discussion while completely fragmenting coherency. Appearing on forums as vehemently vigorous to suffering extreme torpor and all points in between, the howler becomes tick-like and difficult to shake off once it has determined that you are prey and has attached its victim(s). Its rationales are unknown; it is uncertain if a howler can actually reason for itself, as none has ever observably demonstrated a fully intact brain or usable mind.
Usually, standard troll management techniques apply. However, at the time of this writing some have escaped off the internet and into public office; meatspace procedures are in the process of evolving to accommodate the contingency.
An obscure subspecies of common troll, this lesser known internet denizen and lurker was brought back into the mainstream's view during the campaigns/elections for POTUS 2016.
With its characteristic scent of fear and ignorance, the howler repeatedly attempts to shout its personal truths into everybody else's reality using mostly blunt force internet tactics, relying heavily on logically fallacious ambushes and what it believes to be shiny objects.
Fueled by delusion and derision, convoluted arguments are constructed/fabricated and secured to each other by a near infinite number of tenuous threads at randomized intersections, maintaining many points of continuity with the original discussion while completely fragmenting coherency. Appearing on forums as vehemently vigorous to suffering extreme torpor and all points in between, the howler becomes tick-like and difficult to shake off once it has determined that you are prey and has attached its victim(s). Its rationales are unknown; it is uncertain if a howler can actually reason for itself, as none has ever observably demonstrated a fully intact brain or usable mind.
Usually, standard troll management techniques apply. However, at the time of this writing some have escaped off the internet and into public office; meatspace procedures are in the process of evolving to accommodate the contingency.
A post appears on a net neutrality forum...
Random dumbfuck: "I VETTED THEM AND THEY WERE ALL SATANISTS, SATAN DOES NOT GET INTERNET"
Everyone else, collectively rolling eyes and saying to themselves: "Fucking howlers."
Random dumbfuck: "I VETTED THEM AND THEY WERE ALL SATANISTS, SATAN DOES NOT GET INTERNET"
Everyone else, collectively rolling eyes and saying to themselves: "Fucking howlers."
by iamchavo January 22, 2017