11 definitions by hello world champion
SPECIES - Redtards are a group of carnivorous homo sapiens in the genus Mullet family. They reside in the southern USA, are highly territorial, prefer open grassland, high fructose corn syrup and have an inverted mathematical relationship between their years of education and the number of offspring they bear.
CULTURE - Redtards subscribe to the notions: the repetition of unsupportable concepts inherently transforms them into fact and “if Jesus said it, da-gummit, dats bowt good 'nuf fer us”. Redtards tend to hide from the light in FoxNews holes and can be identified roaming the woodlands chanting arcane war cries of "drill baby drill" as a solution to the global energy crisis and believe that the recent frost in their hayfield invalidates the irrefutable science of global warming.
MARKINGS - The markings of this species are the absence of teeth, barb wire tattoos or the billowing of red/white/blue fabric planted in front of their trailer dwellings. Borderline Redtards can validate their inclusion if they have more than one Jeff Foxworthy box set, and can deadeye three of five tin cans with standard gauge buck shot from a distance of four Camaros or more.
MATINGS - Redtards tend to mate within two degrees of their immediate genealogy, preferring to do so in four-wheel drive vehicles with mounted weaponry. This species, long believed to be headed toward extinction, is instead propagating at an unprecedented pace and thereby poses an immediate threat to the universe.
CULTURE - Redtards subscribe to the notions: the repetition of unsupportable concepts inherently transforms them into fact and “if Jesus said it, da-gummit, dats bowt good 'nuf fer us”. Redtards tend to hide from the light in FoxNews holes and can be identified roaming the woodlands chanting arcane war cries of "drill baby drill" as a solution to the global energy crisis and believe that the recent frost in their hayfield invalidates the irrefutable science of global warming.
MARKINGS - The markings of this species are the absence of teeth, barb wire tattoos or the billowing of red/white/blue fabric planted in front of their trailer dwellings. Borderline Redtards can validate their inclusion if they have more than one Jeff Foxworthy box set, and can deadeye three of five tin cans with standard gauge buck shot from a distance of four Camaros or more.
MATINGS - Redtards tend to mate within two degrees of their immediate genealogy, preferring to do so in four-wheel drive vehicles with mounted weaponry. This species, long believed to be headed toward extinction, is instead propagating at an unprecedented pace and thereby poses an immediate threat to the universe.
Glen Beck is such a redtard! He said that the recent snow in his front yard must be "global cooling" because global warming is a scam.
by hello world champion February 11, 2010
A term reserved for one of those "very special" people whom you consider to be such an immense waste of fucking time that every single remaining breath they take in their pathetic life is an unnecessary debit from the world's remaining oxygen supply.
OMG, so you remember that bimbo Nola? Why would you? Well anyway, so she was at "the" Hollywood party last night... droning on and on about how *this* celebrity was wearing a who the fuck cares dress and how *that* celebrity was now fatter than, yah, nobody cares about that either, bitch. What an oxygen abuser!
by hello world champion June 1, 2016
OMG so my boo just send me the grossest emotisode of a shart. It was a finger with the OK sign, followed by a fart cloud followed by a poo emoji. Ewwww!
by hello world champion April 25, 2015
A combination of sniffing, snorting, and truffling. Often used in regard to various body orifices, particularly ones below the belt.
Can also be done in a bed under the blanket or in the dark with loud grunting sounds.
Can also be done in a bed under the blanket or in the dark with loud grunting sounds.
Zooooomagawd, we came home drunk from the bar, and this guy was like totally snorfling my vadge. I had to smack him unconscious.
by hello world champion April 7, 2011