h.s. willsy's definitions

Depraviar

When semen is used for any purpose other than impregnating your lovely wife, it is more correctly known as depraviar

A combination of depravity and caviar (man seed)

"Leave it in honey, maybe we can make a baby?"

"Fuck that!"

"Jeez! You got it in my eye! Fuck, now it's just depraviar."

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Funky Trap

A form of preversion. Involves inviting a group of foot fetishistists to a house in which shoes must be removed to gain entry. They'll all come assuming that they can sneak away at some point to have an illicit sniff of the shoes left by the door. However, what actually happens is you steal the shoes while they are in the other room and take them away for a horrible sniffing.

"Shoes?!? Where are the goddamn shoes?"

"You after the shoes too?"

"I was after the shoes, was everybody after the shoes?"

"Fuck! It's a funky trap!"

See preversions and prevert

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Drunk Reset

A vomit that restores you to an earlier save point of soberness

"I don't feel too bad now but I don't remember anything between here and the club."

"Yeah, you hit the drunk reset on the way back."

"Oh, that's good."

"Not really dude, you were french kissing your girlfriend's brother when it happened."

"Yish, not again."

by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011

Kurt Cobrained

When someone gets wasted to the point that there brains are literally no longer in their skull, they are Kurt Cobrained.

"Ah, fuck! This kid on the sofa's Kurt Cobrained man!"

"What?"

"His brains are all external to his skull and shit!"

"Ahhh! Fuck! Put a lamp shade over his head or something!"

"Ahhh! Okay, there we go. Now what?"

"Now we warm these Pot Noodles up."

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

Stravaig

Old Scottish, Northern English and Irish word.

Means to wander about aimlessly

"Yish, looking at that stravaiging bag head over there."

"How about I stravaig over there and rub my open wound on you?"

"Easy stravaiger, there's no need to get shirty, I was just making a comment on the aimlessness your existence."

"Tis true I suppose. Any chance of some money?"

"You give oral sex?"

"Certainly sir."

"Buzzing cha, buzzing."

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

Shitemare

1) To find oneself in a public toilet that is lacking a door lock, a toilet seat or a loo roll

2) Any situation in which poo becomes a visible nuisance

1) "Aww man. there's no toilet paper up in this smelly joint. What a shitemare."

"I've got paper for you buddy, in return for a little something something that is."

"Ted? Is that you?"

"It was always me Bill, it was always me."

2) The Indian Commonwealth Games

by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011

One Eyed Bandit

A type of live action gambling that can be undertaken in Thailand. First of all the gambler must select three Thai hookers and take them back to his room. The gambler then asks them to reveal their genitals, one by one. Like with a one armed bandit (English word for slot machine), the way to win is to get three cherries in a row. Any less than three cherries and you're BUST

"I wish they had some one armed bandit machines out here."

"We could just play one eyed bandit?"

"Hmm, yeah. Or Thai roulette maybe?"

"Either or man, I just need to unload quickly before my balls get any heavier. I feel like I'm lugging around a couple of coconuts in a 50g peanut bag."

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011