Definitions by h.s. willsy
Insane Stunt Bonus Award Committee
The panel of judges that attach a monetary reward to insane stunts performed by reckless vehicleists. Points are rewarded for:
height, length, helicopters taken down, hoes annihilated, hoes impregnated, pimps flattened, homages to Scarface made, police evaded, FBI humiliated, single file rows of, "Gouranga," shouting Hare Krishnas ploughed down, cars exploded, tanks exploded, rescue services exploded and pedestrians splattered.
The committee is currently comprised of Pope Ratzenberger, Kermit the Frog, Tinky Winky, Jerry Bruckheimer and Ringo Starr
height, length, helicopters taken down, hoes annihilated, hoes impregnated, pimps flattened, homages to Scarface made, police evaded, FBI humiliated, single file rows of, "Gouranga," shouting Hare Krishnas ploughed down, cars exploded, tanks exploded, rescue services exploded and pedestrians splattered.
The committee is currently comprised of Pope Ratzenberger, Kermit the Frog, Tinky Winky, Jerry Bruckheimer and Ringo Starr
"I came off my motorbike the other day and totally splodged a load of old ladies and the Insane Stunt Bonus Award Committee gave me £300!"
"Nice. I only got £30 last week when I accidentally reversed over that penguin."
"You probably wouldn't have got anything if it hadn't have been so endangered."
"Flightless birds are dumb."
"Nice. I only got £30 last week when I accidentally reversed over that penguin."
"You probably wouldn't have got anything if it hadn't have been so endangered."
"Flightless birds are dumb."
Insane Stunt Bonus Award Committee by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
Action Satchel
An alternative name for man-bags that was invented to make insecure men feel less effeminate about owning what is essentially a handbag.
Clutching his action satchel, Timmy barged through the closed wooden doors and out into the storm.
"I'll show those lousy lumberjacks who's a real man," he shrieked, stomping his foot against the floor like some sort of wet sissy grasshopper. "I'LL SHOW EM, I'LL SHOW EM, I'LL SHOW EM!!!"
"I'll show those lousy lumberjacks who's a real man," he shrieked, stomping his foot against the floor like some sort of wet sissy grasshopper. "I'LL SHOW EM, I'LL SHOW EM, I'LL SHOW EM!!!"
Action Satchel by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
Fettlers
A Prestonian word for old men who exist as soon as the pubs are open. They're usually identifiable by their brown, slouched appearance and the musk of cheap tobacco and piss. They may surround themselves with a ring of empty pint glasses as if they were under siege from reality.
"Those fettlers are dying out."
"Yeah?"
"There’s not any less of them, dying out is just their style."
"Yeah?"
"There’s not any less of them, dying out is just their style."
Fettlers by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
Triple Lindy
A sexual position that requires the strength of Superman and the dexterity of Spiderman (and, if you like it kinky, Batman's mask and rubber nipples).
If you're looking at it from the side it looks like the woman is flying. Except she's not flying, she's being held up from underneath by the guys hands and from her spladge by the guys penis. So the guy, standing up with his knees bent, has to hold her up without breaking his back and she has to keep her body in line with his penis without breaking hers. How they manage to do that and still thrust is amazing and probably involves fitness.
If you're looking at it from the side it looks like the woman is flying. Except she's not flying, she's being held up from underneath by the guys hands and from her spladge by the guys penis. So the guy, standing up with his knees bent, has to hold her up without breaking his back and she has to keep her body in line with his penis without breaking hers. How they manage to do that and still thrust is amazing and probably involves fitness.
"How did they die?"
"Triple lindy spine-snapping mishap."
"Fair play."
"That's why the coffins are L-shaped."
"Triple lindy spine-snapping mishap."
"Fair play."
"That's why the coffins are L-shaped."
Triple Lindy by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
Depraviar
When semen is used for any purpose other than impregnating your lovely wife, it is more correctly known as depraviar
A combination of depravity and caviar (man seed)
A combination of depravity and caviar (man seed)
"Leave it in honey, maybe we can make a baby?"
"Fuck that!"
"Jeez! You got it in my eye! Fuck, now it's just depraviar."
"Fuck that!"
"Jeez! You got it in my eye! Fuck, now it's just depraviar."
Depraviar by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
Quack Echo
When a person who has just recieved pay-off anal sex goes into the bathroom afterwards to freshen up, the noise that they produce as they sit down on the toilet and fart out depraviar is known as a quack echo.
"Whoa! You just hear that quack echo? Leanne must have got lucky!"
"Err, no, i'm in here," shouts Leanne from the kitchen.
"Fuck! It must have been Albert then! That sly old dog."
"Oh yeah, he loves it. And i've got a silencer anyway," explains Leanne, "so you wouldn't hear a quack echo of that magnitude from me."
"A silencer eh? I just do mine in the shower to drown out the noise."
"Classy."
"Oh yeah. Very."
"Err, no, i'm in here," shouts Leanne from the kitchen.
"Fuck! It must have been Albert then! That sly old dog."
"Oh yeah, he loves it. And i've got a silencer anyway," explains Leanne, "so you wouldn't hear a quack echo of that magnitude from me."
"A silencer eh? I just do mine in the shower to drown out the noise."
"Classy."
"Oh yeah. Very."
Quack Echo by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
Shitemare
1) To find oneself in a public toilet that is lacking a door lock, a toilet seat or a loo roll
2) Any situation in which poo becomes a visible nuisance
2) Any situation in which poo becomes a visible nuisance
1) "Aww man. there's no toilet paper up in this smelly joint. What a shitemare."
"I've got paper for you buddy, in return for a little something something that is."
"Ted? Is that you?"
"It was always me Bill, it was always me."
2) The Indian Commonwealth Games
"I've got paper for you buddy, in return for a little something something that is."
"Ted? Is that you?"
"It was always me Bill, it was always me."
2) The Indian Commonwealth Games
Shitemare by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011