gnostic1's definitions

hack

n. two or three holes "hacked" into the ice at each end of an ice curling rink to give the sweepers somewhere to rest their brooms. Also:

v. what smokers do while curling, which is one of the few Olympic sports where smoking is allowed during the game.

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Throw some end-raise take-out weight and I'll sweep from the hack!

Hurry hard!

by gnostic1 October 3, 2011

busty-blausen

n. well-endowed woman generally found serving Bavarian beer in amusingly ornate steins at Oktoberfests.
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Ve should go to Eckville and check out the busty-blausen mit de shirten-low and the lowen-brau.

Nein! I am allergen to oomp-pa-pa accordion music.

by gnostic1 July 23, 2011

Krinkle Creek

place. Burbling waterfall-side town in the lesser gravel bar region of Alberta. Settled by Norwegian rock collectors during the bevelled agate phase of the Western Canada gem rush.

Reliant on eco-tourism since its days as a haven for draft dodgers in the sixties, Krinkle Creek enjoys a reputation as a great place to escape from the drudgery of modern life. Visitors are guaranteed a lack of even the simplest of modern conveniences or courtesies.

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How about a walk up to Krinkle Creek to see the waterfall?

Are you mad?

by gnostic1 July 1, 2012

dust monkey

n. Originally a trainee in an asbestos mine who cleared the fine carcinogenic fibres off the tram lines but now any lowly employee who is tasked with any unpleasant, dangerous or tedious job.

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1) Get a team of dust monkeys into the kitchen right away. The McFryer is making that funny sound and I think she's going to blow!

2) Where's me new dust monkey? A gale be blowing up astern and the mizzen mast be luffing.

by gnostic1 October 12, 2011

Eudlo

place. Hamlet in Australia reknowned for its drover-fueled wallaby husbandry activity and gravel piles strategically placed to block the views of the lamers sand-surfing. The abscence of any competitive sports teams makes it a codger's paradise.

Often compared unfavourably to Riker's Island by the Greater Brisbane Tourist Council, Eudlo is fast becoming a go-to destination for NASA and other groups looking to test vehicles on inhospitable ground.

"Beautiful plumage!" and other catch-phrases are often heard at the Eudlo and District Monty Python Festival every spring.

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G'Day mate! Fancy a stride down Eudlo way tonight? We could toss some Fosters into the chunder wagon and melon a kangy. My esopho's drier than a gecko's armpit.

Struth! My shiela will do me an injury if we rattle the woomerra again!

Crickey-split!

by gnostic1 December 27, 2011

misstranslation

n. The politically incorrect result of translating technical or mathematical terminology into something women can understand. A misstranslation is usually devoid of numbers and greek letters and may deal with how force vectors "feel" about each other. Use of the term around women is usually followed by a good purse-smacking.

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So why are pie squared? I don't get it.

Sorry, I didn't see your breasts. Let me give you the misstranslation. Pretend you have a large round blanket and four babies that need to be covered.

Ohhh. Babies! What are their names?

by gnostic1 August 31, 2012

katering

v. 1) employing ones wiles to rise to the top.

2) upper crust British catering, usually inedible.

1) Lemarette is the new shift manager! I thought I was good at katering but that fluffer must be masterful.

2) Two Earls died of explosive diarrhoea in the Royal enclosure at Ascot last week.

Only two? Sounds like the katering has finally improved.

by gnostic1 May 23, 2011