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david lincoln brooks's definitions

stove up

Swollen and badly bruised. Phrase primarily in rural, folk or country use in the USA. Often used to refer to an eye that is so swollen and black (usually due to a fist punch), it appears closed over.
On COPS, they showed a woman who'd been beaten up by her boyfriend; her face was all stove up.
by david lincoln brooks October 25, 2007
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'splainin' to do

A direct allusion to the 1950's American sitcom, I LOVE LUCY. In the show, the American protagonist (Lucille Ball) has a husband (Desi Arnaz) who is Cuban-born, and who occasionally makes some unintentionally humorous gaffes with English. One of these is his curious pronunciation of the word "explaining", which he always pronounces "'splainin'".
A frequent theme on the show was his discovering an entangled deception of his wife's, whereupon he'd intone sternly to her: "Lucy, I think you've got some 'splainin' to do."

Today people use the phrase both as a fond allusion to a cherished TV show, but as a way to imply that another person is at fault with something and needs to come clean.
Example 1. When the rock group successfully showed that their record company had not promoted their poorly-selling album sufficiently, the suits at the company had some serious 'spainin' to do.

Example 2. My Rolex, my computer and my car are all gone... and you've got a bad heroin problem? I'd say you have some 'splainin' to do!
by david lincoln brooks August 5, 2008
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gateway fragrance

Taken from the world of commercial perfume sales, a gateway fragrance is a perfume or cologne which is inexpensive and often cheap-smelling, which serves to introduce a novice fragrance wearer to the wider world of fine-- and more expensive-- fragrances. The idea is that the "gateway fragrance" will intrigue the wearer into purchasing a more sophisticated, expensive fragrance the next time they shop.
"I bought my teenage sister some Britney Spears CURIOUS for her birthday... Someday she may wear CHANEL No.5, but this will be a good gateway fragrance for her."

"Sure, JEAN NATÉ is inexpensive. But it smells good, and it's a great gateway fragrance."
by david lincoln brooks November 30, 2006
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Take the Mickey out of

This phrase is not new; the full phrase is "to take the Mickey (out of someone)"
Britons have been using this figure of speech for decades, if not centuries. A "Mickey" of course, is a "Mick": a pejorative, racist term for an Irishman (so nicknamed because so many Irish surnames begin with Mc- or Mac-) It is a common stereotype, in both the UK and USA, that Irish men have volatile tempers, like to brawl, and make good boxers. So, To "take the Mickey (out of someone)" means to take the fight, the vigor, the gravity, the self-importance out of them, by mocking them, usually in a very subtle way.
Headmaster: "...so I expect you boys to comport yourself with the full dignity befitting students of this establishment of secondary learning."

Student: "Oh yes, we will sir. We'll even wear our school blazers to bed."

Headmaster: "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to take the Mickey out of me!"
by david lincoln brooks September 28, 2006
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gawdawful

(adjective) Extremely bad, displeasing or offensive to one or more of the senses. Not only bad, but singularly bad to the point where it is estimated to be the very worst of its kind.
The crime scene was a gawdawful spectacle he'll never forget.

My housemaid has no sense of smell... which is good, because she is spared the gawdawful odors that my house sometimes harbors.

Melvin Van Peebles's SWEET SWEETBACK'S BAADAAASSS SONG is a gawdawful mishmash of ideas and tones.

John's first attempt at preparing Indian food simply yielded a gawdawful mess that he ended up feeding to the dog.
by david lincoln brooks July 24, 2010
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doos

(South African vulgar English slang. Derived from Afrikaans. Literally means "box", slang term for a vagina. Extremely pejorative.)

(Pronounced to rhyme with the English words "do us")

A very stupid, obstreporous, despicable, disagreeable person, often a male. An "asshole" or "dickhead".
Example 1: "Ag, that ouk is a real doos, ek se."

Translation: "Man, that guy is a real asshole, I'm telling you."

Example 2: "Listen, stop being such a doos."

Translation: "Listen, stop being such a foolish idiot."
by david lincoln brooks November 19, 2010
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shit-assed

(Chiefly Southern U.S.) Deliberately obstreporous, stubborn, defiant, mean-spirited or difficult, often in a disagreeably passive-aggressive fashion.
A. Amy Winehouse comes to the mic with a real shit-assed attitude that may have cost her some popularity with American audiences.

or:

B. Okay! Okay! We'll do it your way! But you don't have to be so shit-assed about it!
by david lincoln brooks June 4, 2008
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