cirdellin's definitions

Self inflicted complaint blockage

The reluctance to report a serious work issue for fear that those reading or hearing the complaint will view the issue as petty. The complainant fears that he or she will be viewed forevermore as a sniveling weasel. The result is that the issue will remain unresolved until it takes on another unrelated dimension that is extremely damaging to the workplace. At this point, another worker will report the original complaint and will be given full credit for saving the company.

Worker 1: "I think that we have to let people in HR know what Stacey and Ed have been up to. She's getting away with murder. She's using him, he's letting her and both of them are married anyway."

Worker 2: "There's no way I'm going to bring up favoritism and their adolescent extramarital dalliances to HR."

Worker 1: "Self inflicted complaint blockage?"

Worker 2: "You got it."

by Cirdellin January 15, 2010

Master lesbianator

The older woman in some pornographic movies who orchestrates lesbian sex between two or more much younger women. Generally one or more of these younger women insist that they are straight. It is the master lesbianator's job to at first scold, then cajole, then direct the younger women in their lovemaking techniques. These women learn very quickly under her more mature tutelage. It is customary for the master lesbianator to sensitively praise the often formerly straight women after completion.

"Hey what's this old broad doing in this lesbian scene?"

"She's the master lesbianator. The other girls wouldn't know what to do without her."

"You're kidding me right?"

"I wish. The director is trying to be artsy."

by Cirdellin January 6, 2010

Validation by proxy

To feel better about oneself by viewing oneself not as an individual but as part of a larger group. In this state, one need not accomplish anything oneself but can take great pride in the accomplishments of others as though they are personal accomplishments because the group is viewed a personal extension.

'Yea we won!"

"No the Steelers won. You just watched the game on TV."

"Same thing."

"No It's not, it's your validation by proxy."

by Cirdellin January 17, 2010

Reltermrat

A trendy new concision for the pathological condition known as "Relationship Termination Rationalization". This device is used by the monogamously adverse to psychologically justify breaking up with someone without having any genuinely compelling reason for doing so.

"Why'd you break up with Jill?"

"She was way too Jedi for me."

"What the Hell does THAT even Mean? I think you're just a reltermrat"

"Shut up."

"Can I ask her out then?"

"Absolutely not!"

by Cirdellin December 28, 2009

Passenger assessment

The tendency, especially while waiting for a plane, to scan one's fellow passengers for signs of violent intention. This tends to increase after an airline incident or near incident.

Jake surreptitiously looked up and down the many aisles of chairs as he waited for his plane to arrive at the gate. Passenger assessment is an essential part of flying these days. he rationalized.

by Cirdellin December 31, 2009

Fergie Pudding

A sweet Christmas concoction that has essentially the same recipe as figgy pudding but replaces the figs with black eyed peas.

"Hey Stacy Ann Ferguson (Fergie's full name), put out more of that Fergie pudding!"

"Hey I don't put out for anybody."

"OK, sorry only it is so sweet and delicious...please?"

"That's better."

by Cirdellin December 28, 2009

Jane Krakowski Effect

Named after the Ally McBeal series actress, this is a condition in which men literally stop in their tracks when looking at a woman that is completely physically stunning and flawless. It is sometimes marked by the loss of peripheral consciousness for hours or days as the male stares transfixed, feeling no pain nor hunger nor any sense of responsibility to attend to necessary matters. In war, the use of Ms Krakowski directly, via her surrogates, or her images to immobilize the enemy is expressly forbidden under any and all of the Geneva Convention agreements.

"Whoa Jake...You zoned out dude. One minute you were fine and the next you were comatose. Was it that blonde in the blue miniskirt?"

(Still in something of a stupor) "Yeah. I think so."

"Jane Krakowski Effect huh?"

(Beside himself now) "Is she here? The real one? Where?" (Jake fades out again lost in a mental image)

"Oh the blessing and curse of having the angel Jane Krakowski and her ilk living amongst us." (Jake's friend laments)

by Cirdellin December 29, 2009