Skip to main content

Definitions by brett burkhardt

Clay Pit 

Someone who really needs to clean out before anal but doesn’t.
“Dude, I was so psyched when that chick from the bar said she wanted to do anal but she was a total clay pit and now I need to buy some new sheets.”

Everyone knew that Brent was a clay pit, that’s why they never wanted to fuck him.
Clay Pit by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Shinanigans 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your party but I was swamped at work.’
“Shinanigans! I saw those pics you posted on facebook showing you at the titty bar with your friends, asshole!”

“I called shinanigans on that plumber when he told me it was going to cost $780 to order a new lid for the toilet tank. Does he think I’m retarded because I’m a woman or something?”
Shinanigans by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Douche Dispute 

When someone disputes a purchase or service for some stupid reason.
That guy had a real douche dispute. He called in to demand free pizza because there were only 30 pieces of pepperoni on his pizza.

“I want to have all my money back from this flight, it was delayed by 45 minutes.”
“Ma’am, we were in the middle of a blizzard, you’re lucky your flight was even able to leave. If you want to continue with this douche dispute, I will be forced to disconnect this call.”

Ratty Cathy 

Someone who accidentally rats out someone during their usual stupid rambling conversations.
“...and then we were all at the bar, and Misty looked hot in that dress and everyone was looking at her. Then Laura blew a guy in the men’s room but, oh my god, this guy bought us all shots and then..”
“Wait, so Laura cheated on her boyfriend.”
“Oops, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone” mumbled the Ratty Cathy.

No one ever told Clayton anything because he turned into a ratty Cathy after just one drink.
Ratty Cathy by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Pregnancy Prevention Patrol  

Someone who has to supervise at a camp or hotel to make sure that none of the high school students at an event sneak in and out of rooms to have sex. Also known as PPP.
With the cheerleading camp sandwiched between the football camp and soccer camp, Joel knew he’d be on pregnancy prevention patrol until his replacement came at dawn.

Mrs. Rivera was an expert at pregnancy prevention patrol. It’s like she could hear a hotel room door opening from two floors away and that’s why they always had her go on the band trips.
An insult that doesn’t sink in for awhile.
When Jasmine figured out that slow burn comment from the girl at the bar, she was so pissed.

He’s an idiot, you can say any sort of shit to his face and it’ll be a slow burn. He won’t figure it out for days.
Slow Burn by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Word of the Day on December 11, 2008

Speaker Phony 

Someone who uses a speaker phone to feel like they’re important or doing some sort of important business even thought it’s for something stupid.
Mike hated talking to speaker phony customers. He couldn’t hear half the shit they said and, because they were only ordering pizza, he thought they could just pick up the phone instead of trying to shout at it from half way across the room.

“That guy was such a speaker phony. He called in to talk about his late fee and was 'too busy' to use the regular phone because he was playing x-box 360.”
Speaker Phony by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Word of the Day on April 13, 2012