Gilded Turd

To spend money to "improve" or "pimp out" a worthless item such as a crappy car, dump of a house, or other such item. Usually done by spending more to upgrade an item than was paid for it but still not actually increasing the value of the item with these upgrades.
After Sam spent $1900 to pimp out his $300 rusted out, beat up, 1982 Celebrity all he got for his trouble was a gilded turd and credit card debt.

"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
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Party Prowler

That perv who hangs around parties waiting to make advances on people who are too drunk to defend themselves. Or steal a purse or just take a really nice jacket.
When Karen saw that Mark, the Party Prowler from her dorm, was at the Tri-Delt party she made sure to hold onto her purse and keep an eye on her friends.

That guy across the hall is a total party prowler and that's why we don't host house parties anymore.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Shinanigans

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your party but I was swamped at work.’
“Shinanigans! I saw those pics you posted on facebook showing you at the titty bar with your friends, asshole!”

“I called shinanigans on that plumber when he told me it was going to cost $780 to order a new lid for the toilet tank. Does he think I’m retarded because I’m a woman or something?”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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QVC Crack Head

A person who spends all their money ordering shit on QVC and then returning it.
I was horrified when I saw that aunt Mary spent over a thousand dollars a month on crap from QVC but when she told me she returned all but $20 worth of stuff I knew she was a real QVC crack head.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Name Nabber

A customer who demands on getting your name even though you’ve already told them and you’re wearing a name tag because they want to bitch about shit that never happened or things that they imagined.
Mr. Gonzalez was a major name nabber. He’ll write that shit down and then bitch about you to a manager 3 weeks later for some made up bullshit.

Sheila knew the customer was a name nabber so she told him that her name was Sharon.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Gym Widow

Someone who’s significant other has gone on a serious health kick and spends all their time working out.
Rich was happy that his wife was interested in getting the baby weight off but the fact that she spent 20 hours a week at the gym left him a gym widower.

Sara loved buff men but hated being a gym widow all the time.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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