bill cauliflower's definitions
(1) The feeling you get when you have tried to phone a company that has its only contact as a '13' number, and you are on hold for 45 minutes and still can't talk to a real person (or if you do, it is a person in a remote call-centre, whose accent you struggle to understand). And you hang up - effectively giving up.
(2) The feeling you get when you have tried to phone a company that has its only contact as a '13' number, and you are on hold for 30 minutes and you basically give up.
(3) The emotion that washes over you when you realise that you have to call a government agency on a '13' number again to explain stuff that you've already explained, and you realise that you will have to be 'on hold' for a minimum 45 minutes to explain to a different person what you've already told them.
(2) The feeling you get when you have tried to phone a company that has its only contact as a '13' number, and you are on hold for 30 minutes and you basically give up.
(3) The emotion that washes over you when you realise that you have to call a government agency on a '13' number again to explain stuff that you've already explained, and you realise that you will have to be 'on hold' for a minimum 45 minutes to explain to a different person what you've already told them.
Angi: "I had to call insert company name here on their 13 number again today to see if they knew what was happening with my order, and could they help me. After being on hold for 30 minutes, I hung up."
Bill: "I thought that was all sorted, what happened?"
Angi: "I got one-three fatigue. I just couldn't do it."
Bill: "I thought that was all sorted, what happened?"
Angi: "I got one-three fatigue. I just couldn't do it."
by bill cauliflower September 6, 2020
Get the one-three fatigue mug.Mapographic (n)
A map covering areas such as regions, states, countries, or even the entire world that conveys - using only graphics and minimal text - quite complex data in a very simple and understandable way.
It is essentially an 'infographic', but it is in the form of a map, showing the 'where' as well at the 'what'.
A map covering areas such as regions, states, countries, or even the entire world that conveys - using only graphics and minimal text - quite complex data in a very simple and understandable way.
It is essentially an 'infographic', but it is in the form of a map, showing the 'where' as well at the 'what'.
Manager: "Hey Bill, can we show all of the projects we're doing all over the country and all the outputs from each of them on one map...?"
Bill: "Yep, I can do that, and I can put it into a really great Mapographic, which will show everything, everywhere, all at once, and make it simple so everyone can understand..."
Manager: "Yes, that's what we want. Let's do that. That sounds awesome...!"
Bill: "Yep, I can do that, and I can put it into a really great Mapographic, which will show everything, everywhere, all at once, and make it simple so everyone can understand..."
Manager: "Yes, that's what we want. Let's do that. That sounds awesome...!"
by bill cauliflower November 12, 2023
Get the mapographic mug.A person who - either due to their naturally-pessimistic personality or by temporary difficult circumstances - is gloomy and miserable, and finds it hard to see the positive side of anything.
"Hey Bill, you seem pretty down, what's going on?"
"Sorry, I'm a bit of a glumdudgeon at the moment. Lost my job, and then my girlfriend, and it looks like I now need to find another place to live, so everything's totally crappy, really..."
"Awww. Sorry to hear that."
"Mmmmm, thanks. Hey, now that I don't have a girlfriend, do you want to catch up for a drink sometime...?"
"Not til you're well and truly out of that glumdudgeon mode, boyo..."
"Sorry, I'm a bit of a glumdudgeon at the moment. Lost my job, and then my girlfriend, and it looks like I now need to find another place to live, so everything's totally crappy, really..."
"Awww. Sorry to hear that."
"Mmmmm, thanks. Hey, now that I don't have a girlfriend, do you want to catch up for a drink sometime...?"
"Not til you're well and truly out of that glumdudgeon mode, boyo..."
by bill cauliflower January 25, 2024
Get the Glumdudgeon mug.Refers to either (1) the insanely-early hour in the morning that you have to wake up, or (2) the really, really late hour you stayed up
Dave: "Hey Bill, how's the new job going?"
Me: "Oh my god, I have to get up at ridiculo'clock to catch the early train just to get there by 7. It's killing me...!"
Maria: "You look tired."
Me: "Yeah, I was gonna go to bed early, but ended up binge-watching the new series of 'Hazelton' till ridiculo'clock.
Me: "Oh my god, I have to get up at ridiculo'clock to catch the early train just to get there by 7. It's killing me...!"
Maria: "You look tired."
Me: "Yeah, I was gonna go to bed early, but ended up binge-watching the new series of 'Hazelton' till ridiculo'clock.
by bill cauliflower September 21, 2023
Get the ridiculo'clock mug.Inductrination (n.)
Starting a new job, you're required to attend a one-day 'induction' into the company, and it ends up being an exercise in brain-washing new recruits and indoctrinating them into believing that they are now working for the most awesome business in the universe.
Starting a new job, you're required to attend a one-day 'induction' into the company, and it ends up being an exercise in brain-washing new recruits and indoctrinating them into believing that they are now working for the most awesome business in the universe.
Me: "Hey Dylan, how did Induction Day go at Googbook...?"
Dylan: "Oh wow, it's the best company IN THE FRICKEN WORLD dude, the employee benefits are some of the best, offering opportunities for career growth, work that positively impacts the human race, and innovative culture. We have bicycles and electric cars to get staff to meetings, gaming centers, organic gardens, and eco-friendly furnishings, on-site physicians, nurses, medical services, and health care coverage, and we positively impact society with the applications and technology, which benefit the entire human race. Oh, and of course there's the amazing pro..."
Me: "Whoa man, whoa...! Looks like you've been totally brain-washed in a single day. Forget 'induction', that was a goddamn 'inductrination'...!!
Dylan: "Oh wow, it's the best company IN THE FRICKEN WORLD dude, the employee benefits are some of the best, offering opportunities for career growth, work that positively impacts the human race, and innovative culture. We have bicycles and electric cars to get staff to meetings, gaming centers, organic gardens, and eco-friendly furnishings, on-site physicians, nurses, medical services, and health care coverage, and we positively impact society with the applications and technology, which benefit the entire human race. Oh, and of course there's the amazing pro..."
Me: "Whoa man, whoa...! Looks like you've been totally brain-washed in a single day. Forget 'induction', that was a goddamn 'inductrination'...!!
by bill cauliflower March 7, 2021
Get the inductrination mug.Psycho-medical term for someone suffering from the confusing days between Christmas and New Year, when nobody really knows what day of the week it is.
Me: "Hey Pete, you were supposed to come over the Saturday after Christmas, where were you yesterday …?"
Pete: "Saturday …??!! I thought yesterday was Tuesday!!"
Me: Jeez, worst case of Hiatus confundo I've ever seen..."
Pete: "Saturday …??!! I thought yesterday was Tuesday!!"
Me: Jeez, worst case of Hiatus confundo I've ever seen..."
by bill cauliflower December 27, 2025
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