offense

What your local sports team sucks at.

Dude, I can't believe the Cardinals threw another interception. Their offense sucks ass.

by alcifer December 10, 2019

AK

Abbreviation of "alta kalet:, Yiddish for an old ass crotchety person. Commonly heard kvetching about how the youth of today have it so easy when the price of real estate is going through the roof, or that no one wants to work for 3 cents an hour, or that college was so easy to pay for back in 1971 that you could work a minimum wage job 5 hours a week and you were all set. News flash folks: the good old days are gone, and us millennials and Zers can't afford it anymore.

Here we go, another couple of AKers out on a Sunday drive on a Wednesday afternoon. *lays on horn*

by alcifer May 06, 2023

hydroxychloroquine

What you take if you're the President and a moron.

Trump is taking hydroxychloroquine to try and prevent the rona. When he strokes out he'll be in the running for a Darwin Award!

by alcifer May 18, 2020

assbrain

Any person who pulls into the left lane cutting you off and then going 15 under the speed limit.

You assbrain you almost hit me.

by alcifer May 17, 2023

more guns

The solution to any problem, according to the NRA.

If your brother was killed by a gun, maybe the gun nuts in this country would stop thinking that more guns will solve everyone's problems. Or maybe not, since they are stupid enough to vote for morons like Donald Trump.

by alcifer August 25, 2016

cal poly

1) Cal Poly is where you go if you want to do something meaningful with the time you spend in college. Of course, going here will virtually guarantee you a prolonged stay, especially if you are in engineering, architecture, or one of the computer majors (in which case you're lucky if you finish in 5-6 years).

2) A source of high stress, difficult and endless work, and perpetual insomnia that will drain you of your time and energy to the point where you miss lectures in order to complete labs on time. If you are in a computer major, be prepared to spend many Friday nights debugging programs to get it ready by the midnight deadline. One of two things is certain: a) you will be tired A LOT, or b) you will be addicted to Adderall.

3) The reason I only get to sleep on days that begin with 'S'. Meanwhile, most other majors drink on every day that ends with 'Y'. Got any Staley classes? Expect this to happen to you!

Cal Poly is living proof of this old saying: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

by alcifer November 16, 2009

roy moore

v. To molest little girls while in a position of authority, especially while making bullshit claims about how your aberrant and horrible behavior is justified by the Bible, or it's fake news, etc. Also see kiddie fiddler.

I beat the shit out of Mark the soccer coach after he Roy Moored my daughter.

by alcifer November 15, 2017