al-in-chgo's definitions

jack it up

Briefly and rapidly masturbating a quasi-erect penis (or "semi") after foreplay leading to partner sex. In this usage the goal is not to masturbate to orgasm, but merely to get the penis stiff enough to penetrate vagina or anus under the assumption that the erection will stay sufficient throughout intercourse aka fucking, presumably leading to a successful climax (orgasm).

"I had to jack it up a little before I could go in, but I was afraid she'd think it was kind of gay, or that I didn't love her."

"Naw, man, you do what you gotta do. Go ahead and get it up a little more. If Dorothy has a problem with that, then why doesn't she use HER hand?"

by al-in-chgo February 20, 2010

Opera Boofa

A pun on "Opera Buffa" (an operatic trend in the 18th and 19th centuries toward a more relaxed mode of opera, often containing humor, such as "The Magic Flute"): "Opera Boofa" is a seriocomic, probably unintentional, portrayal of violative behavior or anal insertion of drugs or spirits under less-than-ideal circumstances.

-- "Did you see that guy testify on TV at the Judiciary Committee hearings?"

-- "Yeah -- the first day was pretty steady -- when he showed up again he got so overwrought denying things that it became pure "Opera Boofa."

"Ouch."

by al-in-chgo October 4, 2018

Dog's Cock

Also "dogcock" or "dogscock." British journalese for an exclamation mark (!) due to the visual similarity. Considered vulgar but widely used within the industry.

Mentioned in Lynn Truss's book EATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES.

"Can't we get along with just one dog's cock on that banner? Surely three is going over the top."

by al-in-chgo March 18, 2011

jackoff artist

A person (usually a man) who is good at masturbation, but since that rudimentary skill requires no particular training, it's usually used to mean someone who has no particular skills at anything beyond masturbation. An American way to designate a "wanker."

"Bob says he's an air-guitar artist."

"Bob is a jackoff artist at best. I'm not even sure he can perform air-guitar."

by al-in-chgo April 1, 2013

Wingnut Welfare Queen

Popularized by the blog Sadly, No, the term "Wingnut Welfare Queen" refers not to a poor person, but to a low-talent, self-appointed pundit of the right, male or female, of the type who have become prominent in large patches of media, Washington D.C. think tanks and the Republican Party, and who depend on some mix of right-wing money, praise or contacts to boost and further their careers. Putting the "wingnut" in Wingnut Welfare Queen means the media figure will be not just predictably or reliably conservative or ultra-conservative, but doggedly and irrationally so.

Many Wingnut Welfare Queens style themselves "Populists"; nonetheless, some some appear to take relish in the abrasiveness and ad hominem quality of their attacks on individuals they perceive as not necessarily contrary in ideology, but lacking in fervor.

A Wingnut Welfare Queen's natural adversaries inhabit the best-recompensed strata of left-wing academia and the leftmost edge of the Democratic Party, with some holdouts on the op-ed pages of liberal metropolitan daily newspapers; they are the upper-tier of the class called Poverty Pimp (q.v.), code-word "Progressive."

.
"What I dislike most of all is not her meretriciousness or meanness, but the way she acts as though she were God's Gift to American politics."

--

"Yep. Follow her career and you'll see how a gossipy media princess with a right-wing tilt became a full-blown wingnut welfare queen."

.

by al-in-chgo July 7, 2010

jackoff buddy

A friend who helps you with mutual masturbation, usually male-on-male.

A jackoff buddy promises a more limited repertoire than a fuck buddy.

by al-in-chgo August 4, 2012

bogosity

From "BOgus" (fake, false, faux) + "-OSITY" (humorous suffix, compare "Heaviosity" at this site):

1. The quality of something that is manifestly false (or bogus)

2. Something contrived, or patently false, designed to project a pleasing image or message through the media (newspapers, TV news, etc).

3. A polite way to say "bullshit," when the situation calls for something a little milder.

(Speaking of politicians who project a "folksy" manner when they themselves are not of humble beginnings):

"But alas, judgments about who's faking it are left primarily to what we might call (for the imposed lack of a more familiar but less printable term)* the bogosity detectors of the American people."

Meghan Daum, L.A. Times columnist, August 12, 2011 (printed in Chicago Tribune).

* She means "Bullshit."

by al-in-chgo August 16, 2011