al-in-chgo's definitions

jockstrap-sniffers

A disparaging way to refer to the type of sports fan, most obvious at the collegiate level, who likes to get a little too close to the players, especially after the game.

Euphemistic synonym: "Rabid fans."

"Before we conduct any interviews, it's a good idea to let the jockstrap-sniffers storm through here. Then we'll shoo them out and get down to business."

by al-in-chgo May 24, 2018

junk shot

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A photograph of a male nude showing all his exterior genitalia explicitly, full frontal. This is often referred to as "the full Monty", but that term's chief reference is to male-stripper performances, while "junk shot" refers specifically to photographs or videos.

"Junk" has been slang for "penis and testicles" for a number of years, and "shot" in this sense refers to photography.

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"You know that famous nude magazine for straight women and gay men? Levi Johnston disappointed me. He was the main article, but no junk shot of any kind. The centerfold had him showing his bottom."

"Bummer. Pun very much intended."

.

by al-in-chgo March 12, 2010

London Flog

The urban practice wherein a man strolls the streets, fully clothed and in a belted trench coat, and slowly but covertly, though a side pocket, masturbates himself in the presence of fellow pedestrians and pasers-by. The benefit of the act is sometimes claimed to be expediency, but more likely is the ability to "get away with it," especially when ejacualation is achieved but not revealed.

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"Why do you say Geoff's a wanker?" -- "I mean, literally, man. I ran into him on Halsted and he had just done a complete London Flog."

"How could you tell?" -- "Well, partly by the refreshed happy-ending look on his face, but mostly by the stain he had made on his trench coat below the buckle."

"Ewww . . . well, at least he kept it in his pants."

by al-in-chgo March 20, 2011

horses and bayonets

Barack Obama's flippant reponse to Mitt Romney's complaint during their third televised debate (October 22, 2012) that the U.S. Navy had fewer battleships than at any time since 1917. Obama's remark that the military has fewer "horses and bayonets, too" makes an analogy that measuring battleships (as opposed to aircraft carriers) is an archaic metric of military power, in much the same way that measuring "horses and bayonets" would no longer indicate an army's might. (NB: Marines are still issued bayonets.)

"The Navy has fewer battleships than at any time since 1917."

"The military has fewer horses and bayonets, too. We live in a different world."

by al-in-chgo October 23, 2012

detumescence

Tumescence in reverse; the process where, after ejaculation, a man's penis shrinks and reverts to "normal" pre-sexual size.

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"I get boners quick but after sex I lose them quick too. My dick goes back to normal size before I can say "detumescence".

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by al-in-chgo March 12, 2010

Clappertrap

Bleats of wounded outrage in a tone of arrogant moral superiority from those who have trashed our civil liberties.

Named for James Clapper, head of NSA.

"The President says we weren't informed that our phone records were secretly being turned over to the FBI because we didn't need to know."

"What utter Clappertrap."

by al-in-chgo June 7, 2013

controversial

1. Tending to provoke or cause controversy by its nature.

2. A cliche the media use to add intrigue or entertainment value to a cultural manifestation or event that is singularly lacking in zest or inherent fascination.

3. Proceeding from 2., sometimes a semiotic code word used by the media to indicate osentible deviance, such as being homosexual or homosexuality, implying (perhaps unwittingly) that the event or person(s) at hand have a lurid background by definition.

1. "It seems that abortion is controversial no matter what a person says about it."

2. "Today we're going to interview Dr. Judah Wellness, whose new book THINK YOURSELF THINNER has become quite controversial."

3. "The TV color commentators keep calling that figure-skater controversial, but where's the controversy? He himself is quite open about being gay and doesn't seem to have a problem with it. I mean, everyone he knows, knows that he's gay."

--

"I agree, the use of "controversial" just seems a way to add spice; especially since coming out of the closet hasn't hurt him or his career. What is so sad is that so often, the media people are usually very au courant and sophisticated, and know darn well when they are using that tag in a hypocritical way."

by al-in-chgo February 21, 2010