Another way yet to refer to semen, especially the kind that dries quickly to the consistency of rubber cement (mucilage) or jelly.
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Guy cums on partner's stomach: "Oops! Better wipe that up quick before it turns into genital jelly."
Guy cums on partner's stomach: "Oops! Better wipe that up quick before it turns into genital jelly."
by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010
1. A euphemism combined with a metaphor: Knob: euphemism for dick head, penis (cf. "get my knob polished"). Slobber: visible pre-cum (pre-ejaculate fluid) emanating from the penis, so called because the fluid is clear and visually resembles drool or spittle.
2. By extension, knob slobber can also mean a dick head bearing visible saliva (spittle) from fellatio, together with pre-ejaculate. The combination of the two is also clear.
A related term is knob slob, a giver of messy blowjobs.
2. By extension, knob slobber can also mean a dick head bearing visible saliva (spittle) from fellatio, together with pre-ejaculate. The combination of the two is also clear.
A related term is knob slob, a giver of messy blowjobs.
by al-in-chgo June 17, 2011
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax . . . sometimes a very funny turn of phrase.
So what's a "paraprosdokian"?
"Like this: I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
"I don't get it"-
"Okay, how about: Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."
"You mean, something like: I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"Phrasemaker!"
"Like this: I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
"I don't get it"-
"Okay, how about: Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."
"You mean, something like: I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"Phrasemaker!"
by al-in-chgo September 18, 2010
A youngish man, usually gay, who has gotten quite fat but is neither old enough nor obese enough to qualify as a full-fledged "chub." Less insulting than the term "heifer" used sometimes to reference the same kind of individual.
"Joe may not quite be a "chubette," but with that paunch, his goatee and chest hair, he's a Bear by anyone's definition." If he gains much more weight he'll qualify for chubette. Moo! But chubby chasers will stand in line around the block to get to him.
Q: How many "chubettes" grow into full-time "chubs"?
A: They all do, unless they lose some weight and tone up; in which case they might pass for muscle bears.
Q: How many "chubettes" grow into full-time "chubs"?
A: They all do, unless they lose some weight and tone up; in which case they might pass for muscle bears.
by al-in-chgo February 07, 2010
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A topic about which there has been a lot of misinformation, myth, fear, and nervous joking.
Many people have it that the "average" penis length of an adult African-American is close to eight inches or more.
Actually, statistics gathered in the USA indicate that on average black men were indeed longer than whites and Hispanics in that area -- but only by about one-third of an inch. Black men have the longest penises, and the shortest. For American men (all races), the average length is about 5 and two-thirds inches, for black men about five and three-quarter inches. The reason the measure of black men did not "swell" the average by a full third-of an-inch is that African-American adult men, as a statistical minority, had fewer men measured as a group than whites and Hispanics, and thus were underweighted in dragging up the average.
A topic about which there has been a lot of misinformation, myth, fear, and nervous joking.
Many people have it that the "average" penis length of an adult African-American is close to eight inches or more.
Actually, statistics gathered in the USA indicate that on average black men were indeed longer than whites and Hispanics in that area -- but only by about one-third of an inch. Black men have the longest penises, and the shortest. For American men (all races), the average length is about 5 and two-thirds inches, for black men about five and three-quarter inches. The reason the measure of black men did not "swell" the average by a full third-of an-inch is that African-American adult men, as a statistical minority, had fewer men measured as a group than whites and Hispanics, and thus were underweighted in dragging up the average.
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So if you're concerned about black penis length -- don't be.
And don't be upset if your would-be Mandingo turns out to be an Average Joe -- he is more likely that than not.
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So if you're concerned about black penis length -- don't be.
And don't be upset if your would-be Mandingo turns out to be an Average Joe -- he is more likely that than not.
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by al-in-chgo March 14, 2010
The three "h's" of "Bear" are "Husky, Hirsute and Homosexual." Add "Muscle" in front and the term defines:
a. A hairy (esp. chest)ed gay man, usually of middle years or more, who is well-muscled or well defined ("cut")usually from body-building or progressive-resistance gym work, with visible attributes such as forearm "guns" or "six-pack abs."
b. More generally, any hairy-chested mature (usually but not definitively) gay male who is at least somewhat physically fit, especially one who presents an imposing or dominant presence. Facial hair and a blue-collar look such as the cliche plaid lumberjack shirt add to the image.
a. A hairy (esp. chest)ed gay man, usually of middle years or more, who is well-muscled or well defined ("cut")usually from body-building or progressive-resistance gym work, with visible attributes such as forearm "guns" or "six-pack abs."
b. More generally, any hairy-chested mature (usually but not definitively) gay male who is at least somewhat physically fit, especially one who presents an imposing or dominant presence. Facial hair and a blue-collar look such as the cliche plaid lumberjack shirt add to the image.
(Definition a) -- "OK, in a day when 'Muscle Bear' has started to nudge out older descriptions like "virile, red-blooded, hairy-chested American male, who do you think is really a muscle bear? Can you put it in terms I'd understand?" -- "Oh, you mean gay porn! Blake Nolan, Dean Coulter, probably Arpad Miklos who wears his muscles so well, possibly Ross Hurston, the power bottom from England, and maybe the very hairy hunky Ray Harley. If Ray grew a beard and played the sexual top more often, I think he'd qualify.
But to me, the quintessential Muscle Bear is Tim Kelly in the HOM gay-porn vids. Woof!"
(Definition b) -- "Mary's straight-as-an-arrow husband Lochinvar is six foot one, hairy, a little chunky but still in good shape from outdoor work. He's forty-three and wears a goatee. Is it safe to call him a muscle bear?" -- "Well, you'd better check it out with Mary to see if he would get upset at any gay inference. But if Mr. L. grows a beard and starts hanging out in taverns every evening, perhaps Mary should start worrying. And why are YOU so concerned, might I ask?"
But to me, the quintessential Muscle Bear is Tim Kelly in the HOM gay-porn vids. Woof!"
(Definition b) -- "Mary's straight-as-an-arrow husband Lochinvar is six foot one, hairy, a little chunky but still in good shape from outdoor work. He's forty-three and wears a goatee. Is it safe to call him a muscle bear?" -- "Well, you'd better check it out with Mary to see if he would get upset at any gay inference. But if Mr. L. grows a beard and starts hanging out in taverns every evening, perhaps Mary should start worrying. And why are YOU so concerned, might I ask?"
by al-in-chgo February 19, 2010
Typically a Mutual Fund is an investment fund aimed at individual investors sponsored by an investment (or "mutual fund") house like Fidelity, Vanguard or T. Rowe Price. Each fund holds a "market basket" of stocks or bonds and individual investors buy into the fund by buying a share at "Net Asset Value," which is the total worth of the fund's holdings, calculated every day, divided by the number of shares outstanding. In other words, a mutual fund whose portfolio (value of all holdings) is worth a million dollars that has a hundred thousand shares outstanding will value those shares at ten dollars apiece. A typical stock-based mutual fund can earn its investors money in three ways: the dividends and capital gains that stocks pay out, and possible appreciation of the fund value per share.
For an individual investor, the advantage of owning a mutual fund is that s/he achieves diversity -- mutual funds own more than fifty stocks, on average -- that could not be achieved by buying a typical hundred shares of stock in only a few corporations. The disadvantages of such funds are that the "load" (sales commission) involved in buying or selling such funds can be considerable, and all funds incur some sort of service fees; that's how the investment house earns its money. Also, no "equity" or stock-based investment is guaranteed.
For an individual investor, the advantage of owning a mutual fund is that s/he achieves diversity -- mutual funds own more than fifty stocks, on average -- that could not be achieved by buying a typical hundred shares of stock in only a few corporations. The disadvantages of such funds are that the "load" (sales commission) involved in buying or selling such funds can be considerable, and all funds incur some sort of service fees; that's how the investment house earns its money. Also, no "equity" or stock-based investment is guaranteed.
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"My broker wants me to buy shares in something called an "open-end fund" but I don't know what that means."
"That's just a way to describe the majority of mutual funds, which remain open to all new investors who have the money to invest in them."
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"My broker wants me to buy shares in something called an "open-end fund" but I don't know what that means."
"That's just a way to describe the majority of mutual funds, which remain open to all new investors who have the money to invest in them."
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by al-in-chgo March 25, 2010