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al benedict's definitions

Yuppie Porn

Television shows or glossy magazines featuring real estate, automobiles, gadgets, boats or furniture of the type preferred by the stereotypical yuppie, even if they are not written or shot with the intention of selling the actual products. A derogatory spin on the stereotype that yuppies receive the same stimulation from material objects that non-yuppies do from sex. Yuppie porno or yuppie pornography can be used.
"Yuppie porn at the New York Times": Title of an article on salon.com about the New York Times' new real estate quarterly.
by Al Benedict November 12, 2006
mugGet the Yuppie Pornmug.

Oneing the two

Attempting to remove stuck poop from a toilet with a well aimed high pressure stream of pee.
Are you Oneing the two in there?

Well, it's not like I have choice. You threw out the brush.

It was gross
by Al Benedict October 7, 2010
mugGet the Oneing the twomug.

Shrubbery

An unreasonable request added to a task by someone who wishes you to fail. From the Monty Python "Knights who say Ni" sketch.
Bob: "In order to convince me that global warming is real, you will have to show that all temperatures everywhere on the globe are setting records at all times."

Bill: "Uh huh. Would you like a Shrubbery as well?"
by Al Benedict June 28, 2013
mugGet the Shrubberymug.

Security by Banality

A computer system made secure by obviously containing nothing of interest. Never a protection against pranksters, in the age of Zombie Spammers, this concept is mostly obsolete.
I protected Mom's computer by installing Windows 98 on it and putting up a thick firewall of bundt cake recipes. True Security by Banality.
by Al Benedict April 9, 2008
mugGet the Security by Banalitymug.

Spamburst

When your email address is chosen as the lucky winner in the contest held by a spammer to determine which email address will be used for the day's, ahem, First Amendment protected free commercial speech. The end results is hundreds if not thousands of bounced messages.
I probably got your message. It just got caught in a spamburst yesterday.
by Al Benedict October 1, 2008
mugGet the Spamburstmug.

winger

Derogatory term for someone politically far to either the right or left. Implies an unwillingness to evaluate issues one at a time.
If there's one thing wingers can unite around, it's their hatred of moderates.

I'm anti rent control, pro gun control, pro abortion and think welfare should be tightened. Something for every winger to hate on.
by Al Benedict July 2, 2024
mugGet the wingermug.

Dimes will get you dollars

Glib way of saying "There is a high probability that..." It doesn't make too much sense if you think about the way gambling odds work, but I didn't create it; I just report it.
Dimes will get you dollars that his car will break down before he gets there.

Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.
by Al Benedict June 30, 2021
mugGet the Dimes will get you dollarsmug.

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