al benedict's definitions
Glib way of saying "There is a high probability that..." It doesn't make too much sense if you think about the way gambling odds work, but I didn't create it; I just report it.
Dimes will get you dollars that his car will break down before he gets there.
Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.
Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.
by Al Benedict June 30, 2021
Get the Dimes will get you dollarsmug. Bob: What did you have for dinner?
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.
by Al Benedict July 29, 2013
Get the Scottish Foodmug. 1) A hard piece of shit that is starting to emerge from between your cheeks before you get to the toilet.
2) A notoriously bad, self indulgent film by Vincent Gallo.
2) A notoriously bad, self indulgent film by Vincent Gallo.
Bob: (Bangs on stall door) "Hurry up! I've got a Brown Bunny here!"
Bill: "OK, OK" (Leaves stall)
Bob: "Thanks!" (Grabs cans of film and rushes in. Seconds later, a flushing sound is heard)
Bob: "Ahhh... That's much better." (Emerges with now empty film cans).
Bill: "OK, OK" (Leaves stall)
Bob: "Thanks!" (Grabs cans of film and rushes in. Seconds later, a flushing sound is heard)
Bob: "Ahhh... That's much better." (Emerges with now empty film cans).
by Al Benedict August 18, 2009
Get the Brown Bunnymug. Describes someone who reacts to criticism by becoming quiet and withdrawn. As opposed to explosive, which means that they "explode" into anger.
Usually introverts are implosive and extroverts are explosive, but neither of those are a rule.
Usually introverts are implosive and extroverts are explosive, but neither of those are a rule.
by Al Benedict June 15, 2011
Get the implosivemug. Setting up your house to ward off long term ninja infestations. It's considered impossible to keep ninjas out entirely. In fact, attempting to do so can attract their attention and just make the problem worse.
1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.
Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).
1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.
Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).
by Al Benedict December 3, 2010
Get the Ninja Proofingmug. A member of the species Homo Sapiens, esp. when being discussed in a way that only makes sense in an anthropological context. Popularized by Howard the Duck.
by Al Benedict October 2, 2008
Get the Hairless Apemug. Are you Oneing the two in there?
Well, it's not like I have choice. You threw out the brush.
It was gross
Well, it's not like I have choice. You threw out the brush.
It was gross
by Al Benedict October 7, 2010
Get the Oneing the twomug.