al benedict's definitions
A tree one displays in one's living room in the middle of February. Generally, very similar to a Christmas tree, but much drier. Ideally decorated with small scraps of tinsel, but having a complete set of Christmas ornaments is acceptable. An alternate method of display is to lay it on its side in the front yard.
The proper method of celebrating a Valentine's Day Tree is to stay at least 3 feet away from it and not make eye contact.
A 4th of July tree is very similar, only with brown needles instead of green.
The proper method of celebrating a Valentine's Day Tree is to stay at least 3 feet away from it and not make eye contact.
A 4th of July tree is very similar, only with brown needles instead of green.
by Al Benedict February 5, 2008
Get the Valentine's Day Tree mug.Are you Oneing the two in there?
Well, it's not like I have choice. You threw out the brush.
It was gross
Well, it's not like I have choice. You threw out the brush.
It was gross
by Al Benedict October 7, 2010
Get the Oneing the two mug.Glib way of saying "There is a high probability that..." It doesn't make too much sense if you think about the way gambling odds work, but I didn't create it; I just report it.
Dimes will get you dollars that his car will break down before he gets there.
Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.
Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.
by Al Benedict June 30, 2021
Get the Dimes will get you dollars mug.Bob: What did you have for dinner?
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.
by Al Benedict July 29, 2013
Get the Scottish Food mug.When your email address is chosen as the lucky winner in the contest held by a spammer to determine which email address will be used for the day's, ahem, First Amendment protected free commercial speech. The end results is hundreds if not thousands of bounced messages.
by Al Benedict October 1, 2008
Get the Spamburst mug.In theory, any form of Rock and Roll that requires a prefix to add focus: Emo Rock, Folk Rock, Punk Rock etc. In practice, a term used to describe a form of rock music that the speaker doesn't consider "authentic".
by Al Benedict April 4, 2008
Get the Prefix Rock mug.1) A hard piece of shit that is starting to emerge from between your cheeks before you get to the toilet.
2) A notoriously bad, self indulgent film by Vincent Gallo.
2) A notoriously bad, self indulgent film by Vincent Gallo.
Bob: (Bangs on stall door) "Hurry up! I've got a Brown Bunny here!"
Bill: "OK, OK" (Leaves stall)
Bob: "Thanks!" (Grabs cans of film and rushes in. Seconds later, a flushing sound is heard)
Bob: "Ahhh... That's much better." (Emerges with now empty film cans).
Bill: "OK, OK" (Leaves stall)
Bob: "Thanks!" (Grabs cans of film and rushes in. Seconds later, a flushing sound is heard)
Bob: "Ahhh... That's much better." (Emerges with now empty film cans).
by Al Benedict August 18, 2009
Get the Brown Bunny mug.