Setting up your house to ward off long term ninja infestations. It's considered impossible to keep ninjas out entirely. In fact, attempting to do so can attract their attention and just make the problem worse.
1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.
Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).
1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.
Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).
by Al Benedict December 03, 2010
Get the Ninja Proofingmug. A member of the species Homo Sapiens, esp. when being discussed in a way that only makes sense in an anthropological context. Popularized by Howard the Duck.
by Al Benedict October 02, 2008
Get the Hairless Apemug. A shibboleth that people that believe that the English language should be static use to find each other.
Kind of like a secret fraternity handshake.
Kind of like a secret fraternity handshake.
Q: "What is the correct way to say a word is not spelled properly?"
A: "Oh god. You're one of those 'misspelt' dumbasses, aren't you? Shoo! The thumbs down button is up and to the right."
A: "Oh god. You're one of those 'misspelt' dumbasses, aren't you? Shoo! The thumbs down button is up and to the right."
by Al Benedict August 21, 2011
Get the misspeltmug. Describes someone who reacts to criticism by becoming quiet and withdrawn. As opposed to explosive, which means that they "explode" into anger.
Usually introverts are implosive and extroverts are explosive, but neither of those are a rule.
Usually introverts are implosive and extroverts are explosive, but neither of those are a rule.
by Al Benedict June 15, 2011
Get the implosivemug. Television shows or glossy magazines featuring real estate, automobiles, gadgets, boats or furniture of the type preferred by the stereotypical yuppie, even if they are not written or shot with the intention of selling the actual products. A derogatory spin on the stereotype that yuppies receive the same stimulation from material objects that non-yuppies do from sex. Yuppie porno or yuppie pornography can be used.
"Yuppie porn at the New York Times": Title of an article on salon.com about the New York Times' new real estate quarterly.
by Al Benedict November 12, 2006
Get the Yuppie Pornmug. Bob: What did you have for dinner?
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.
by Al Benedict July 29, 2013
Get the Scottish Foodmug. An unreasonable request added to a task by someone who wishes you to fail. From the Monty Python "Knights who say Ni" sketch.
Bob: "In order to convince me that global warming is real, you will have to show that all temperatures everywhere on the globe are setting records at all times."
Bill: "Uh huh. Would you like a Shrubbery as well?"
Bill: "Uh huh. Would you like a Shrubbery as well?"
by Al Benedict June 28, 2013
Get the Shrubberymug.