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Definitions by Your local tsundere

Secondhand Suicide 

When someone wants to die but won't commit Suicide

You won't do it to yourself but Almost hoping something else will do it for you.

I.E: A Deadly disease, car crash, something that is outside of your control, ECT.
Man: Hey Dude, what killed man 2?
Man 3: Secondhand Suicide
Man: What's that?

farmers insurance 

We are farmers bum ba dum ba dum dum dum

ball stabber 

My asshole cat that will hospitalize anyone who is of the male gender
Friend: Hows your cat been
Me: you mean ball stabber?