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solomon

A socially distanced Rastafarian. Calm. Dreadlocked. Masked. Alone... but helping others!
Bob Marley would have understood COVID-19 and he would have been socially responsible and he would have written a song to tell everyone how to survive: "Wah gwan! Big up up. BE safe! Kip tuh yuhself...Be solomon!
by You rReal Name July 8, 2020
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Foot me downs

What the second and third child get for their feet because only the oldest gets new shoes.
Little Juliet was always walking with a slight limp, because her sister Emma’s foot me downs had lost a heel on the right side, forcing her to walk in a large circle to the right.
by You rReal Name September 8, 2020
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Shipwrong

A man who started out his career building ships, but with no notable successes. When he wondered aloud what he should do to get better at his craft, AND on his craft, he was assured "Whatever floats your boat!". Lacking any success at doing just that, he replied: "Nothing, absolutely nothing!" will do that.
"Sharkie", was just not very handy with tools, and so, when he apprenticed as a shipwrong on the Titanic, everyone knew he had finally found his true calling.
by You rReal Name July 8, 2020
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Tortal

Evolution gave man two weapons... a brain and a lawyer. Man has an insatiable desire to sue others for perceived or real damages inflected on them by their fellow man. We call one type of abuse a "tort", from the Latin "tortium"... a hurt, an injury or a wrong . One "tort" is just one category of abuse, one wrongful act out of all the acts you can sue for. If you protect your rights by suing, you are seen to be "tortal", one who is NOT be messed with, because you know how to fight back... you KNOW how to SUE!
Bob was one who did not suffer fools lightly. To say his perverse use of courts and the law satisfied his base tortal desires is an understatement of the most extreme kind. He sued his mother for not providing the necessities of life.... IN THE WOMB! He even wanted to sue Google for NOT knowing who killed Jimmy Hoffa, even when he politely asked Alexa to help find out. It was Bob who first came up with "O.o.o,h.h., I love tortals!"
by You rReal Name December 22, 2020
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behearer

One who had the actual soundwaves enter their ear canal and become a signal to their brains. One who heard something first hand (first ear?) with no alterations induced by people who passed on their opinions of what was heard.
Beautiful music exists ONLY in the ear of the behearer What may be squeaks and squawks to you may be be the music of angels to another. Nothing can duplicate the music beheard live in a concert. And God said: “Behear what I say unto you for it’s vibrations shall bring you joy!
by You rReal Name January 4, 2021
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Autovile

Any person who has spent enough money on a car that he/she becomes unbearably prejudiced whenever conversing about cars.
Alternate: A person standing alone being an absolute jerk.
I find that, at parties, when I try to talk about various great cars that an autovile will inevitably steal the conversation by claiming he has tried them all and ended up in an audience} so privileged that I have to leave, lest I have to give him an expunation of my disgust.
by You rReal Name November 22, 2019
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I-Eye

A digitally enabled human eye lens replacement which provides perfect vision. I-Eye adds a digitally created "virtual underlay”, a Bluetooth app camera which analyzes what your brain is seeing and adding Apple ads imagery for the best device to bu yNOW to keep you alive. Perfect vision and perfect situational awareness, and a direct link to Apple Pay.
Many Apple presidents had toyed with the idea of using implanted virtual reality devices, but only one accomplished it. f Apple is bringing home I-Eye production home from China. Said his followers “I-Eye Cap’n!” ... when asked if they would like universal free Apple Eye health care .
by You rReal Name July 27, 2020
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