You rReal Name's definitions

Bobotomy

The first in a planned series of personalized brain surgeries which remove all traces of the common character traits of all the Bobs you ever knew. The steadfastness and resolve of the “Robert”, and the good looks and endearments of “Rob” in him are left alone, but all the fun-loving eccentricities and the “no pun left behind” attitude simply disappear on the cutting room floor. If the clinic is proven to successfully restructure Bob, the Joebotomy will arrive in time for the election. Any old Joe you choose can be transformed with a few deft cuts to become Barack or Bill-like at the molecular level. The Flobotomy follows and offers back a serious insurance agent where once only a floozy lived.

Bob had tried all of the run of the mill brain surgeries to make himself more docile, less irritating...but when the Bobotomy was introduced in ‘19 he was first in line for it and he was able to live a benign yet fruitful life. Never again would the world be subjected to bad puns and childish practical jokes.

by You rReal Name August 19, 2020

Persintage

The exact degree of sin that you just committed. Expressed as "GUILTY-01" to "GUILTY-100". So a quick butt-pat of your secretary in the halls might be GUILTY-01, while a three way with and at your Mother-in-law's Bridge Club is GUILTY-100.

Allan was a recent groom, and as such he had not learned his persintage catechism. He thought that just "checking out a cute butt" was off the scale, but that has been judged GUILTY-27 for years.

by You rReal Name August 8, 2020

Liatribe

An angry rant on any topic in which absolutely nothing said is true. Every word of every sentence is simply one lie after another

Bob was at the end of his blogging rope. He could no longer maintain interest in his blog without creating a new liatribe every day in which he mislead his readers with ever increasing madness. Never again would he be believed on any topic.

by You rReal Name December 24, 2020

Costbro

How you refer to those friends who help you through life after divorce by sharing a Costco membership so you do not get withdrawal symptoms from not having a large enough jar of mayonnaise.... in reserve.

Bob’s Costbro, Jock, was the perfect match. They consumed broiled chicken, cole slaw, three bean salad, Frank’s Red Hot and toilet paper at the same rates. But the best is that Jock builds winter scenes of little log houses out of Qtips at the same rate that wax builds up in Bob’s ears.

by You rReal Name January 29, 2021

Amateurlific

If a person, say an author, is well spoken and writes a lot of books, he is called prolific. But, an ordinary person who writes well, but rarely and not in detail... he shall be referred to as amateurlific. He can carry on a written conversation fairly well, but the castle he builds with his prose tend to most often be made of sand. He fails to write enough detail, but fortunately for his readers, he chooses to write infrequently so they let him get away with it.

Bob often was self-described as knowing an extraordinary amount about everything, whereas his blog lacked detail and in all other ways was equally amateurlific. He lacked content, and detail. He often promised, but he never really delivered. Little Leaguer.

by You rReal Name June 24, 2020

Longtexted

A person who just sends text after text to drive you nuts. Long in the keys, not just long in th3 tooth!

Bob really bothered a lot of his friends since he was the longtexted to the point of making them fall asleep,or to bleed from the fingernails trying to keep up.

by You rReal Name October 31, 2024

Sick's Fee

Canada has free universal health care. Well, as free as it can get, they pay for it out of income taxes and sales taxes. A longstanding Canadian tradition requires each citizen to set aside that amount of money he or she would usually have to spend on medical insurance, and to use it to help others in need. The "Sick's Fee" is the name assigned to that money, and by law it must be spent on, or given to, some other Canadian who is need of something, whether that be a new roof, clean beaver pelt clothing, maple syrup or an exhibit of Canadiana. The Sick's Fee is the "pay it forward" component in the Constitution. How does this cash get spent? Well, the finest examples of the art of making maple tree taps has been gathered for display on a planned new web site. "SicksFeeTapArt.ca" is just one more twisted and bored Canadian's view of how to help his fellow man to survive COVID-19. You can have fun even if you are not Canadian. Just contribute ONE photo which exemplifies any artistic creation that in some tiny, remote, humorous way refers to the word "tap". Just 3 simple letters... but a world of untapped possibilities!

Where do YOU stand on this?... Sick's Fee Tap Art? Yes or NO!?? Will you socially distance your self again today? or will you "Pull a Trump" and go spread your spit at the office on May 1?
If Bernie Sanders had not dropped out, might the USA once have adopted the tradition of the Sick's Fee? Would Americans soon have been spending their sick's fee on each other? Would they say Yes! to Sick's Fee Tap Art? Or would they say "You can take your sick's fee to hell" or "I'll show you where you can shove your sick's fee to!"
"I cannot stand Sick's Fee Tap Art.... I have to be closer to see the whites of their eyes."
First they take your guns and then they want you... sick's fee tap art!
Trump closed the Canadian border because he knows everyone in Canada likes sick's fee tap art.
Until COVID-19 came along, even Google had never seen the phrase "sick's fee tap art" anywhere in the Interweb, now it has gone viral!
I believe one Canadian's "sick's fee" to be another man's "two meters less 10%".

by You rReal Name April 16, 2020