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Definitions by WolfgangSpartacus

cum cologne 

When you jerk off using scented lotion and it results in you smelling good
Rosa: Why do you smell like coconuts?

Brian: Cum Cologne

strict diet

When you fuck a vegan girl using a lamb skin condom
Joe: How did things go with that girl last night?

Nick: Who? The vegan?

Joe: Yea

Nick: I gave her a a strict diet

horse fire 

It's not what you think, but exactly what you expect.

Expecting an outcome but being surprised on how it comes to be.
Morty: Aww geez Rick, what are we gonna do?

Rick: I don't know Morty, I mean this entire situation is a horse fire.

Morty: A what?

Rick: It's a horse fire morty, I mean I expected these Mongoloid Raptors to try and kill us, but I didn't think they'd use sardonic malorganite to try and do it. This is bad Morty. Real bad.

Morty: I still don't understand where the horse comes in?

Rick: Priorities Morty! Space raptors are trying to kill us with one of the universe's deadliest weapons and you're still hung up on grandpa's vocabulary!

Morty: Yea but..

Rick: But nothing Morty!! It's a real phrase!! You can look it up on Urban Dictionary if we make it out of this horse fire of a situation!!

closet wild 

A person who is in fact wild but not willing to admit to it