Definitions by WhoDatPhantom
Chief Weather
Chief Weather by WhoDatPhantom August 29, 2026
Bidet Baby
A person who has become so accustomed to using a bidet at home that taking a shit anywhere without one feels primitive, uncomfortable, and borderline unacceptable. A Bidet Baby may reluctantly use a public or non-bidet toilet when absolutely necessary, but will spend the entire experience wishing they had just waited until they got home.
The final stage of bidet dependency: toilet paper alone no longer feels clean enough.
The final stage of bidet dependency: toilet paper alone no longer feels clean enough.
“I’ve become such a Bidet Baby that I had to shit at work today and genuinely considered driving home instead.”
Bidet Baby by WhoDatPhantom August 29, 2026
Charmin Special
A poop so perfectly formed and executed that it leaves absolutely no residue behind. The first wipe comes back completely clean, proving that wiping was theoretically unnecessary. A true “no-wiper” can never actually be confirmed without wiping at least once, so Charmin Special refers to the shit itself, not the wipe.
“Holy shit, I just had a Charmin Special. Wiped once to check and the Charmin came back looking brand fucking new.”
Charmin Special by WhoDatPhantom August 29, 2026