Definitions by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm
Happy Gilmored
Happy Gilmore is known for the way he takes 6-7 steps up to his golf ball before driving it further than humanly possible. Happy Gilmoring/Happy Gilmored piggy backs off this idea in that you take your fully erect penis and sprint right towards the bent over ass of the person you are trying to have sex with. The intent is to have your dick go further up the vagina/asshole than any other cock that has been in there in the past.
Dude: Yo man my chick drank so much and passed out leaning on the bed last night.
Friend: Did you do anything weird to her?
Dude: Weird? No. But I happy Gilmored the shit outta that ass. Got like 3 inches deep!
Friend: Did you do anything weird to her?
Dude: Weird? No. But I happy Gilmored the shit outta that ass. Got like 3 inches deep!
Happy Gilmored by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm May 18, 2017
Scandinavian Hat Trick
While having sexual intercourse with a female in the missionary position, finish inside her. Once you finish, proceed to urinate while you stick your finger down your throat and make yourself vomit as well. Make sure the vomit lands in the goal, "vagina" so that you score the hat trick.
Friend 1: Last night was the tits! I boned a chick and came inside her!
Friend 2: That's it?
Friend 1: What do you mean that's it?
Friend 2: I brought some bitch back from the bar and gave her and scored the Scandinavian Hat Trick bro!
Friend 2: That's it?
Friend 1: What do you mean that's it?
Friend 2: I brought some bitch back from the bar and gave her and scored the Scandinavian Hat Trick bro!
Scandinavian Hat Trick by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm May 16, 2017
Ballsistic Pissiles
While taking a piss, the urine stream splits into 2 streams that flow in random uncontrollable directions due to the buildup of semen from recently busting a fresh nut. The piss usually gets all over the floor and the seat and even sometimes your clothes and bathroom towels. The aftermath can be devastating.
Gary: Dude I just got done nailing this fat chick. She had a bad case of FUPA and didn't...hold on a sec I will be right back. Gotta take a piss.
Frank: How long ago did you nail this fatty? Don't let your guard down, you may get attacked by ballsistic pissiles.
Frank: How long ago did you nail this fatty? Don't let your guard down, you may get attacked by ballsistic pissiles.
Ballsistic Pissiles by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 28, 2017
Corn Cock Pipe
The surprise piece of corn that gets attached to your penis as you pull out of the anus after having anal sex with a male or female who recently ate corn.
Man: Dude, I boned some chick last night in the ass and when I pulled out, I had a piece of corn stuck to my dick.
Friend: Maybe I should go get you a button nose to go with the corn cock pipe!
Friend: Maybe I should go get you a button nose to go with the corn cock pipe!
Corn Cock Pipe by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 28, 2017
Colorado Cliffhanger
The process of when the semen from a freshly ejaculated penis never actually separates itself from the semen in the urethra, leaving the portion of semen that escaped dangling loosely in space and unable to be claimed as a "cum-shot." This is common with men who are dealing with dehydration or the common cold.
Man: Dude the weirdest thing happened to me last night.
Friend: Go on...
Man: I was drilling this chick and pulled out to spray her in the eyeball and my load never left my dick!
Friend: Ahhhh the ole Colorado Cliffhanger!
Friend: Go on...
Man: I was drilling this chick and pulled out to spray her in the eyeball and my load never left my dick!
Friend: Ahhhh the ole Colorado Cliffhanger!
Colorado Cliffhanger by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 28, 2017
Mission Accumplished
When your only goal is to shoot your hot load all over the face of the person you just had sex with (in the missionary position) and you succeed.
Mission Accumplished by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 26, 2017
Helicum Balloon
An insanely large cum bubble produced from the combination of a crazy amount of jizz in the asshole and a fart. With a large enough fart, the balloon will take off and usually splatter hot sperm all over the nearest victim.
Jenny got pounded by so many dudes at the frat party last night she was producing the biggest helicum balloons you could possibly imagine!
Helicum Balloon by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 25, 2017