Uncle Gary's Potato Farm's definitions
Ant: You won't believe me but my girl gave me a blumpkin last night.
Me: Good for you. My girl is a twat waffle and won't do that so I have to loag on the toilet to simulate.
Me: Good for you. My girl is a twat waffle and won't do that so I have to loag on the toilet to simulate.
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm January 17, 2019
Get the Loagmug. The act of putting your penis into your own ass (or vagina in the rare case your are born with both) and pounding away against your own will.
Man: (sobbing) I got moleincested last night.
Friend: What does that mean? What happened?
Man: Well, last night I was really drunk and passed out. Woke up to me drilling my own asshole.
Friend: What does that mean? What happened?
Man: Well, last night I was really drunk and passed out. Woke up to me drilling my own asshole.
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 7, 2017
Get the Moleincestmug. The act of shooting a fresh load of sperm onto a piping hot piece of shit that you currently have resting in a skillet on your stovetop. You then patiently scrape the penal cheese out of your foreskin (known as smegma) on top of the cum log and bake on medium for approximately 12 minutes or until the jizz turns a dark yellow. Set aside to cool down, this is obviously not for consumption, that would be disgusting. You then take the room temp smeg foo young and blend it into a fine liquid. Proceed to pour that liquid into a funnel that you have placed into your penis hole and enjoy!
Mike 1: Yo man, do you want to get Chinese food later? Im thinking some egg foo young?
Mike 2: That shit is gross. How about we get some smeg foo young instead and feed our boners?
Mike 2: That shit is gross. How about we get some smeg foo young instead and feed our boners?
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm May 26, 2017
Get the Smeg Foo Youngmug. The act of shooting a hefty cumshot across the room and getting some on the tv and passing out before cleaning, resulting in a nice jizz crust cover that would need to be chiseled out if left long enough
T-Rex: bro, I saw the best porn last night. Sware my load hit the fucking ceiling fan and splattered everywhere.
Big Easy: remind me to never visit you. Did you clean the tv?
T-Rex: I didn’t clean Shit. No clue where it went.
Big Easy: here (hands over a jack hammer) you will need this. Take these also (hands him 4 beers), have fun ice scraping.
Big Easy: remind me to never visit you. Did you clean the tv?
T-Rex: I didn’t clean Shit. No clue where it went.
Big Easy: here (hands over a jack hammer) you will need this. Take these also (hands him 4 beers), have fun ice scraping.
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 21, 2019
Get the Ice scrapingmug. When a female, usually a filthy whore, gets double penetrated (in both holes), and each guy blows their respective loads inside. The female then stands up and simultaneously rips a hot fart and a queef resulting in 2 powerful streams off jit (cum) shooting ferociously downwards resembling someone wearing a jet pack during take off.
Slut: Hello, I need my carpets cleaned. The stains are massive and in 2 spots.
Carpet Cleaning Service: How did this happen mam?
Slut: Well I guess you can say I rode the jit pack.
Carpet Cleaning Service: This doesn't explain how it happened.
Slut: Fine. Timmy and Earl put there 6 inch veiny meat whistles into my ass and cunt and busted a gooey nut into each. I stood up and ripped ass and vag and shot 2 ropes of jit all over the rug.
Carpet Cleaning Service: Now that explains it. (pukes)
Carpet Cleaning Service: How did this happen mam?
Slut: Well I guess you can say I rode the jit pack.
Carpet Cleaning Service: This doesn't explain how it happened.
Slut: Fine. Timmy and Earl put there 6 inch veiny meat whistles into my ass and cunt and busted a gooey nut into each. I stood up and ripped ass and vag and shot 2 ropes of jit all over the rug.
Carpet Cleaning Service: Now that explains it. (pukes)
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm May 26, 2017
Get the Jit Packmug. This is a term that describes someone who thinks they wet the bed, when in fact they did not. This typically happens when a couple who are completely obliterated have sex. The male has most likely been holding in piss like his bladder was the Hoover Dam and right at the climax, he has no control of the floods and fills his partner with semen and urine. He then rolls over and is out cold in seconds. The female, who is also drunk, has no idea he went number 1 inside her and also rolls over to go to sleep. She wakes up hours later in a puddle of piss that was not hers.
Big Easy: Dude, last night was a train wreck. My wife keeps apologizing to me for wetting the bed but she really didn't.
Tyrant: Not following you there bud.
Big Easy: I think I pissed insider her last night and didn't want to tell her.
Tyrant. Well you can't ever tell her about the third party bed wetting.
Tyrant: Not following you there bud.
Big Easy: I think I pissed insider her last night and didn't want to tell her.
Tyrant. Well you can't ever tell her about the third party bed wetting.
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm February 22, 2019
Get the Third Party Bed Wettingmug. The act of taking a shit, (which needs to be at least 12 inches in length and 1 piece), pulling it back out using any method possible (gloves, fork and knife, bare hand), placing it on saran wrap, rolling it like a blunt on 4/20, then driving around looking for a group of kids to throw the log at.
Big East: Dawg, I just egged the shit out of a school bus. Must have hit it with like 9 eggs!
Tyrant: Eggs? You a pussy? You need to start paper boying. Pull one of your piping hot logs out of the toilet, wrap that sum' bitch up in some plastic wrap or something clear, and toss that fucker at someones head.
Big Easy: The fuck is wrong with you.
Tyrant: Eggs? You a pussy? You need to start paper boying. Pull one of your piping hot logs out of the toilet, wrap that sum' bitch up in some plastic wrap or something clear, and toss that fucker at someones head.
Big Easy: The fuck is wrong with you.
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 15, 2019
Get the Paper Boyingmug.