Tim Jerome's definitions

New Hartford

An extremely wealthy suburb in upstate New York much like Greenwich, CT or Beverly Hills, CA. Don't even bother moving here in you're not a millionaire. Tourists, however, are always welcome.

Donald Trump: "I flew to New Hartford yesterday for a haircut."

Wealthy New Hartford man: "Let's go to my $500,000 mansion and rub whip cream on our bodies in front of the fire."

Wealthy New Hartford women: "When I'm depressed I like to roll around in a big pile of money to lift myself up."

Bumper Sticker on a New Hartford SUV: WHOEVER DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS WINS!

by Tim Jerome December 19, 2007

Forrest Gump

When you have intercourse with a fat guy's belly button and creampie it.

Lots of girls dream of blowing Ron Jeremy, but many more dudes want to Forrest Gump him.

by Tim Jerome April 3, 2009

Smitty

Nickname for someone with the last name Smith.

Some guy: Hey, Smitty.

Smitty: Hey, some guy.

by Tim Jerome March 18, 2008

Fat Back Truck

Another name for an extra-wide pickup truck with dual rear tires.

"Why do Alex and all his friends drive fat back trucks?"

"Your mom drives a fat back and she has a greasy mullet."

by Tim Jerome February 19, 2008

Overshare

When you get so drunk you tell a good friend about the time you were crazily in love with an adrogynous looking person who later turned out to be a female. Your drunken confession delves into epiphanies about your latent homosexuality, your past crushes on (and platonic affairs with) older married people and your dabblings in suicidal behavior. Instances of oversharing are often followed by headaches, embarrassment, vulnerability, extensive journaling and/or therapy and (sometimes) long walks alone.

You: "...and that is ultimately what led me to realize that a homosexual romp with a married best friend could be a character building experience instead of a moral transgression. All the emails, and "dates" and trips were obviously leading up to something. It's like the time in college when I took LSD. I was turned on by the risk of it, like riding a rollercoaster without a safety harness. I mean, I sort of knew I would come out OK but I also..."

Your friend: (to him-or her-self) Sheesh! what an oversharer.

by Tim Jerome October 30, 2008

that's the way the cookie crumbles

Saying meaning life is unpredictable.

Forest Gump: "Life is like a box of chocolates...(takes bite out of piece of chocolate)...you never know what you're gonna get."

Me: "What a fucking stupid idiot, but, I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles."

by Tim Jerome March 18, 2008

Tex Mex

Cheap, dirty brown weed from mexico sold in Texas.

Stoner: Yo, mon! Got any KGB?

Drug Dealer: Nah, just some crappy Tex Mex.

Stoner: Cool. I'll take an ounce. I'm going to bake a big batch of brownies and give them to my sister to share with her 3rd grade class.

by Tim Jerome February 20, 2008