Definitions by The_J_Man

The Slatkin Effect

The phenomenon by which a conversation is more interesting the quicker you pass by it.

"...I know, I couldn't believe it was stuck in his..." would be The Slatkin Effect in action.

The Slatkin Effect by The_J_Man August 28, 2013

baurant 

bar + restaurant = baurant
(pronounced "bar" "aunt")

This term is applicable to any of the dozens of interchangeable bar + unspecific cuisine establishments that now pepper the American landscape: Applebee's, Bennigan's, Chili's, Houlihan's, TGI Friday's, etc. Note that a true baurant ends in "'s".

"What are you in the mood for?"
"I could really go for a chicken sandwich with honey mustard, bacon, and cheese."
"Baurant it is."

baurant by The_J_Man May 21, 2009

Who art thou father? 

When Who's your daddy? gets tired, change it up with a little "Who art thou father?" Can also be embellished with a chaser, as in "Who art thou father... biotch?!?"

Vader: "Luke"
Luke: "Yes?"
Vader: "I am your father."
Luke: "No, that's not true... that's impossible..."
Vader: "Who's your daddy?"
Luke: "NOOOO!"
Vader: "Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?"
Luke: "I'll never join you!"
Vader: "Didn't you show up here with two hands? Who art thou father?"
Luke: "Well played."

Who art thou father? by The_J_Man March 3, 2009

babysitter TV

The TV that watches your child while your child watches it.

If the Stones wrote "Mother's Little Helper" today, the song would have been about the babysitter TV.

babysitter TV by The_J_Man March 2, 2009

hell kindling 

When saying someone is going to burn in hell just isn't strong enough, go with hell kindling. This would be the sort of individual that the rest of hell's residents would rather not be associated with, the sort that burns even easier than the others. When they show up, the rest of the damned would be like "Damn! Did it just get hotter in here?" What gets the hellfires started quicker than anything else? Hell kindling.

"That Bernie Madoff is just the sort of hell kindling that will stave off a cold day in hell."

hell kindling by The_J_Man March 2, 2009