The Real Detective 's definitions

Jazzy Jizz

An orgasm so theatrical, so flamboyant, it practically demands a spotlight. Characterized by involuntary jazz hands, sound effects reminiscent of a tuba, and the emotional intensity of a Broadway finale. Often leaves one partner confused and the other bowing to imaginary applause.

“We were just vibing, and then bam—he hit me with the jazzy jizz. I think I heard a trumpet.”

by The Real Detective June 23, 2025

Thunderkiss

When two people turn around, bend over, touch cheeks and simultaneously fart.

Bro, I walked in on Paddy and Lil Dan doing a Thunderkiss. The paint was peeling off the walls.

by The Real Detective June 28, 2025

Paddy Poundcake

The sacred act of dropping a long, heavy-duty dump on work time — the kind that echoes, steams, and might legally qualify as a biohazard.

Derived from “Paddy” — short for cow pat, as in a big, steaming slab of shit — and “poundcaking”, the process of packing it in thick. Together, they form a majestic union of paid time-wasting and gastrointestinal warfare.

Boss: “Where’s Nathan?”
Worker: “He must be dropping another Paddy Poundcake. Been gone since smoko.”

by The Real Detective July 30, 2025

Cam stain

When a person is short because their father wiped the other half of them on the curtains

"That's not a cum stain - that's a Cam Stain: proof his Dad finished half the job and left the rest to grow up five-foot-nothing"

by The Real Detective May 21, 2025