The Original Agahnim's definitions

Poseur

Someone more desperate than anybody to prove to others that they are a wonderful, colorful person.

The poseur worked hard at being loose all her life, so that people would like/love her. She always said she didn't care what anybody thought, or preached to everyone about how they should all be themselves and stop trying to prove they were good people, but really she was more desperate than anybody to convince others she didn't care what anybody thought. There were those of them that could see through the rungs in her ladder, as she could see through the rungs in theirs.

by The Original Agahnim November 2, 2021

Unrealistic expectations

Expecting somebody to find and do something impossible.

The teenager commited suicide due to unmet unrealistic exectations by someone in his family. Unrealistic expectations are the kind where somebody is really never going to be good enough, even if they did something impossible, then they went on and did a thousand more impossible things.

by The Original Agahnim July 25, 2021

Joan Rivers route

Becoming everything you made fun of yesterday. A life where smiling was once easy, but becomes harder and harder while cynicism grows as the end gets closer and closer, and the reality that nobody will miss you when the end does get here sets in.

The bubbly girl went the Joan Rivers route through life, and the more she started to practice everything she once preached against, the more she tried to change reality from what ot was into a new one. It got harder and harder to respect her as she got older (though nobody really did have much respect for her if any before anyway).

by The Original Agahnim June 23, 2021

Work

Females with families don't do more chores/work around the house or childcare work than males with families. They just often forget that it takes two parents to raise a kid they both made, because they want complete control over the marriage, and claiming that they do more than half the work (more than 50/50) instead of half the work (50/50) is a good way to gain complete control of the marriage. That way if their husband disagrees they can just become a single mother and get more attention/support/power over their ex husband for it. It's interesting how females in relationships with other females never complain about one spouse doing more of the work than the other, they can both claim to be doing more work than everyone else, and they can both claim to be right always, with nobody there to stand up to them with a disagreement.

In order to know how much work another person is doing, you'd have to be them, and someone can only do that with their imaginations.

by The Original Agahnim October 7, 2021

Elf hats

Something that makes anything seem harmless even if it really isn't.

Emperor Judge- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?

First convict (with all the menacing humorless brevity he can muster)- I'll take firing squad, I'm firing squad hard. I was born a marine, so I don't have to actually join the armed forces to be what I'm destined to be.

Emperor judge- Okay, you got it, firing squad it is for you.

Emperor judge to second convict- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets?

Second convict- I've always been a roughneck, so I'll take hanging by the neck to show em' even if I die, I can still hang.

Emperor judge- Okay, we will hang you, it should be fun!

Emperor judge to third convict- What about you, do you want firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?

Third convict- I'll take getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats for 5,000 Trebek!

Emperor judge- I don't think I've ever met a convict so eager to die. Before you start thinking this is going to be funny, you do know how long it is actually going to take two midgets to cut you in half and split you don't you? They have to reciporicate about four times for every one time a regular person has to do it, it's not going to be fun for you, but I'm going to order a feast to watch my favorite kind of execution.

by The Original Agahnim November 27, 2021

Double standard

The one where if a dude claimed he got raped people wouldn't hesitate to question or laugh about his suffering/trauma, but if a female claims she got raped, people are expected to cry, march, protest, beat, kill, or a cut somebody's dick off for her, go to war, do something about it is one you don't hear about much from feminists. No wonder they keep so much power that way.

You tend to hear a feminist pick at the double standards that make them look brave, strong, and heroic more than you tend to hear about the ones that make them look cowardly, pathetic, and weak. Males don't have that luxury, despite all their push for what they think equality is. Their view of equality is that males have it made, and it's an unrealistic view.

by The Original Agahnim July 23, 2021

My cat ate it

Sounds like an excuse from the 80's for why a kid didn't have their homework done on time, but if you're talking about why a houseplant is no longer with you, sometimes it's true.

Girl- Why is your houseplant dead? Were you too high to notice it needed water?

Guy- My cat ate it smartass.

by The Original Agahnim December 26, 2021