The Logical Fallacy's definitions

Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em

A state of personality where one is paradoxically considered an asshole, but is still considered endearing and likable.

"It's great to be an asshole, but you don't want to be a total asshole. There's a balance that must be struck. Assholes who are total assholes suffer too much backlash for their nature and are generally considered insufferable by all. Thus, you must learn to follow proper asshole decorum and fall under the Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em. You have accomplished this when people say things about you like 'he's funny, but he's an asshole', or 'I like Dave, but he's kind of an asshole.' That's the Goldilocks zone. You want people to compliment you, or express fondness for you, but then immediately feel the need to point out that you're an asshole."
-- TJ "The Amazing Atheist" Kirk, "10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum"

by The Logical Fallacy February 27, 2019

10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum

A set of guidelines that applies to those who which to be found within the Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em.

1. Consider whether or not your assholish response is inflicted on someone that deserves it.
2. Treat customer service people well, but not TOO well.
3. Do not be an asshole to your significant other.
4. Be clear to people that you are to spend a prolonged amount of time with that you are an asshole.
5. If around men, pretend that your asshole comment is just a joke. If around women, reserve all assholish behaviors to an absent mutual acquaintance.
6. When applying an assholish generalization of a specific group (see rule #5 for an example), be sure to create plausible deniability by saying “not all” followed by the targets of ridicule.
7. Select certain opinions of your opponent as amusing, but not worthy of an actual response.
8. Be interchangeably and inconsistently nice to people you are often an asshole too.
9. Don’t be an asshole to someone you see as beneath you in the social hierarchy, such as the homeless, children or developmentally challenged.
10. Do not be afraid to break rules #1-9 every now and again.

"It's great to be an asshole, but you don’t want to be a total asshole. There's a balance that must be struck. Assholes who are total assholes suffer too much backlash for their nature and are generally considered insufferable by all. Thus, you must learn to follow proper asshole decorum and fall under the Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em. You have accomplished this when people say things about you like 'he's funny, but he's an asshole', or 'I like Dave, but he's kind of an asshole.' That's the Goldilocks zone. You want people to compliment you, or express fondness for you, but then immediately feel the need to point out that you’re an asshole. So here are 10 rules to be a proper asshole with impeccable asshole decorum."
-- TJ "The Amazing Atheist" Kirk, "10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum"

by The Logical Fallacy February 27, 2019

"The Card Says Moops" Maneuver

A form of logically fallacious reasoning that involves winning an argument by taking a contrarian position that is left just vague enough to where they win the argument regardless of which side comes out on top.

Named after the famous scene from the Seinfeld episode "The Bubble Boy."

There's a certain beat-you-at-your-own-gameiness to "The Card Says Moops" Maneuver. "Safe spaces are bullshit, but if you get one I get one, too." "There's no such thing as systemic oppression, but if there were, I'd be oppressed." It's dismissing the rhetoric of social justice while also trying to use it against you. Claiming "the card says 'Moops'" does not so much mean "I believe the people who invaded Spain in the 8th century were literally called 'The Moops'," but rather "you can't prove I don't believe it." Not a statement of sincere belief; simply moving a piece across the board. All in the game, yo.
-- Innuendo Studios, "The Alt-Right Playbook: The Card Says Moops"

by The Logical Fallacy February 3, 2019

Schrödinger's Douchebag

A guy who says offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him.

Any website that lacks effective moderation and allows some level of anonymity will, to varying degrees, approxomate 4chan, and be overrun with Schrödinger's Douchebags. Now this type of person defends, for instance, rape-jokes by saying "all humor is inherently punching down because there must be a butt to every joke." He hasn't thought about it. he assumes it's true because he figures "(he's) a smart guy, and whatever (he) assumes is probably right", but he's unfazed if you prove otherwise. There's no shortage of dodgy reasons he might be right and you wrong. He'll just pick another one. What matters is the game continues.

-- Innuendo Studios example of Schrödinger's Douchebag, "The Alt-Right Playbook: The Card Says Moops"

by The Logical Fallacy February 3, 2019

closed systems of thought

A way of thinking that begins with the conclusion and spends the rest of its time trying to find ways to justify the conclusion, rather than the other-way around.

During an interview with the Monty Python troupe in 1979, they professed that "Life of Brian" was a condemnation of closed systems of thought. Example: after Brian escapes from the Romans, he is followed by a group of people who mistakenly believe he is the Messiah based on the fact that he does not finish his statement and therefore is "mysterious" to them. When he tells them he is not the messiah, they claim that only the true messiah would deny this. That is where dogma comes in. In the early stages of their new religion, Brian's unlikely followers built their faith out fo whole-cloth. They recover a gourd that is briefly owned by Brian, proclaim that it is a holy artifact and begin to assign greater meaning and significance to it. Upon finding his shoe, a schism emerges among his new followers. They are instantly dedicated to the emerging dogma to the religion of Brian. They are so eager to believe in Brian as the messiah that they immediately begin fashioning the tenants of their faith; the dogma of their religion.

-- Dogma & Theology - Life of Brian | Renegade Cut

by The Logical Fallacy January 12, 2019

trumpish

Simultaneously churlish and childish.

Now don't be trumpish.

by The Logical Fallacy January 3, 2019

Churchlish

Religious dogma used as an excuse to act assholish and mean-spirited to everybody. Portmanteau of "church" and "churlish".

Just because the Bible says that you can buy women does not mean you have the right to pawn your daughter off to a creep with a checkbook. That's just churchlish.

by The Logical Fallacy January 3, 2019