The Colonel's definitions

Defcon

Stands for "defecation condition" - a play off of the government acronym for "defense condition". Refers to the varying, and usually scaling, levels of severity relating to an impending bowel movement. The direction of the sliding scale varies from user to user, but typical usage labels Defcon 1 as the least urgent, and Defcon 5 as an imminent expulsion (the opposite of the defense department's usage).

Dude, I was at Defcon 5 and nearly shit my pants. Luckily we drove by a Carl's Jr. and I was able to drop a load.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

sponge

A boogie board - a soft, spongey flotation device used to ride waves on one's belly.

Look at all the little kids on sponges out in the water.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

Chest Puddles

Large, mushy boobs that melt into wide puddles when the woman lies on her back.

Her rack looked epic when she was in her bra, but as soon as she took it off and lay down on her back, they turned into chest puddles.

by The Colonel February 27, 2006