The Cap N''s definitions

Deployment Driven Down Syndrome

A neurological disorder generally presenting itself in males aged 18-40 as a result of deploying to environments that are so hot the brain cooks inside of a helmet that is bombarded by high frequency radio waves and X-ray radiation while simultaneously trying to figure out exactly what the mission is. The people who are handicapped by this syndrome return noticably impaired in both mental and physical capabilities.

My uncle has Deployment Driven Down Syndrome (DDDS). He spent 9 months looking at the same patch of desert for 8 hours a day during OSS while running a backscatter.

by The Cap N' August 21, 2023

ottawa jizz rag

1. Any cloth article that has been saturated with jizz and worn for a prolonged period of time to the point that the fibers have been broken down and holes are now present. This item is usually a serious risk of infection to the wearer and others who come into contact with it.

2. A Snuggy.

Karl has been in quarantine for two weeks. He's not sick but, if he keeps wearing that Ottawa jizz rag, he will be.

by The Cap N' August 10, 2020

pink veal

An inferior type of veal that doesn't compare to milk fed pure white veal in either flavor or tenderness.

Out here they got that pink veal... Slide over honey... Now pink veal you could pound that shit for two days. It'll never ever get tender you know what I mean?

by The Cap N' April 13, 2021

apache firestarter

Rubbing ones palms together vigorously with at least four fingers of each hand inserted into your partner's anus or vagina in an effort to stimulate an orgasm.

I finished up but, was having trouble getting that loose hole hot so I hit it with the ol' Apache Firestarter and they came like a first class package. Beat up and late.

by The Cap N' July 21, 2020

OSSOEFKSAOSS

1. Operation Spartan Shield (OSS), Operation Enduring Freedom, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and OSS again without ever having your unit in the same place for the same unified effort so as not to mass force and be effective.

2. A tour in Southwest Asia that is analogous to plugging a hole in a dam with your fingers only to find it springing a leak somewhere else.

3. The worst 14 months of your life.

1. Remember OSSOEFKSAOSS when we were spread all over the place and had a scavenger hunt for those slack jawed idiots equipment?

2. Oh, by the way, before you go home from OSSOEFKSAOSS, you're going to have to quarantine for two weeks after quarantining for two weeks after living in an isolated population where you quarantined for two weeks.

3. OSSOEFKSAOSS was the worst deployment of my life.

by The Cap N' May 19, 2021

kick-start the dog

1. The act of tucking one's semi-erect penis behind their leg and then kicking that leg rearward in order to stimulate a fuller erection.

2. Tucking ones fully erect penis behind their leg and forcefully hiking that leg rearward in order to smack a woman performing fellatio under the chin.

1. I was taking a shower and sprang a semi so I used some hair conditioner to kick-start the dog.
2. Your ex-girlfriend kept talking while giving the weakest head I've ever received so I kick-started the dog and smacked that bitch in the face.

by The Cap N' June 19, 2020

Ghetto life insurance

When you're life is so meaningless you go out of your way to get killed by the police or a city bus in the hopes that your surviving family who wants nothing to do with your sorry ass anyways will get half the money the courts award you at the taxpayers expense. The other half goes to the lawyers and Al Sharpton.

Yeah... He was a gud boy. He was get 'n his life back together. He was going to community college and trying to record his rhymes. He dindu nuff 'n and the police shot 'em. He goan git fat ghetto life insurance doh...

by The Cap N' May 19, 2021