The Bard of Anon's definitions

freeze the tortoise

To stop a conversation, because a) someone has said something incredibly awkward and/or disturbing or b) the conversation is inevitably leading that way.

When Mikey told me to "guard my carnal treasure" it really froze the tortoise.

by The Bard of Anon May 18, 2005

ert

A replacement for "lol" on AIM, meaning a small giggle, instead of actually laughing out loud, which nobody really does.

A: ...and that's how I woke up with a drunk panda.
B: ert
A: pretty funny, huh?
B: not really.

by The Bard of Anon May 18, 2005