Definitions by The Bard of Anon

freeze the tortoise 

To stop a conversation, because a) someone has said something incredibly awkward and/or disturbing or b) the conversation is inevitably leading that way.

When Mikey told me to "guard my carnal treasure" it really froze the tortoise.

freeze the tortoise by The Bard of Anon May 18, 2005

ert 

A replacement for "lol" on AIM, meaning a small giggle, instead of actually laughing out loud, which nobody really does.

A: ...and that's how I woke up with a drunk panda.
B: ert
A: pretty funny, huh?
B: not really.

ert by The Bard of Anon May 18, 2005