15 definitions by Terio Marin
The feeling you get when the world turns to shit and you search all around and Barack Obamas not found.
DONALD TRUMP: ""We have to be much smarter, or it's never, ever going to end."
LOGIC: (looking over a picture of Obama and Bono smiling on a two person bicycle in the Bahamas and a simultaneaous picture of Donald Trump and Steve Bannon ogling a big red button) "I'm overcome with obandonment."
LOGIC: (looking over a picture of Obama and Bono smiling on a two person bicycle in the Bahamas and a simultaneaous picture of Donald Trump and Steve Bannon ogling a big red button) "I'm overcome with obandonment."
by Terio Marin April 23, 2017
When a douchy, moccasin wearing, cool bearded hipster dude and his equally douchy girlfriend named Kale, who breastfeeds a baby that's not hers, can't find an organic product at the supermarket and they go apeshit.
Trader Joe's at night, probably on Earth Day. DOUCHY FEMALE BREASTFEEDING BABY THAT'S NOT HERS: (flabbergasted) "What the fuck? Where's the organic quinoa? There's no organic quinoa! HIPSTER DUDE: (Screaming effeminately at a Trader Joe's crewman ) "Where's the organic quinoa? This is the 21st century, they don't have these problems in Canada man." LOUDSPEAKER : "Organic panic aisle 3, I repeat, Organic panic aisle 3. Prepare for inevitable hissy fit, words of entitlement , and of course, vote for Bernie discourse.
by Terio Marin May 24, 2016
When she has something stuck in her teeth and the only way to get it out is by rubbing your dick on it.
Marco notices something awry. Marco, "Hey Erin, you got some fucking cilantro stuck in your teeth. You mind if I use my dick to rub it out." Erin, "You mean an Alabama flossing, I thought you'd never ask."
by Terio Marin May 14, 2016
When you wake up in a Mexican jail cell with your asshole on fire and a failed clown, a masked luchadore, and your 7th grade gym teacher from twenty years ago smile creepily at you.
Marco wakes up confused by his surroundings. MARCO: " Oh my god, I'm in jail and my asshole is on fire." The Failed clown toots his clown horn twice. FAILED CLOWN: "Congratulations... you've just experienced an Alabama goat rope. And you're in Mexico." MARCO: "Is that Mr. Hines, my 7th grade gym teacher? FAILED CLOWN: " Yes, he's the reason for your burning asshole." A masked luchadore squeezes the clown horn. Everyone laughs...except Marco.
by Terio Marin June 20, 2016
A hybrid, progressive form of "first come first serve" where the second person literally gets the short end of the stick and has to swallow.
OVERCONFIDENT GUY: "Alright ladies, I'll be in the break room waiting. Remember it's first come second swallow." Overconfident guy pretends to fire his make believe guns at the two girls then walks away with a dumb grin on his face. Girl #1 turns to her friend. GIRL #1: "More like, last one in tastes the rotten eggs." The girls laugh and high five... missing each other's hand of course.
by Terio Marin May 29, 2016
Waiting in line at Walmart, hiked up on on ephedrine, purchasing more ephedrine for your girlfriend's weight loss ambitions and eyeballing a fine little Philly walking past your eyeballs hoping your girlfriend's body is as fine as hers... turns out it's your sister.
The Walmart cashier notices a sweaty, angst-ridden man ogling a woman. Cashier: "That'll be $16.37 for your ... (Cashier puts up her hands and makes air quotes) ... sinus medicine." The angst-ridden man continues to visually have sex with the woman. The woman turns around and sees the angst-ridden man. Woman: "Hi Marco, where's mom is she waiting on the car? Cashier: " Whoo-wee, that's some shit! Marco you checked out that ass like it's passing out five dollar EBT cards, you in a Alabama State of Mind!
by Terio Marin May 16, 2016
Remember those hash browns from McDonald's last night?
Nah bro, I don't 'member was totallystoned. I was hash browned.
Nah bro, I don't 'member was totallystoned. I was hash browned.
by Terio Marin August 2, 2016