A failed attempt by a Mexican man to satisfy his lust for Asian girls by offering free Wi-Fi, anime cartoon portraits, fish tacos, and a free Pikachu pokemon card because "those" Asian girls will just not show up.
ERIN: "So let me get this straight. Tonight, you want me to refer to you as Mar Co?" MARCO: "Yes, that is my Asian name. I'm gonna get all drunk and slanty eyed at Otaku Tuesday."
When you wake up in a Mexican jail cell with your asshole on fire and a failed clown, a masked luchadore, and your 7th grade gym teacher from twenty years ago smile creepily at you.
Marco wakes up confused by his surroundings. MARCO: " Oh my god, I'm in jail and my asshole is on fire." The Failed clown toots his clown horn twice. FAILED CLOWN: "Congratulations... you've just experienced an Alabama goat rope. And you're in Mexico." MARCO: "Is that Mr. Hines, my 7th grade gym teacher? FAILED CLOWN: " Yes, he's the reason for your burning asshole." A masked luchadore squeezes the clown horn. Everyone laughs...except Marco.
Wearing expensive clothes with a shitty body is like hiding your shitty iPhone 3 with a 5 case.
Erin: "Wow! Lookit that girl wearing Oscar De La Renta!"
Marco: "Muffin top, spider veins, and a Spock ear... clearly, it's a five case on a three . "
In human terms, a dike is a long narrow hole dug into to divert water. In lesbionic terms, when a lesbian, especially a Bulldyke, has another person (drink the water), or in laywoman's terms, charms another to let her dig into that hole... and flick that bean in the process of course.
In the hot sun, two prisoners in orange jumpsuits dig a trench. BEANIE: "Gosh it's so hot. I'm sweaty and wet all over." BULLDYKE: "Wet is good. Even better when we get into that long narrow hole ." BEANIE: "It sounds like you just served up a hot glass of dike water." BULLDYKE: "Busted... again." Bulldyke laughs, snorts, burps, then farts.
A hybrid, progressive form of "first come first serve" where the second person literally gets the short end of the stick and has to swallow.
OVERCONFIDENT GUY: "Alright ladies, I'll be in the break room waiting. Remember it's first come second swallow." Overconfident guy pretends to fire his make believe guns at the two girls then walks away with a dumb grin on his face. Girl #1 turns to her friend. GIRL #1: "More like, last one in tastes the rotten eggs." The girls laugh and high five... missing each other's hand of course.
When a female lovingly "hovers" above a toilet seat pissing all over it in the process.
MARCO: "Hey Misses Pippi, thanks for the hot yellow urine I just sat on and the stale lingering Cheerio smell." MISSES PIPPI: " It's got electrolytes."
When some drunk bastard, inconsiderate asshole child/teenager, or relative from the 49th least educated state in the union pisses on your toilet seat ruining either a good shit or the reason why you call the bathroom your masturbatory.
Colonal Mustard in the masturbatory with a candlestick. COLONAL MUSTARD: (yelling) "I do believe there is a rapscallion in our midst for there is a Alabama Mississippi here on my porcelain pissoir. Mr. Green or the Butler must be the perpetrators of this travesty!"