Ste Crayston's definitions

Baby weight

The excess weight a women continues to carry after giving birth.

"Rich your mum looks well fat!"

"Yeah its her baby weight"

"She had my kid 2 years ago! Tell that bitch to get down the gym"

by Ste Crayston November 29, 2006

Houdini Darren Delight

Similar to the houdini cheesecake except your mate runs out the closet and bums you. All gay men are called Darren hence the name of this rather cynical surprise act.

"Darren you twat, can't believe you tried the Houdini Darren Delight on me. It's a good thing you are a soft arse otherwise you may have overpowered and bummed me!"

by Ste Crayston March 3, 2007

Baywatch Fuck

During sex one must act the whole time like they are in an episode of Baywatch. Things to do in order to be effective at this include -

* Running in slow-mo to the bed
* Actually fucking in slow mo
* Stopping midsex for a muscle posedown with a mirror
* Demanding to be refered to as "The Hoff" during sex
* Oiling oneself before and after sex, and if possible during.
* Sticking your dick far up her ass, claiming you are probing for any nuclear devices if she complains.
* Come on her face, say its good sunblock and then highlight the dangers of skin cancer

Had a baywatch fuck last nite, i just wanted to piss your mum off.

by Ste Crayston June 19, 2006

Houdini Chocolate Surprise

Similar to the Houdini Cheesecake except when your mate comes out the closet he throws a bowl of chocolate ice cream, preferably with spinkles, in the girls face.

"Hey dude good job with the Houdini chocolate surprise last nite, your mum was well shocked."

by Ste Crayston June 20, 2006

Merlin's beard

When having sex with a young lady one withdraws his love staff at the point of ejaculation and sprays his love muck on the lady's chin. The jizz should start to hang down off the chin, creating a rather fetching white beard look, similar to Merlin's.

"Hey guess what Rich, I did a Merlin's beard on your mum last night!"

"Oh right I just thought she hadn't shaved!"

by Ste Crayston December 7, 2006

Houdini Marvel Omnibus

Similar to the Houdini Cheesecake except this requires more people to burst into the room at the vital moment and do one of the following whilst preferable in appropriate fancy dress:

* Spiderman - do the spiderman to the girl, not forgettting the catchphase "Go web go!"
* Thor - Fling spunk on the lady off a hammer whilst proclaiming loudly "I am mighty Thor"
* Hulk - Give the girl a Houdini cheesecake and say "Puny Human"
* Thing - Same as the Hulk above except the catchphrase is "Its clobbering time"
* Wolverine - Flick spunk onto the lady from 3 fingers and growl loudly
* Daredevil - Backflip into the room and whip the girls ass with any form of whip/rope
* Captain America - Burst in and throw any shield shaped object at the lady before singing the USA national anthem with your hand on your heart

For this to be valid there must be a minimum of 3 characters that take part.

"Lads, that Houdini Marvel Omnibus stunt last nite was class, Dan's mum totally didn't expect it!"

"Yeah good job. I just need to get this green paint off. Next time someone else can be The Hulk"

by Ste Crayston March 28, 2007

Meet the Arabs

A phrase used to describe when one is going to the toilet to have a shit.

It means that the person "Mustafa crap"

"Where you off to?"

"Just going to meet the Arabs"

by Ste Crayston November 29, 2006