Ste Crayston's definitions

Merlin's beard

When having sex with a young lady one withdraws his love staff at the point of ejaculation and sprays his love muck on the lady's chin. The jizz should start to hang down off the chin, creating a rather fetching white beard look, similar to Merlin's.

"Hey guess what Rich, I did a Merlin's beard on your mum last night!"

"Oh right I just thought she hadn't shaved!"

by Ste Crayston December 7, 2006

Belgrano bitch

When a girl has had so many blokes she will end up being known as a Belgrano bitch because so many men have gone down on her

I've fucked your Mum but so has everybody, after all she is a Belgrano bitch.

by Ste Crayston June 19, 2006

Baby weight

The excess weight a women continues to carry after giving birth.

"Rich your mum looks well fat!"

"Yeah its her baby weight"

"She had my kid 2 years ago! Tell that bitch to get down the gym"

by Ste Crayston November 29, 2006

Silver Wings

In the wings system these are awarded for having sex with a disabled person.

Got my silver wings last nite, i was hammered!

by Ste Crayston June 19, 2006

Houdini Chocolate Surprise

Similar to the Houdini Cheesecake except when your mate comes out the closet he throws a bowl of chocolate ice cream, preferably with spinkles, in the girls face.

"Hey dude good job with the Houdini chocolate surprise last nite, your mum was well shocked."

by Ste Crayston June 20, 2006

Fire one in her

To describe the act of screwing a lady.

"Guess what Dan I met your mum last night. Ended up taking her back to the supermarket toilets to fire one in her"

"No wonder she was walking funny Steve, I thought she had just been drinking again"

by Ste Crayston August 25, 2007

Baywatch Fuck

During sex one must act the whole time like they are in an episode of Baywatch. Things to do in order to be effective at this include -

* Running in slow-mo to the bed
* Actually fucking in slow mo
* Stopping midsex for a muscle posedown with a mirror
* Demanding to be refered to as "The Hoff" during sex
* Oiling oneself before and after sex, and if possible during.
* Sticking your dick far up her ass, claiming you are probing for any nuclear devices if she complains.
* Come on her face, say its good sunblock and then highlight the dangers of skin cancer

Had a baywatch fuck last nite, i just wanted to piss your mum off.

by Ste Crayston June 19, 2006