Ste Crayston's definitions

Merlin's beard

When having sex with a young lady one withdraws his love staff at the point of ejaculation and sprays his love muck on the lady's chin. The jizz should start to hang down off the chin, creating a rather fetching white beard look, similar to Merlin's.

"Hey guess what Rich, I did a Merlin's beard on your mum last night!"

"Oh right I just thought she hadn't shaved!"

by Ste Crayston December 7, 2006

Houdini Darren Delight

Similar to the houdini cheesecake except your mate runs out the closet and bums you. All gay men are called Darren hence the name of this rather cynical surprise act.

"Darren you twat, can't believe you tried the Houdini Darren Delight on me. It's a good thing you are a soft arse otherwise you may have overpowered and bummed me!"

by Ste Crayston March 3, 2007

snowy valley

To do a line of cocaine out of a girls back crevice. This is best done before or during sex.

"I was fucking your mum all night mate, after having a snowy valley i was just awake and couldn't stop pounding her"

by Ste Crayston November 2, 2006

back door boogie

Either -

a) Someone who ditches his mates early on a night is doing a back door boogie

b) A method of sneaking in clubs, thus avoiding paying the extortionate enterance fees, by kicking in the fire door and running straight into the middle of the dance floor so you cannot be spotted by the meathead bouncers.

"Dude i cannot be arsed paying £10 to get in here tonight"

"Fire door round the back, lets do a back door boogie"

by Ste Crayston June 23, 2006

Double Shift

To have sex with a one night stand in the morning as well as the night before.

"Dude I did a double shift last night cos she was an awesome fuck"

"Hey thats my mum you're talking about dickhead"

by Ste Crayston November 2, 2006

Baywatch Fuck

During sex one must act the whole time like they are in an episode of Baywatch. Things to do in order to be effective at this include -

* Running in slow-mo to the bed
* Actually fucking in slow mo
* Stopping midsex for a muscle posedown with a mirror
* Demanding to be refered to as "The Hoff" during sex
* Oiling oneself before and after sex, and if possible during.
* Sticking your dick far up her ass, claiming you are probing for any nuclear devices if she complains.
* Come on her face, say its good sunblock and then highlight the dangers of skin cancer

Had a baywatch fuck last nite, i just wanted to piss your mum off.

by Ste Crayston June 19, 2006

Fire one in her

To describe the act of screwing a lady.

"Guess what Dan I met your mum last night. Ended up taking her back to the supermarket toilets to fire one in her"

"No wonder she was walking funny Steve, I thought she had just been drinking again"

by Ste Crayston August 25, 2007