Ste Crayston's definitions
"Guess what Dan I met your mum last night. Ended up taking her back to the supermarket toilets to fire one in her"
"No wonder she was walking funny Steve, I thought she had just been drinking again"
"No wonder she was walking funny Steve, I thought she had just been drinking again"
by Ste Crayston August 25, 2007

Similar to the Houdini Cheesecake except when your mate comes out the closet he throws a bowl of chocolate ice cream, preferably with spinkles, in the girls face.
by Ste Crayston June 20, 2006

by Ste Crayston June 19, 2006

by Ste Crayston March 13, 2007

Worse than a fuck up a wannabe fuck up goes out their way to draw attention to the "fact" that their life is sooooo bad. They tell you all their "problems" which are not really that bad and blame any failure or error on their part on their past. They make public displays of sadness or stupidity and want the world to know how "hard" they have it. They actually want to be victims when they are in reality probably not at all. Some film examples of wannabe fuck ups are Demi Moore in St Elmos Fire, Billy Crudup in Inventing the Abbotts and Clea DuVall in The Faculty.
by Ste Crayston November 3, 2006

During sex one must act the whole time like they are in an episode of Baywatch. Things to do in order to be effective at this include -
* Running in slow-mo to the bed
* Actually fucking in slow mo
* Stopping midsex for a muscle posedown with a mirror
* Demanding to be refered to as "The Hoff" during sex
* Oiling oneself before and after sex, and if possible during.
* Sticking your dick far up her ass, claiming you are probing for any nuclear devices if she complains.
* Come on her face, say its good sunblock and then highlight the dangers of skin cancer
* Running in slow-mo to the bed
* Actually fucking in slow mo
* Stopping midsex for a muscle posedown with a mirror
* Demanding to be refered to as "The Hoff" during sex
* Oiling oneself before and after sex, and if possible during.
* Sticking your dick far up her ass, claiming you are probing for any nuclear devices if she complains.
* Come on her face, say its good sunblock and then highlight the dangers of skin cancer
by Ste Crayston June 19, 2006

When having sex with a young lady one withdraws his love staff at the point of ejaculation and sprays his love muck on the lady's chin. The jizz should start to hang down off the chin, creating a rather fetching white beard look, similar to Merlin's.
"Hey guess what Rich, I did a Merlin's beard on your mum last night!"
"Oh right I just thought she hadn't shaved!"
"Oh right I just thought she hadn't shaved!"
by Ste Crayston December 7, 2006
