Definitions by Solid Mantis

Columbian wristwatch 

A way the cartel shows you don't try to fuck them. First, they slit your wrist, then they stick your dick in your wrist to slow down the bleeding. Every few minutes they pull your dick out and "find out what time it is" then put it back before you bleed out too much. It's a slow death.

Chris tried to fuck the Colombians over so they gave him a new Columbian wristwatch.

Columbian wristwatch by Solid Mantis August 15, 2017

Colombian wristwatch 

The cartel slits your wrist then cuts your dick off and sticks it in your wrist.

The Colombians offered Mike Mike a deal, he could have a Colombian necktie or he could have a Colombian wristwatch. Mike Mike begged for the Columbian necktie but they gave him a Colombian wristwatch instead.

Colombian wristwatch by Solid Mantis August 15, 2017

Self-proclaimed asshole 

When someone knows they're an asshole, they're a self-proclaimed asshole. A self-actualized anything is someone who does not yet know who they are, they're still trying to find themselves to find out why people in the world can be well, assholes.

Everyone considered Tommy a narcissistic coward except Tommy. Tommy considered himself an asshole, or as Tommy liked to call it, a self-proclaimed asshole.

Self-proclaimed asshole by Solid Mantis August 13, 2017

sociopath bitch 

The kind of bitch that would kill your brother and sister for fun.

Does anybody know when Susan Anthony got out of prison? She is one dangerous female, she's a sociopath bitch.

sociopath bitch by Solid Mantis August 12, 2017

Sociopath bitch 

The type of bitch that would kill her own family.

Susan Anthony drowned all four of her own kids in a lake. People speculate as to whether Prozac caused it or whether she was born that way, but they were in agreement that she was a sociopath bitch.

Sociopath bitch by Solid Mantis August 12, 2017

Ufc name

A UFC name is always a name that sounds badass or heroic. You know who "the Truth" and "the Beast from Hell" are, but why isn't there a guy like Rob "da Weasel" Fallon or Brandon "the Propaganda Artist" Verone in the UFC?

Guy1-Tell the truth Brandon what's your real UFC name?
UFC fighter-Brandon "I ain't gonna even gonna lie" Verone
Guy 2-They don't call this guy "the Propaganda artist" for nothing
Brandon- No trust me, that's the name I fight as, Brandon "I Ain't even gonna lie" Verone.
Guy 1 and 2- Bullshit!

Ufc name by Solid Mantis August 12, 2017

Off the grid 

Living in a place where buses, trains, and supply lines don't run. When someone says you're on your own now Jack it's because you really are, even if your name is not really Jack.

Christy-Damn that's a nasty cut on your arm Jack, aren't you gonna go to the doctor and have them take a look at it? Oh yea, what was I thinking there's never been any buses or cabs out here off the grid.
Phil- You never cared that my name is not Jack or that I'm gonna die from this cut soon. You are the doctor god dammit I hope you know what you're doing!

Off the grid by Solid Mantis August 10, 2017