Snark Chariot's definitions

Forecasturbation

The act of working oneself into a tizzy over impending severe weather, as by a meteorologist.

The weatherman was exhausted after a weekend of intense forecasturbation.

by Snark Chariot January 21, 2011

spoiling

(v) enjoying oneself immensely, but in a calm, cool way; succeeding at life; indulging in the spoils of victory.

Q: "Hey, man — how you doing?"
A: "I'm spoilin' like a mofo, bro."

Surrounded by gorgeous women, with a Chateaubriand on his plate and a 15-year-old Scotch in his glass, the impeccably dressed, tanned and well-rested man was spoiling.

by Snark Chariot March 7, 2013

craniosphinctalectomy

(n) a complex medical procedure involving the removal of one's head from one's ass.

My good friend is having a craniosphinctalectomy today. I hope everything comes out well.

by Snark Chariot April 27, 2014

hybris

(n.) an over-the-top display or suggestion of sexual promiscuity by a female who is still a virgin. (From "hymen," the physiological mark of virginity, and "hubris," excessive pride or self-confidence.)

"The unmitigated hybris of that cheerleader is astounding."
"For a woman with no sexual experience whatsoever, she shows tremendous hybris."

by Snark Chariot August 25, 2014

house crowns

(v.) To bring home a crown, i.e., win a championship. Ascend to the throne. Reign victorious.

( INSERT SPORTS TEAM ) is in the business of housing crowns, pal.
All I do is house crowns.

by Snark Chariot August 26, 2014

Catholic vasectomy

(n.) 1. A complex non-procedure in which a wife withholds sex from her husband after the couple decided to stop having children, thus negating the need for the husband to get an actual vasectomy. 2. The most effective form of birth control ever conceived by (wo)man.

Q: Hey, man, did you get snipped?
A: Nah, my wife gave me a Catholic vasectomy instead.

by Snark Chariot September 13, 2014

masturbaficionado

(n.) a person who is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about masturbation, and invests in only the finest lubes and/or sex toys in order to achieve the highest levels of independent sexual gratification.

You may like to stroke it, good sir, but I am a masturbaficionado — I take such things seriously.

by Snark Chariot September 18, 2014