hybris

(n.) an over-the-top display or suggestion of sexual promiscuity by a female who is still a virgin. (From "hymen," the physiological mark of virginity, and "hubris," excessive pride or self-confidence.)
"The unmitigated hybris of that cheerleader is astounding."
"For a woman with no sexual experience whatsoever, she shows tremendous hybris."
by Snark Chariot August 25, 2014
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spoiling

(v) enjoying oneself immensely, but in a calm, cool way; succeeding at life; indulging in the spoils of victory.
Q: "Hey, man — how you doing?"
A: "I'm spoilin' like a mofo, bro."

Surrounded by gorgeous women, with a Chateaubriand on his plate and a 15-year-old Scotch in his glass, the impeccably dressed, tanned and well-rested man was spoiling.
by Snark Chariot March 07, 2013
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Peequilibrium

(noun) The state of needing to urinate as much and as often as you drink, with an immediacy that seems to increase with every sip; generally associated with binge-drinking over a long period of time. See also: Breaking the Seal.
After six Red Hooks, three double Jamesons, an unfortunate shot of Patron and a fru-fru drink I finished while my date was in the bathroom, I have at last achieved peequilibrium. Please escort me to the nearest hospital or detox center, thank you.
by Snark Chariot September 13, 2012
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masturbaficionado

(n.) a person who is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about masturbation, and invests in only the finest lubes and/or sex toys in order to achieve the highest levels of independent sexual gratification.
You may like to stroke it, good sir, but I am a masturbaficionado — I take such things seriously.
by Snark Chariot September 18, 2014
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Forecasturbation

The act of working oneself into a tizzy over impending severe weather, as by a meteorologist.
The weatherman was exhausted after a weekend of intense forecasturbation.
by Snark Chariot January 20, 2011
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Snark Chariot

n. an ill-tempered man-beast whose body consists not of meat, bones, and skin, but rather 185 lbs. of well-defined, fully ambulatory fat. Biting sarcasm is his paint, the keyboard is his brush, and the seedy underbelly of the Internet is his canvas. Known to have an unwieldy head of hair, poor eyesight, and hostility toward ampersands.
"I served with Snark Chariot. I knew Snark Chariot. Snark Chariot was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Snark Chariot."
by Snark Chariot February 06, 2015
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house crowns

(v.) To bring home a crown, i.e., win a championship. Ascend to the throne. Reign victorious.
( INSERT SPORTS TEAM ) is in the business of housing crowns, pal.
All I do is house crowns.
by Snark Chariot August 27, 2014
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