Definitions by Siegfried Zaga
shakedown
(n.)
Another word for extortion/blackmail, or the obtaining of a good or service through means of force, threats/intimidation, or abuse of power.
Another word for extortion/blackmail, or the obtaining of a good or service through means of force, threats/intimidation, or abuse of power.
Shakedown by force, threats and intimidation:
The Mafia would usually give small business owners "the shakedown," in which if the owner did not pay protection money (or "tribute") to the Mafia Don, their store would mysteriously be firebombed by vandals (read: Mafia thugs) who presumably would have been deterred if the owner had opted to partake in the Mafia protection plan.
Shakedown by abuse of power:
City councils are notorious for shakedowns by abuse of power. Suppose you bought a house for an inflated price of $50000, before property values started declining. The state wants to build a highway, and decides that your house is in the way. You don't want to move, but they offer you $25000 to pack up and leave. If you don't leave, the council will employ the eminent domain laws, which will simply *force* you to leave and *force* you to accept a measly compensation of $15000 (fair market value) for your property. While such practice is actually legal, it's still a shakedown, because if you don't agree to their initial unreasonable demands, you're going to be even worse off as a consequence--just like debating whether you want to drown in your own piss, or someone else's.
The Mafia would usually give small business owners "the shakedown," in which if the owner did not pay protection money (or "tribute") to the Mafia Don, their store would mysteriously be firebombed by vandals (read: Mafia thugs) who presumably would have been deterred if the owner had opted to partake in the Mafia protection plan.
Shakedown by abuse of power:
City councils are notorious for shakedowns by abuse of power. Suppose you bought a house for an inflated price of $50000, before property values started declining. The state wants to build a highway, and decides that your house is in the way. You don't want to move, but they offer you $25000 to pack up and leave. If you don't leave, the council will employ the eminent domain laws, which will simply *force* you to leave and *force* you to accept a measly compensation of $15000 (fair market value) for your property. While such practice is actually legal, it's still a shakedown, because if you don't agree to their initial unreasonable demands, you're going to be even worse off as a consequence--just like debating whether you want to drown in your own piss, or someone else's.
shakedown by Siegfried Zaga June 2, 2005
bisexual
Term used to describe people who don't particularly care who gets them off, so long as it happens as often as possible.
bisexual by Siegfried Zaga May 26, 2005
uncle ben
(n.)
Pertaining to the car tuning hobby and the gaudy aftermarket car parts industry, the name "Uncle Ben" comes from a trademark brand of rice (Asian food staple) whose namesake has been misappropriated to describe ricers/riceboys.
A recurring joke held against the ricer community is that ricers don't buy their own cars or mods; everything is either a gift from parents or is just charged to daddy's credit card--hence the appeal of the "Uncle Ben" label.
Pertaining to the car tuning hobby and the gaudy aftermarket car parts industry, the name "Uncle Ben" comes from a trademark brand of rice (Asian food staple) whose namesake has been misappropriated to describe ricers/riceboys.
A recurring joke held against the ricer community is that ricers don't buy their own cars or mods; everything is either a gift from parents or is just charged to daddy's credit card--hence the appeal of the "Uncle Ben" label.
"Hey check out Uncle Ben's Civic there. That thing's louder and more annoying than Gilbert Gottfried and it's got more stickers on it than a teenage girl's locker."
uncle ben by Siegfried Zaga May 26, 2005
Shank
(n.; v.)
1. Any crude, sharp weapon created from otherwise non-imposing objects. Screwdrivers, socket wrenches and hammers are not considered "shanks" because (a) they are not homemade, (b) they are not "crude," improvised weapons, (c) tools are inherently dangerous to begin with, and (d) none of them, with the exception of the screwdriver, are sharp objects. Shanks are created by the desperate for the purpose of stabbing, not bludgeoning.
A true shank would be something like:
- A broken piece of glass with a wrapped towel for a handle.
- A broken piece of plexiglass. Prison lunch trays are made of plexiglass, so shattering one might yield a suitable shank.
- A sharpened piece of wood, usually whittled into a stake rather than a shank, but as it is used for stabbing it is considered a shank nonetheless.
- A sharpened piece of scrap metal. Can be pilfered from just about anywhere.
2. A shank is also the U-shaped part of a padlock, or any other narrow-but-essential part of an object.
1. Any crude, sharp weapon created from otherwise non-imposing objects. Screwdrivers, socket wrenches and hammers are not considered "shanks" because (a) they are not homemade, (b) they are not "crude," improvised weapons, (c) tools are inherently dangerous to begin with, and (d) none of them, with the exception of the screwdriver, are sharp objects. Shanks are created by the desperate for the purpose of stabbing, not bludgeoning.
A true shank would be something like:
- A broken piece of glass with a wrapped towel for a handle.
- A broken piece of plexiglass. Prison lunch trays are made of plexiglass, so shattering one might yield a suitable shank.
- A sharpened piece of wood, usually whittled into a stake rather than a shank, but as it is used for stabbing it is considered a shank nonetheless.
- A sharpened piece of scrap metal. Can be pilfered from just about anywhere.
2. A shank is also the U-shaped part of a padlock, or any other narrow-but-essential part of an object.
1. "See this carrot? This carrot's raw. I'm gonna shank you, whiteboy."
2. "I can't lock this damn thing; I think the shank needs oiling."
2. "I can't lock this damn thing; I think the shank needs oiling."
Shank by Siegfried Zaga May 26, 2005
ball bat
ball bat by Siegfried Zaga May 24, 2005
Fagulous
(adj.)
To describe something as "fabulous" in a way that mocks homosexuals.
The term is used often in Bret Easton Ellis' novel "Glamorama."
To describe something as "fabulous" in a way that mocks homosexuals.
The term is used often in Bret Easton Ellis' novel "Glamorama."
Fagulous by Siegfried Zaga May 24, 2005
statutory ape
Term used to characterize an oppressive majority, set of standards, or other oppressive mainstream institution.
The term was coined by writers Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea in 1975 through the persona of Markoff Chaney, a midget struggling to understand and destroy society's oppressive managerial hierarchy in one of the books of the duo's "Illuminatus! Trilogy."
The relevant passage of the term's context is as follows:
---
The Midget, whose name was Markoff Chaney, was no relative of the famous Chaneys of Hollywood, but people did keep making jokes about that. It was bad enough to be, by the standards of the gigantic and stupid majority, a freak; how much worse to be so named as to remind these big oversized clods of the cinema's two most famous portrayers of monstro-freaks; by the time the Midget was fifteen, he had built up a detestation for ordinary mankind that dwarfed (he hated that word) the relative misanthropies of Paul of Tarsus, Clement of Alexandria, Swift of Dublin and even Robert Putney Drake. Revenge, for sure, he would have. He would have revenge...
Damn the science of mathematics itself, the line, the square, the average, the whole measurable world that pronounced him a bizarre random factor. Once and for all, beyond fantasy, in the depth of his soul he declared war on the "statutory ape," on law and order, on predictability, on negative entropy. He would be a random factor in every equation; from this day forward, unto death, it would be civil war: the Midget versus the Digits....
---
The term was coined by writers Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea in 1975 through the persona of Markoff Chaney, a midget struggling to understand and destroy society's oppressive managerial hierarchy in one of the books of the duo's "Illuminatus! Trilogy."
The relevant passage of the term's context is as follows:
---
The Midget, whose name was Markoff Chaney, was no relative of the famous Chaneys of Hollywood, but people did keep making jokes about that. It was bad enough to be, by the standards of the gigantic and stupid majority, a freak; how much worse to be so named as to remind these big oversized clods of the cinema's two most famous portrayers of monstro-freaks; by the time the Midget was fifteen, he had built up a detestation for ordinary mankind that dwarfed (he hated that word) the relative misanthropies of Paul of Tarsus, Clement of Alexandria, Swift of Dublin and even Robert Putney Drake. Revenge, for sure, he would have. He would have revenge...
Damn the science of mathematics itself, the line, the square, the average, the whole measurable world that pronounced him a bizarre random factor. Once and for all, beyond fantasy, in the depth of his soul he declared war on the "statutory ape," on law and order, on predictability, on negative entropy. He would be a random factor in every equation; from this day forward, unto death, it would be civil war: the Midget versus the Digits....
---
(n.) "For well over a year, those black kids fought the statutory ape, but to no avail--they ended up getting convicted for crimes they didn't commit."
(adv.) "I got rejected by the NBA again. Apparently geriatrics are automatically disqualified. It's statutory ape, I tell you."
(adv.) "I got rejected by the NBA again. Apparently geriatrics are automatically disqualified. It's statutory ape, I tell you."
statutory ape by Siegfried Zaga May 24, 2005