Sacredfart 's definitions
Your Honor what you found in my car was just a bunch of sugar I have never even heard of cockaine and I have nothing of the sort.
by Sacredfart May 19, 2023
Get the Cockaine mug.When you’re in the hospital for long periods of time and your ankles blow up like little balloons. This happens cause IV fluids and limited range of motion.
*it’s 3am, the unit is dark and quiet and the patient is in a deep sleep*
Patient: “what are you doing?”
Nurse: “shhh, I’m looking at your feet, go back to sleep.”
Patient: “what?”
Nurse: “you have a severe case of hospital kankles.”
Patient: “what are you doing?”
Nurse: “shhh, I’m looking at your feet, go back to sleep.”
Patient: “what?”
Nurse: “you have a severe case of hospital kankles.”
by Sacredfart November 17, 2022
Get the Hospital Kankles mug.A volunteer program for high school and college students going into medicine. But they just walk around the hallways at hospitals in a school uniform and aren’t allowed to do anything.
You (a covid patient): *starts bleeding out and like the blood squirts, the blood literally hit the ceiling fan and now is all over the room moving at a high velocity*
Health scholar: *stares at you through the window.
You: “TF ARE YOU DOING? HELP ME!!”
Health scholar: “I can’t go in covid rooms.”
Nurse: “oh god okay I’ll help you!” *looks at health scholar* “put pressure on it while I get blood.”
Health scholar: “no I can’t go into covid rooms. Also why aren’t you wearing proper PPE?”
Nurse: “CAUSE ITS AN EMERGENCY!!”
Health scholar: *writing in a binder
Nurse 2: “tf are you doing? Go get some g-“
Health scholar: “I’m writing an incident report. ‘Patient was bleeding, patient had covid, nurse was a bitc-‘“
You: *died
God: it was fucking cope health scholars fault.
Health scholar: *stares at you through the window.
You: “TF ARE YOU DOING? HELP ME!!”
Health scholar: “I can’t go in covid rooms.”
Nurse: “oh god okay I’ll help you!” *looks at health scholar* “put pressure on it while I get blood.”
Health scholar: “no I can’t go into covid rooms. Also why aren’t you wearing proper PPE?”
Nurse: “CAUSE ITS AN EMERGENCY!!”
Health scholar: *writing in a binder
Nurse 2: “tf are you doing? Go get some g-“
Health scholar: “I’m writing an incident report. ‘Patient was bleeding, patient had covid, nurse was a bitc-‘“
You: *died
God: it was fucking cope health scholars fault.
by Sacredfart May 12, 2023
Get the Cope health scholars mug.This thing that hospital admin makes people do sometimes where we “need” to take valuable time out of our work day to narc on people not washing their hands efficiently.
Me writing one if I actually filled them out: “so I stalkerishly followed a nurse into the bathroom and while I was pretending to take a piss I was actually singing happy birthday in my head to see how long she washed her hands for. And I got to that 🎶🎶 “happy birthday dear fuck you” 🎶🎶🎶 but I didn’t quite get to that last “happy birthday to you” verse.
Signed, my hand hygiene audits of April 4th 2023
Signed, my hand hygiene audits of April 4th 2023
by Sacredfart April 4, 2023
Get the Hand hygiene audits mug.Me: *doing some shit I’m not supposed to be doing.*
Me: *stops suddenly.*
Friend: “are you okay?”
Me: “yeah there’s a narc behind me.”
Friend: “oh you mean-“
Me: “shut the fuuuuuuck shhhhh don’t say her name, don’t make eye contact, if you say it three times in the mirror she’ll appear in your dreams and make you complete your competency checklist.”
Friend: “stop being ridiculous, she’s no narc.”
She: *walks over the admin.*
Admin: “so you’ve been watching him (friend), you have any more reports?”
She: “yeah it showed on that camera I put in his window that he was watching an R rated movie with his 16 year old brother. You have to be 17 to do that.”
Friend: “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!”
Me: “whatever I’m going home.”
Friend: “what’s wrong with you? Back me up!”
Me: “no way, you’re own fault that you didn’t listen to my narcdar.
Me: *stops suddenly.*
Friend: “are you okay?”
Me: “yeah there’s a narc behind me.”
Friend: “oh you mean-“
Me: “shut the fuuuuuuck shhhhh don’t say her name, don’t make eye contact, if you say it three times in the mirror she’ll appear in your dreams and make you complete your competency checklist.”
Friend: “stop being ridiculous, she’s no narc.”
She: *walks over the admin.*
Admin: “so you’ve been watching him (friend), you have any more reports?”
She: “yeah it showed on that camera I put in his window that he was watching an R rated movie with his 16 year old brother. You have to be 17 to do that.”
Friend: “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!”
Me: “whatever I’m going home.”
Friend: “what’s wrong with you? Back me up!”
Me: “no way, you’re own fault that you didn’t listen to my narcdar.
by Sacredfart April 4, 2023
Get the Narcdar mug.Used to represent the idea that therapy is a pyramid scheme. Basically the idea that people who need therapy go and advertise it to everyone and says vague stuff like “everyone needs a little therapy” and advertise that in schools, on TV and stuff without actually explaining what therapy is and why they need it.
Dr: “I mean chronic illness is really hard to deal with, you should try therapy.”
Patient: “no.”
Dr: “well we all need some therapy.”
Patient: “oh but that’s what they want you to think. Big therapy just says that so that they can sell more therapies.
Patient: “no.”
Dr: “well we all need some therapy.”
Patient: “oh but that’s what they want you to think. Big therapy just says that so that they can sell more therapies.
by Sacredfart April 1, 2023
Get the Big Therapy mug.Verb. To voluntarily leave the hospital or decline an ambulance (usually out of anger)
Short for “against medical advice paperwork”
Short for “against medical advice paperwork”
“The nurse was pissing me off so I was like whatever, I’m gonna ama my ass outta here and go home to see my cat.”
“I signed ama cause fuck the hospital food.”
“I signed ama cause fuck the hospital food.”
by Sacredfart September 13, 2023
Get the AMA mug.