Definitions by Sacredfart
Medical gaslighting
Just a sugar coated nice and fluffy way to say medical malpractice. Basically it’s a type of malpractice where a doctor will refuse to treat and encourage other doctors to refuse to treat a patient using the method of telling them that their symptoms aren’t real and they’re crazy.
Patient: “there’s been blood in my poop for the past week, I lost 15lbs in a month from vomiting and it’s so bad that I can’t keep myself from fainting of dehydration.”
Doctor: “well ya know, anxiety-“
Patient: “shut the fuck off with your medical gaslighting shit, actually no, I’m done playing nice, your medical malpractice and medical negligence shit.”
Doctor: “you hurt my feelings, be nicer to me.”
Patient: “shut up.”
Doctor: “well ya know, anxiety-“
Patient: “shut the fuck off with your medical gaslighting shit, actually no, I’m done playing nice, your medical malpractice and medical negligence shit.”
Doctor: “you hurt my feelings, be nicer to me.”
Patient: “shut up.”
Medical gaslighting by Sacredfart April 4, 2023
Hand hygiene audits
This thing that hospital admin makes people do sometimes where we “need” to take valuable time out of our work day to narc on people not washing their hands efficiently.
Me writing one if I actually filled them out: “so I stalkerishly followed a nurse into the bathroom and while I was pretending to take a piss I was actually singing happy birthday in my head to see how long she washed her hands for. And I got to that 🎶🎶 “happy birthday dear fuck you” 🎶🎶🎶 but I didn’t quite get to that last “happy birthday to you” verse.
Signed, my hand hygiene audits of April 4th 2023
Signed, my hand hygiene audits of April 4th 2023
Hand hygiene audits by Sacredfart April 4, 2023
Narcdar
Me: *doing some shit I’m not supposed to be doing.*
Me: *stops suddenly.*
Friend: “are you okay?”
Me: “yeah there’s a narc behind me.”
Friend: “oh you mean-“
Me: “shut the fuuuuuuck shhhhh don’t say her name, don’t make eye contact, if you say it three times in the mirror she’ll appear in your dreams and make you complete your competency checklist.”
Friend: “stop being ridiculous, she’s no narc.”
She: *walks over the admin.*
Admin: “so you’ve been watching him (friend), you have any more reports?”
She: “yeah it showed on that camera I put in his window that he was watching an R rated movie with his 16 year old brother. You have to be 17 to do that.”
Friend: “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!”
Me: “whatever I’m going home.”
Friend: “what’s wrong with you? Back me up!”
Me: “no way, you’re own fault that you didn’t listen to my narcdar.
Me: *stops suddenly.*
Friend: “are you okay?”
Me: “yeah there’s a narc behind me.”
Friend: “oh you mean-“
Me: “shut the fuuuuuuck shhhhh don’t say her name, don’t make eye contact, if you say it three times in the mirror she’ll appear in your dreams and make you complete your competency checklist.”
Friend: “stop being ridiculous, she’s no narc.”
She: *walks over the admin.*
Admin: “so you’ve been watching him (friend), you have any more reports?”
She: “yeah it showed on that camera I put in his window that he was watching an R rated movie with his 16 year old brother. You have to be 17 to do that.”
Friend: “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!”
Me: “whatever I’m going home.”
Friend: “what’s wrong with you? Back me up!”
Me: “no way, you’re own fault that you didn’t listen to my narcdar.
Narcdar by Sacredfart April 4, 2023
PTSD 2.0
A term used in the very niche community of medical malpractice victims. It stands for “providence trauma and stress disorder” because providence is a major healthcare network known for malpractice.
Me: *working at a non Providence hospital blocks away from a providence one.*
Me: “So what’s your opinion on providence, they overdosed me once cause they dosed my meds in the wrong unit of measurement, then called the cops on me when I threatened to sue and tried to frame me for first degree assault.”
Patient: “funny little story you got there, they amputated the wrong fucking leg.”
Patient 2: “yeah but did they kill your daughter? No? Stfu with your pussy stories.”
Patient 3: “hate to eavesdrop but the only reason I came here was cause providence gave me the wrong blood type after my accident, it’s actually a miracle I’m alive because they laughed at me.”
Patient 4: “okay okay but are you guys the ones with brain cancer? No, they kept saying my MRIs were normal then laughed like 4 weeks later and were like “haha it’s a prank.”
Me: “damn, PTSD 2.0 victims need a fucking support group.”
Me: “So what’s your opinion on providence, they overdosed me once cause they dosed my meds in the wrong unit of measurement, then called the cops on me when I threatened to sue and tried to frame me for first degree assault.”
Patient: “funny little story you got there, they amputated the wrong fucking leg.”
Patient 2: “yeah but did they kill your daughter? No? Stfu with your pussy stories.”
Patient 3: “hate to eavesdrop but the only reason I came here was cause providence gave me the wrong blood type after my accident, it’s actually a miracle I’m alive because they laughed at me.”
Patient 4: “okay okay but are you guys the ones with brain cancer? No, they kept saying my MRIs were normal then laughed like 4 weeks later and were like “haha it’s a prank.”
Me: “damn, PTSD 2.0 victims need a fucking support group.”
PTSD 2.0 by Sacredfart April 4, 2023
Code grayed
A code gray is the thing that they call at hospitals when they need off duty/on duty police in a room real quickly. So it’s just a more badass and insider slang way of saying you got arrested. Usually it means you got arrested in a hospital but it can just refer to getting arrested in any place where it’s a super urgent situation.
Patient: “okay okay so I was like in the ED yesterday right.”
Friend: “go on go on.”
Patient: “yeah so I was feelin all dizzy all wonky and shit.”
Friend: “yeah yeah yeah from baseline tachycardia?”
Patient: “yeah but like the PA comes in right and this mfer went on about tellin me that my dizziness be from a drug that I just did like half a titration on and shit.”
Friend: “ohhh that’s a misdiagnosis.”
Patient: “yeah like that that mfer ain’t even read an EKG like she ain’t even see that I was experiencing SVT rhythm and she ain’t even look at the P wave orrrr the T wave.”
Friend: “that’s cap cause you can miss the T wave but the P wave? What bullshit.”
Patient: “oh wait there’s more.”
Friend: “lemme guess, a trough proved their bullshit.”
Patient: “nahhhh these mfers refused to run a trough but the fucked thing is that I had a trough prior to titration and it was at a 7.”
Friend: “no fuckin wayyyy, these mfers full of shit.”
Patient: “yeah so I beat the shit outta the PA and then I got code grayed.”
Friend: “go on go on.”
Patient: “yeah so I was feelin all dizzy all wonky and shit.”
Friend: “yeah yeah yeah from baseline tachycardia?”
Patient: “yeah but like the PA comes in right and this mfer went on about tellin me that my dizziness be from a drug that I just did like half a titration on and shit.”
Friend: “ohhh that’s a misdiagnosis.”
Patient: “yeah like that that mfer ain’t even read an EKG like she ain’t even see that I was experiencing SVT rhythm and she ain’t even look at the P wave orrrr the T wave.”
Friend: “that’s cap cause you can miss the T wave but the P wave? What bullshit.”
Patient: “oh wait there’s more.”
Friend: “lemme guess, a trough proved their bullshit.”
Patient: “nahhhh these mfers refused to run a trough but the fucked thing is that I had a trough prior to titration and it was at a 7.”
Friend: “no fuckin wayyyy, these mfers full of shit.”
Patient: “yeah so I beat the shit outta the PA and then I got code grayed.”
Code grayed by Sacredfart April 1, 2023
Big Therapy
Used to represent the idea that therapy is a pyramid scheme. Basically the idea that people who need therapy go and advertise it to everyone and says vague stuff like “everyone needs a little therapy” and advertise that in schools, on TV and stuff without actually explaining what therapy is and why they need it.
Dr: “I mean chronic illness is really hard to deal with, you should try therapy.”
Patient: “no.”
Dr: “well we all need some therapy.”
Patient: “oh but that’s what they want you to think. Big therapy just says that so that they can sell more therapies.
Patient: “no.”
Dr: “well we all need some therapy.”
Patient: “oh but that’s what they want you to think. Big therapy just says that so that they can sell more therapies.
Big Therapy by Sacredfart April 1, 2023
B52
When you’re all combative in the hospital we give this drug (B52) to you to knock you the fuck out. It’s a great nap until you wake up. B52 is also the most epic drug name ever and it really gets the point across.
Patient: “yoooo guess what?”
Other patient: “what?”
Patient: “remember that one code gray at around 7pm on march 22nd in the pediatric ED in room 1?”
Other patient: “ummm what did you do?”
Patient: “beat the shit outta the doctor for being a doctor, got B52 and everything.”
Other patient: “haha dope.”
*fistbump*
Other patient: “what?”
Patient: “remember that one code gray at around 7pm on march 22nd in the pediatric ED in room 1?”
Other patient: “ummm what did you do?”
Patient: “beat the shit outta the doctor for being a doctor, got B52 and everything.”
Other patient: “haha dope.”
*fistbump*
B52 by Sacredfart March 30, 2023