Also known as MPD. This is a disorder occurring in children or adolescents that transition from a Montessori school to a traditional school. There are 2 types.

Symptoms:
- lack of understanding social cues
- lack of math skills
- lack of general content knowledge (ie history, science)
- difficulty making friends

- trauma
- Type 1 specific symptoms: aggressive and or violent patterns of behavior, anger issues, overly literal thinking
- Type 2 specific symptoms: social withdrawal, social anxiety, overly abstract thinking

Treatment: rehab

Outlook: patients usually make a full recovery within 3-6 years if they have proper interventions.
Psychologist: “I’m so sorry I have to have this conversation today, I always hate telling such devastating news to parents.”

Parent: “does my kid have brain AIDS?”

Psychologist: “worse, your son suffers from Montessori Personality Disorder, my condolences.”
by Sacredfart February 19, 2023
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Theater adults

Theater kids but with more drugs. They’re easily spotted using the following criteria:
- they often suffer from main character syndrome

- they are well over the age of 18
- They’re that one group of loud white people at every bar
- They’re very passionate about issues
Person: “thank you for picking me up very quickly, I just needed to get outta that situation.”

Uber: “you’re welcome. Was it a dangerous situation? Do I need to report anything?”

Person: “no, there was just a lot of theater adults there and they sucked the energy outta my mind and body.”

Uber: “oh no I’m so sorry.”
by Sacredfart February 19, 2023
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Code Three

Code 3 are a series of hospital codes that basically mean “other specified emergency.” The exact codes vary by hospital but they most commonly include:

- anesthesia: surgery fuck up
- IV therapy: emergency meds needed
- stroke activation team: self explanatory

- blood bank: self explanatory

- EKG: cardiac arrhythmia emergency

- echo: other cardiac emergency

- laboratory: emergency diagnostics
- House nurse: CPR team on standby
- Star: severe injury acquired in the hospital
Me : *going into surgery* “Damn I’m real nervous.”

Nurse: “well don’t be, surgical mistakes are almost unheard of in this hospital.”

Intercom: “code three, anesthesia.”

Me: “well fuck.”
by Sacredfart June 18, 2023
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Medical gaslighting

Just a sugar coated nice and fluffy way to say medical malpractice. Basically it’s a type of malpractice where a doctor will refuse to treat and encourage other doctors to refuse to treat a patient using the method of telling them that their symptoms aren’t real and they’re crazy.
Patient: “there’s been blood in my poop for the past week, I lost 15lbs in a month from vomiting and it’s so bad that I can’t keep myself from fainting of dehydration.”
Doctor: “well ya know, anxiety-“
Patient: “shut the fuck off with your medical gaslighting shit, actually no, I’m done playing nice, your medical malpractice and medical negligence shit.”
Doctor: “you hurt my feelings, be nicer to me.”
Patient: “shut up.”
by Sacredfart April 04, 2023
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Code grayed

A code gray is the thing that they call at hospitals when they need off duty/on duty police in a room real quickly. So it’s just a more badass and insider slang way of saying you got arrested. Usually it means you got arrested in a hospital but it can just refer to getting arrested in any place where it’s a super urgent situation.
Patient: “okay okay so I was like in the ED yesterday right.”
Friend: “go on go on.”
Patient: “yeah so I was feelin all dizzy all wonky and shit.”
Friend: “yeah yeah yeah from baseline tachycardia?”
Patient: “yeah but like the PA comes in right and this mfer went on about tellin me that my dizziness be from a drug that I just did like half a titration on and shit.”
Friend: “ohhh that’s a misdiagnosis.”
Patient: “yeah like that that mfer ain’t even read an EKG like she ain’t even see that I was experiencing SVT rhythm and she ain’t even look at the P wave orrrr the T wave.”
Friend: “that’s cap cause you can miss the T wave but the P wave? What bullshit.”
Patient: “oh wait there’s more.”
Friend: “lemme guess, a trough proved their bullshit.”
Patient: “nahhhh these mfers refused to run a trough but the fucked thing is that I had a trough prior to titration and it was at a 7.”
Friend: “no fuckin wayyyy, these mfers full of shit.”
Patient: “yeah so I beat the shit outta the PA and then I got code grayed.”
by Sacredfart April 01, 2023
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Coded

When someone stops breathing and they’re fucked.
We had to call an ambulance at school today cause some chick coded, crazy shit.
by Sacredfart December 18, 2022
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PTSD 2.0

A term used in the very niche community of medical malpractice victims. It stands for “providence trauma and stress disorder” because providence is a major healthcare network known for malpractice.
Me: *working at a non Providence hospital blocks away from a providence one.*
Me: “So what’s your opinion on providence, they overdosed me once cause they dosed my meds in the wrong unit of measurement, then called the cops on me when I threatened to sue and tried to frame me for first degree assault.”
Patient: “funny little story you got there, they amputated the wrong fucking leg.”
Patient 2: “yeah but did they kill your daughter? No? Stfu with your pussy stories.”
Patient 3: “hate to eavesdrop but the only reason I came here was cause providence gave me the wrong blood type after my accident, it’s actually a miracle I’m alive because they laughed at me.”
Patient 4: “okay okay but are you guys the ones with brain cancer? No, they kept saying my MRIs were normal then laughed like 4 weeks later and were like “haha it’s a prank.”
Me: “damn, PTSD 2.0 victims need a fucking support group.”
by Sacredfart April 04, 2023
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