Ritards Future Father's definitions

Ritard

I am going to name my son this to ruin his life.

Substitute teacher doing attendance: Ri-tard

Whole class: *laughs in order to shame Ritard*

Ritard: I hate you dad you ruined my life *he pulls out a gun to end his life*

Guy 1 "Hey Ritard what's it like to live a life of shame and anguish?"

Ritard *makes ritard noise like a pokemon*

by Ritards Future Father August 4, 2023

Denver water pipe

The act of turning a girls asshole and vagina into a bong. This is done via the act of urinating into a girls asshole, poking a metal straw or the like through her vagina into her asshole, and lighting pot flower in her vagina. This is done via inhaling through the asshole in order to create a human bong. Preferably done with a clean asshole and vagina, but not necessary. Consent IS mandatory.

Yo dude I heard u did the ol' Denver water pipe on Haley.

Oh yeah bro she has irreparable organ damage internal bleeding but I smoked out her asshole bro!

by Ritards Future Father October 6, 2025

Marty Grossman

A stereotype for a rotund Jewish male who is extremely hairy. This man is often described as looking precisely like anti Jewish ww2 propaganda. Often with a very pointed long nose, and a background in either it, law, finance, or medicine such as podiatry. This man can speak with a mild to strong New York accent, and most likely has an average length penis with an extremely rotund girth that matches his physique. When walking this man tends to waddle, girating back and forth. This man could often be described as highly intelligent and charismatic, often weaseling his way into high level positions with his prowess, unfortunately this man looks like the human embodiment of a mole, and has the back hair to show for it.

Yo Brody you look like a total Marty Grossman.

Oyyy Veyy oh chutzpah the s&p is a total bear right now!

by Ritards Future Father October 7, 2025