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Reverend Pope's definitions

Scumpany

The companionship of vile and degenerate individuals.
Guy 1: Hey buddy wanna watch Shrek 2 tonight
Guy 2: Sorry man I'm thinking of visiting the emporium of sexual depravity
Guy 1: Righteous dude can I come too
Guy 2: Yeah sure bro, lord knows I could use some scumpany
by Reverend Pope November 7, 2010
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Lebanese Microwave

A stunt only done once, 50% of participants died a horrible death, the other man was in a coma for a year and can still not prevent himself shitting constantly

Two people take strong explosive laxative, the only time this was done, the laxative used was Florida Fire-Hose (laxative).

Two Microwaves are placed on a table, from a set distance the two particpants must fire their shit into their microwave, then run and heat it up for 1 minute. Points are awarded for accuracy, amount of shit, percentage in the microwave and speed.

The second half has never been taken as one man had died as his intestines also accompanied the shit into the microwave and the second man was in a coma lying in a shit spill of Hamburg Oil Spill proportions. Theoretically whoever looses has to eat the warmed liquidy shit of the other participant and not wash his legs anus or mouth for a week.
Dude: I reckon im about to fire out enough shit to fill a microwave

Playa: Want to bet?

Dude: Hell yeah, whats the bet

Playa: Lets make a Lebanese Microwave out of this shit

Dude: b-b-but those guys died doing that

Playa: Man up you pussy, what sort of wimpy Thai are you

Dude: I dont have the bollocks for that, or the shit firing power

Playa: If you can't handle the heat don't shit in the microwave
by Reverend Pope May 28, 2010
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Sunderland Leapfrog

Practice originally from Sunderland, differing slightly from the Liverpudlian Leapfrog. Commonly used as a competition to settle arguments but can be done for fun.

One Male and One Female each take equal amounts of laxative. The male proceeds to have sex with the female who maintains a leapfrog type position. After the male has reached orgasm as he is about to defecate he leaps over the female spraying her with his chocolaty insides attempting to conver large amounts of her body. This constitutes a victory for the male

The female can achieve victory if she defecates on the man before he reaches orgasm or if the man shits before finishing sex (see Hamburg Oil Spill)

The man can claim a draw if just before the woman defecates he 'plugs' her anus with his manhood
Overs: My dad is better at rimming than your dad

Overs Mum: No way, my dad is far better at rimming

Overs: Lets settle this with a Sunderland Leapfrog

Overs Mum: But you come so quickly, ill never win

Overs: Let your shit covered face be the lesson, my dad is rimming king

Overs Mum: on the plus side your ass product is rather tasty
by Reverend Pope May 28, 2010
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Florida Fire-Hose (laxative)

So named after Florida Fire-Hose (annual event)

*WARNING 66% OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE TAKEN THIS PILL HAVE DIED*

Military strength laxative, expolosive in nature, strong enough that even Chuck Norris Fears its name.

Tried only by three people, one was Alexander Litvenenko, who was given it by Russian FSB agents, and literally shat his hair off

The other two were un-named Lebanese men who tried the Lebanese Microwave, one shit out his own intestines, while the other was in a coma for almost a year and still cannot control his anal sphincter
Guy 1: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Guy 2: Would you look at that

Guy3: What is it

Guy 2: that fool just took some Florida Fire-Hose (laxative)

Guy 3: Ah thats why his intestines are coating that wall, I thought he was just some eccentric modern artist

Guy 2: Oh no he's that too, and a fag
by Reverend Pope May 28, 2010
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Florida Fire-Hose (annual event)

A town in florida is chosen after an olympics committe style choosing process.

The town spends a week collecting liquidy shit in a large vat, the Fire Hose ground collects said shit and places it in a fire hydrant

The fire hydrant along with dozens if not hundreds of fakes are placed around the town

People crowd around different fire hydrants with the hope that theirs contains the liquidy shit

At a given hour the hydrants are opened and the liquidy goodness sprays on the people who chose the right one

Who claim their prize of licking each other clean
Man 1: yeehaaaa

Girl 1: Whats that smell

Man 1: I just gone won me the Florida Fire-Hose (annual event) that liquidy goodness covered me from head to toe

Girl 1: damn, i missed it i was too busy touching my self to twilight, cooking and cleaning, the only activities females ever partake in
by Reverend Pope May 28, 2010
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Maltese Mud Cannon

A sexual practice involving usually two males, one male shoves a battery in and our of his japs eye a few times then begins to masterbate, the second takes a shit into the first guys engorged uretha. the first man continues to masterbate and jizzes out shitty man semen into the mouth of the first
Edward: Yo ek you horny?

Ek: I kinda really need a shit

Edward: Im so horny, hows about a Maltese Mud Cannon

Ek: Oh my god, that is almost the best idea ever, im desperate to slurp up the slippery shit
by Reverend Pope May 27, 2010
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Through the Joking Glass

When you start telling a joke or a story, realise halfway through that the listeners are not going to find it funny, but have already committed to telling it and feel obligated to finish.
Guy 1: A man goes into a ...(tharr be more)bar and asks for a Bulgarian Carpet Bomb...
Girl: Ewww that's gross!
Guy 1: Erm, yeah, anyway, and so, erm, the bartender...
Guy 2: Man, you are so Through the Joking Glass.
Guy 1: Shut up you Mantraitor
by Reverend Pope March 13, 2010
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