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Definitions by QuacksO

Ophiliate 

A long-term associate of Laertes' sister.
If Hamlet's fiancée had followed his fake-hot-headed advice about where to travel, she might have had the Sisters Of Mercy as her staunchest Ophiliates.
Ophiliate by QuacksO September 9, 2019
Hindrances to free trade caused by multiple scuttling of ships in a harbor or other navigational area.
In the ancient tale of Theseus and the Minotaur, the fleeing heroes used sanktions to clutter the Cretian waterway behind them and thus prevent King Minos from pursuing them.
sanktions by QuacksO September 9, 2019

just par for the curse 

Merely typical everyday run-of-the-mill profanity that one frequently hears from the potty-mouthed putters on the green --- nothing out of the ordinary.
Swearing is strictly and expressly forbidden on a miniature-golf attraction where children may be present, but on an unsupervised golfing-fairway, foul language is just par for the curse.
just par for the curse by QuacksO September 8, 2019

Keep off the grass

What a gal says to ask you not to "proceed to fourth base" --- i.e., not encroach on her "thatched" area.
If a hot chick tells you to "Keep off the grass" during intimacy, giving her a "joint of grass" might addle her brain enough to make her change her mind.
Keep off the grass by QuacksO September 6, 2019

Paperwork Reduction Act 

A bill that passed though Congress and resulted in even more forms to fill out.
You can indeed avail yourself of the effort (and carpel-tunnel syndrome/writer's-cramp!) -alleviating Paperwork Reduction Act, but naturally you first hafta fill out a whole bunch of application-forms to qualify for it. :P
Paperwork Reduction Act by QuacksO September 6, 2019

Do not write in this space 

Okay, I won't jot down any letters or numbers --- but I WILL make lots of meaningless scribbly lines and ink-smudges in it, so dat YOU can't write anything in dat space, either! PPPPTHTHTHTHPPPPPT!!!
Telling someone "Do not write in this space" on a paperwork-form is virtually a guarantee that he will seethingly scrawl all kinds of infuriated gibberish in that precious little space, especially if he is feeling resentful about having to feverishly fill out the stupid form in the first place ("Whatever happened to the Paperwork-Reduction Act?!"), just as posting a "No Smoking" sign or putting up a "Keep Off The Grass" placard often results in an INCREASE in said unwanted activity, rather than lessening it!
What any nearby listeners might be driven to from hearing horrendously-poor fiddle-playing.
Jack Benny was actually quite an accomplished musician (you have to be a good instrument-performer in order to "do well at playing poorly" --- i.e., play said instrument in a humorously-awful way that will make your listeners laugh), and so it's unlikely that any members of his audience would have felt the need to resort to violince.
violince by QuacksO September 6, 2019