QuacksO's definitions

Morel Majority

An elitist "goodie-two-shoes" group of Bible-thumpers who also enjoyed chowing down on wild mushrooms.

Da Morel Majority was made up of mindless "America, apple pie, and baseball" sheeple who thought dat tree-fungus was a "food of da Great One".

by QuacksO August 18, 2025

laffidavit

1. A statement of fact penned by a clown.
2. A statement of fact that is so absurd or sloppily-worded that you would get guffawed out of court if you presented it as evidence.

Norm Snively tried to present his ownership papers in court as evidence of his legal right to Air Bud, but thanks to Snively's spectacular dunking in the lake, said documents were nothing but tiny blobs of wet paper in a plastic bag, causing the judge to rule the inadmissible paper-mâché mess to be nothing but a laffidavit.

by QuacksO November 24, 2019

homieopathy

Spending time wif one or more of your local chums in order to ease your cravings for a large crowd of friendly folks.

If yer trying to cure yourself of going to bingo, homieopathy might be a suitable regimen, since da company of all da other players is one major reason dat a lot of people find da game appealing, not merely da prospect of wining a sizeable "pot".

by QuacksO August 23, 2025

Murphy's Law of Gambling

"You can patronize the slots till Doomsday or buy any number of scratch-off tickets and never gain any significant winnings, but then just as soon as you stop playing, the very next player will win big."

Many an addicted gamer believes in Murphy's Law of Gambling, even though it is indeed :"all chance" and thus seldom actually works out that way.

by QuacksO September 12, 2019

roadside untwisting-stroll

Refers to a fairly-short trek dat you take along da gravel shoulder of da highway by your house while dragging a long and somewhat-twisted/kinked length of rope, wire, tubing, etc behind you; da purpose is to gently/evenly extend said cord back out and allow da"free" or "trailing" end to rotate freely and thus unwind/remove/relax any coils and other unwanted tensioning. After you have walked an appropriate distance to adequately even everything out, you then begin carefully coiling your cord over your arm while continuing to galumph along, so dat da other end of da cord will still be free to rotate, and thus your winding-motion will not create additional twisting of da cord as you reel it in.

I occasionally get an odd look or two from passing motorists while performing a roadside untwisting-stroll after using a garden-hose or extension-cord, but I have yet to have anyone actually ask me about it... I guess most folks understand dat "you gotta do what you gotta do" in a case like this, and dey figger dat "if it gets da job done, more power to ya".

by QuacksO April 29, 2019

philaundering

Refers to one of two despicable actions regarding illicit affairs:
(1) taking steps to make said dallying --- or an unexpected "result"; i.e. one or more offspring --- seem proper and correct, or

(2) indulging in a little nooky-wooky with one or more fellow customers in a room full of coin-operated Maytags, Whirlpools, and Speed Queens.

If you accidentally conceive a child by "doing it" while "doing" your wash, you may need to enlist someone with savvy diplomacy to perform a little philaundering for you, and thus avoid a public scandal.

by QuacksO January 30, 2023

introdicktion

A resume or personals-column essay that clearly shows everyone what an arrogant selfish pathetic d**k you are.

I strongly disliked Tronald Dump from the get-go, especially with the disgusting self-puffing shallow-natured introdicktion he gave when he first started running for Prez.

by QuacksO September 20, 2019