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Definitions by Purplenado

cuke poke 

A cuke poke is when you give your highly slick love tunnel (vagina) a literal poke from a cucumber. Or, several pokes.
Today, I went to Publix and purchased the perfect cucumber. I could barely make it home. I slid the cucumber out of the thin, plastic bag and proceeded to give myself a WELL deserved cuke poke. Ahhhhh! Satisfaction, at long last.
cuke poke by Purplenado March 6, 2023

mysteries make my head hurt 

Mysteries make my head hurt” is a phrase uttered by retired Detective Joe Kenda of the Colorado Springs PD on his show on ID.
All the suspects have come up with alibis. Mysteries make my head hurt. We have to start from scratch. Back to the scene of the crime to question additional witnesses.

baddest of them all 

So, baddest of them all means that you are one down ass bitch. Like, the head bitch in charge. A cool head and calm demeanor. Make them transactions. Let the money flow like a vintage wine. Your look is a rich mixture of floral and street. Your eyes convene knowledge well beyond your years.
As she takes a toke of that sweet, sweet, Ghost Train Haze and a sip of her Pinot Gris wine, she exudes a cool, confident demeanor. She’s the baddest of them all.

Northernaire Motel 

The Northernaire Motel is a fleabag hotel in the city of Maplewood, MN. People go there to cheat on their spouses, do speedballs, smoke meth, and to have all night ragers. Frequently, furniture and TV’s get thrown out doors and windows. People have been known to run down the nearby highway(s) buck naked. Also, there is a nearby trailer park to buy your party drugs.
Let’s all go to the Northernaire Motel and party like a rock star.

Sweet Bob 

Sweet Bob is the sweetest man you will ever know. He is made of Blue Raspberry Hubba Bubba, Charms Super Blow Pops, pink cotton candy, fluff, and chocolate covered cherries.
Sweet Bob is SO sweet I want to gobble him up! Yummy!
Sweet Bob by Purplenado March 6, 2023

Oh, yeah, I'm bringing you to Disney World 

Oh, yeah, I'm bringing you to Disney World is, really, at the heart of it, the unfulfilled promise of an adult, usually parental figure, to bring the child somewhere exciting or new or fun, but, they never, ever, do it. Basically, narcissistic parenting.
Oh, yeah, I'm bringing you to Disney World, little Danny Boy. Definitely, we are going this summer. Tell all your little friends at school about it.

I've done so much for you 

I've done so much for you is the shit a narcissist says to you when, really, they’ve done little or nothing for you. Possibly, even fucked things up for you.
I've done so much for you Mommy Dearest says as she tells me about all the places she has brought me, all the while, she is beating the living shit out of me.