Definitions by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker
droopie goldberg
When you are having wild sex and are about to pop, you think of anything, absolutely anything to take your mind away from sex. Then you imagine Whoopie Goldberg's 'sex face' and your dick immediately becomes soft, like one of those marshmallow chicks you get during Easter.
Minnie: "Harder Mickey, harder!"
Mickey: "Oooops! I shouldn't have thought of Whoopie Goldberg."
Minnie: "... more like 'Droopie Goldberg' you fucking loser."
Mickey: "Oooops! I shouldn't have thought of Whoopie Goldberg."
Minnie: "... more like 'Droopie Goldberg' you fucking loser."
droopie goldberg by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker November 24, 2018
elevator popcorn
When you let out a long, silent fart in a crowded elevator. You wait until the elevator door closes and then say, "Hey, does anyone smell popcorn?" You smile as you hear everyone in the elevator inhale through their nostrils in unison.
Goofy: "Hey, Mick-- Garsh, what's so funny?"
Mickey: "Huh, huh! I was riding in an elevator full of people and served up some hot, Elevator Popcorn!"
Mickey: "Huh, huh! I was riding in an elevator full of people and served up some hot, Elevator Popcorn!"
elevator popcorn by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker November 19, 2018
Underwear Kisses
A Navy buddy of mine, Don Armstrong (RIP buddy) had terrible hemorrhoids-- they would bleed and make perfect doll-sized kiss marks inside his underwear.
Don's Wife: "Don! You sick fuck! Did you pay a midget to wear lipstick and kiss your goddamn underwear?"
Don: "No honey... those are from my hemorrhoids."
Don's Wife: "... you mean this is actually... blood?"
Don: "It's best to think of them as Underwear Kisses."
Don: "No honey... those are from my hemorrhoids."
Don's Wife: "... you mean this is actually... blood?"
Don: "It's best to think of them as Underwear Kisses."
Underwear Kisses by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker August 3, 2018
Bukkacne
When your significant other is squeezing a massive pimple and gets their face spackled with shooting sticky sebum.
Mickey: "Remember that huge zit on my back?"
Goofy: "Yeah, the size of a bird's egg. Why?"
Mickey: "I had Minnie bust it last night and it shot all over her face and up her nose."
Goofy: "Garsh! Like one of those Jap'nese movies-- Bukkake!"
Mickey: "More like Bukkacne!"
Goofy: "Yeah, the size of a bird's egg. Why?"
Mickey: "I had Minnie bust it last night and it shot all over her face and up her nose."
Goofy: "Garsh! Like one of those Jap'nese movies-- Bukkake!"
Mickey: "More like Bukkacne!"
Bukkacne by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker August 2, 2011
Torremolinos
A coastal resort in Spain near Malaga. Once called an 'adult's Disneyland' in the 1980's when it had a female to male ratio of 7 to 1. There were a few transvestites then.
In the 1990's Eastern-European neo-nazis moved in and the town fell into disrepair. The transvestites somehow mated successfully. Moroccans started arriving and crime went sky-high!
Today, it's FILLED with so much gay action that your asshole looks like a windsock by the time you return home. Filthy moroccans everywhere!
In the 1990's Eastern-European neo-nazis moved in and the town fell into disrepair. The transvestites somehow mated successfully. Moroccans started arriving and crime went sky-high!
Today, it's FILLED with so much gay action that your asshole looks like a windsock by the time you return home. Filthy moroccans everywhere!
"We're in T-town (Torremolinos)! I don't see any hot chicks yet... lets ask these two gentlemen walking poodles where they could be?"
Monty Python: "Torremolinos! Torremolinos!" Actually, The ones that infected Graham Chapman are probably dead now too.
Monty Python: "Torremolinos! Torremolinos!" Actually, The ones that infected Graham Chapman are probably dead now too.
Torremolinos by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker May 25, 2011