Professor Simon J. Futtbucker's definitions
When you are eating pistachios and invariably one goes in your mouth that tastes like a bucket of shit. Aka, a 'bad' one.
"Ughh! Aghhh!" Cries Mickey, spitting out green fragments.
"Garsh," Said Goofy. "What happened Mick?"
"Eeeeew. I was eating pistachios and suddenly one of them tasted... well, like shit!" said Mickey frowning.
"More like 'Shitstachios'!" Laughed Goofy.
"Garsh," Said Goofy. "What happened Mick?"
"Eeeeew. I was eating pistachios and suddenly one of them tasted... well, like shit!" said Mickey frowning.
"More like 'Shitstachios'!" Laughed Goofy.
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker July 7, 2025
Get the Shitstachio mug.Where you apply makeup on your face and then jack off while raining down tears in front of a full-length mirror.
Goofy: "Gosh Mick-- I heard that Minnie packed up her things and left you?"
Mickey: "Huh Huh! Actually, she came back, apologized and afterwards we had great makeup sex!"
Goofy: "...Is that lipstick on your mouth?"
Mickey, wiping it off nervously: "Huh huh! It must be hers!"
Mickey: "Huh Huh! Actually, she came back, apologized and afterwards we had great makeup sex!"
Goofy: "...Is that lipstick on your mouth?"
Mickey, wiping it off nervously: "Huh huh! It must be hers!"
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker May 30, 2024
Get the Makeup Sex mug.When you have a boss named Neumann, who is SO intelligent, that you can enter his office with with resolve and with a valid demand and then leave not getting a goddamned thing you wanted, but feel like he gave you the winning numbers of the lottery.
Frank Z: Returning to his office, "FUCK!"
RickO: "What's wrong Frank?"
Frank Z: "I went to Neumann's office to demand that he let me fly business class."
RickO: "Was he receptive?"
FrankZ, rubbing his temples: "Dude, all I know is he explained how it's WAY better to fly coach and that just riding in an airplane is reward enough for anyone. I walked out gushing with gratitude and positivity until I got to the hallway. How the fuck does he do that?"
RickO: "It's called the 'Neumann Mind-Fuck'. He uses it on everyone. ...Do you still have your wallet?"
FrankZ pats his empty rear pockets and screams to the ceiling, "Fuck!"
Frank Z: Returning to his office, "FUCK!"
RickO: "What's wrong Frank?"
Frank Z: "I went to Neumann's office to demand that he let me fly business class."
RickO: "Was he receptive?"
FrankZ, rubbing his temples: "Dude, all I know is he explained how it's WAY better to fly coach and that just riding in an airplane is reward enough for anyone. I walked out gushing with gratitude and positivity until I got to the hallway. How the fuck does he do that?"
RickO: "It's called the 'Neumann Mind-Fuck'. He uses it on everyone. ...Do you still have your wallet?"
FrankZ pats his empty rear pockets and screams to the ceiling, "Fuck!"
I went to speak with Neumann about a better coffee machine. Now, I can't stand the taste of coffee... What happened...?
You've just had the Neumann Mind-Fuck.
You've just had the Neumann Mind-Fuck.
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker September 9, 2023
Get the Neumann Mind-Fuck mug.When you walk past a dispenser of alcohol sanitizing agent, you squirt a nice amount into your hand and then slap it across your mark's face, yelling, "Dirtless-Sanchez!"
They can't be too pissed off, after all, you just cleaned their lips for them.
They can't be too pissed off, after all, you just cleaned their lips for them.
Goofy, spitting nails: "That fuck'in Mickey-- he done got me agin!"
Donald: "What did that goddamn rat do this time?"
Goofy: Well, when I was just walking into the Disney store, Mickey filled his hand with sanitizing gel and slapped it across my face! Then he yelled, 'Dirtless-Sanchez!'"
Donald: "I know! It burned my fucking beak for a full day!"
Donald: "What did that goddamn rat do this time?"
Goofy: Well, when I was just walking into the Disney store, Mickey filled his hand with sanitizing gel and slapped it across my face! Then he yelled, 'Dirtless-Sanchez!'"
Donald: "I know! It burned my fucking beak for a full day!"
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker March 13, 2021
Get the dirtless-sanchez mug.A fun game, where if you know you are about to have an especially revolting shit, you enclose your phone in a zip-lock bag and leave it in the bathroom you just destroyed. Close the door behind you and begin complaining that you can't find your phone. A friend or family member will eventually dial it, hear it in the bathroom and will be so smug to discover it's location that they'll just barge in to grab it, violating their nostrils when they enter.
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker September 19, 2020
Get the Shit Tag mug.When you finish an outrageously graphic masturbation session and while wiping up ropes of jizz do you discover the cover of your webcam is wide open.
HAL 9000: "...Yes Dave... I just saw you masturbate. And so did every employee at NASA."
Dr. Dave Bowman: "Hal! You are just a goddamn spank cam!"
Dr. Dave Bowman: "Hal! You are just a goddamn spank cam!"
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker October 23, 2019
Get the spank cam mug.One who sucks off robotic penises, until their mouths and other connected organs are filled to capacity with white, voluminous, vapored jizz. They then expel the electronic love fluids out of their mouth and nose into the paths of bystanders or out of their car windows, in a celebration of milking chrome, illuminated automaton cocks until they repeat the cycle a few seconds later.
(Walking through a cloud of expelled, digital spooge) "Cough, cough! Go suck your robot's cock somewhere else, you fucking robohomo!" ~ His Highness, the Dalai Lama
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker August 12, 2019
Get the robohomo mug.