Cry-ometer

(noun)

An instrument that measures the level of a person's sobbing. This is generally applied to a person who has just been through a traumatic break-up, or otherwise mentally damaging experience.

Also used to detect feminine and/or gay tendencies in humans.

From the greek "Cryometer", an instrument that measures coldness.

Jack: Dude, Jen broke up with John!

Josh: OMG! Have you seen him yet?

Jack: Yeah I was up with him all night. He was like a 10 on the cry-ometer.

Josh: Oh man, this is some heavy *^&%!

by pi@noguy December 06, 2010

. . . if only bananas were longer. . .

A conversational endpoint that you use when some little whiny worm is complaining to you and you are sick of it. Will often belittle complainer and give complain-ee a defining sense of satisfaction.

Whining little worm: Ughhhh, I got dirty snow on my Uggs, and my cell phone is broken, and things are really hard at home with my parents and ugh I'm just so stressed!

Me: . . . if only bananas were longer. . .

Whining Little Worm: *Silence*

by Pi@noguy January 13, 2011

Distraction Pretzel

A pretzel that you use to distract someone/something in order to get access to an item, i.e. laptop, car, money etc.

Jason: Hey can I use your computer?

Jen: No.

Jason: *holds out distraction pretzel, tosses it in corner*

Jen: *leaps for pretzel*

Jason: *grabs computer and quickly updates Facebook Status*

by pi@noguy January 06, 2011

Canned Peaches

Salvation. In its purest form.

Frank: Dude, I am so hungry right now.

Johnny: Canned peaches?

Frank: Yessssssss. Thank you, God

by Pi@noguy January 09, 2011