Phil Mahooterz's definitions

Alabama Cookout

When you skin and cook the creature you made into roadkill.

Redneck Friend: "What banged up your truck?"
Redneck: "I ran over a buck the other day so we're having an Alabama Cookout."

by Phil Mahooterz April 21, 2016

Sex mustache

Braiding your partner's pubic hair before giving them head.

Her pubic forest kept tickling my nose hairs because she didn't weedeat so I gave her a sex mustache.

by Phil Mahooterz April 21, 2016

Shotgun rider

When you let your girlfriend sign her name in your front passenger seat binding her ownership to it so that even if you sell the vehicle the seat will be taken out and used as a redneck lawn ornament.

Jimmy: "Hey Billy Bob, I noticed that new chair ya got in the front yard."
Billy Bob: "Yup, that's my shotgun rider's seat from my old Ford pickup."
Jimmy: "Why'd ya take it out?"
Billy Bob: "She called dibs."

by Phil Mahooterz May 26, 2015