Definitions by PhatSphoincter
Wisconsin Bread-Bowl
The act of smashing several slices of white bread into a gaping anus, and using a fist to pack the bread to the walls, creating a sort of soup bowl, and then filling it with cheese and semen. The 'bowl' is then farted out onto a table and covered with a cloche to keep warm.
Wisconsin Bread-Bowl by PhatSphoincter December 23, 2025
Oklahoma Hair Dryer
When a woman wets her hair and face, then sucks it from the back, while the man tries to dry her forehead and hair with farts
Tiffany won't be into work for a few days. I gave her the Oklahoma Hair Dryer last night and now she's got pink eye.
Oklahoma Hair Dryer by PhatSphoincter December 16, 2025
The Improvised Human-Musket
The act of eating jalapeno chili dip, sauerkraut, boiled eggs, hot links, and kimchi, then washing it down with fireball whiskey and pickle juice, and plugging the anus with a baseball. When threatened or ready to prank an unlucky fellow, use the gas and waste that has been battling it out in your GI tract to propel the baseball with breakneck speed, similar to that of a musket ball projectile.
Officer: "so how exactly did your assailant die?"
Victim: "I didn't have my carry gun on me so I had to use The Improvised Human-Musket tactic. Guess I'll have to start the 'reload' process in the morning."
Victim: "I didn't have my carry gun on me so I had to use The Improvised Human-Musket tactic. Guess I'll have to start the 'reload' process in the morning."
The Improvised Human-Musket by PhatSphoincter October 27, 2025
Gurglefart Fiasco
When you thought you could trust a fart to be low profile on a hot day, but due to your seated position it starts bubbling up through all of the creases and crevices covered in sweat, resulting in being unsure whether you've shat your pants or not
Gurglefart Fiasco by PhatSphoincter October 12, 2025
Oktoberfest Wad
A wet piece of cardboard or paper that has been left in one's rectum along with sliced sausage, yeast, and brine until it has soaked up all the moisture and turned into a large, grotesque mass.
"If my boss doesn't accept my sexual advances soon, I'll have no choice but to leave an Oktoberfest Wad on her desk"
Oktoberfest Wad by PhatSphoincter October 3, 2025
GrundleButter Keelhaul
A punishment in which an unlucky fellow is strapped to a pole or board and then held up by several men and swiped back and forth under an unwashed obese man's undercarriage, from the top of the crack to the back of the sack, marinating in the unholy 'butter' found therein.
GrundleButter Keelhaul by PhatSphoincter October 3, 2025
Bloodfart Apocalypse
1)The aftermath of having eaten too many spicy foods and pickled foods together, resulting in the kind of flatulence that is explosive, hot, humid, and/or explosive in nature, tearing hemorrhoids on the way out.
2)when one shits themselves to death after being poisoned or plagued
2)when one shits themselves to death after being poisoned or plagued
Bloodfart Apocalypse by PhatSphoincter October 3, 2025