Definitions by Patton Freakin' Oswalt

Taco Hands 

The faint, pleasant scent of lime, cilantro, and fresh onion that stays on your hands, even after washing, after you eat delicious tacos. AKA "Taco Fingers"

Let's go get tacos for lunch, so we can have taco hands for the rest of the afternoon.

Taco Hands by Patton Freakin' Oswalt February 9, 2023

Benefit of the Invite 

The small amount of political capital you gain for inviting someone to a social function who is unable to attend.

George never goes to birthday parties, but we should invite him anyway to get the benefit of the invite.

Benefit of the Invite by Patton Freakin' Oswalt September 7, 2022

MAGA-tard 

A supporter of Donald Trump.

Cracker-Barrel was full of MAGA-tards, of course.

MAGA-tard by Patton Freakin' Oswalt September 7, 2022

LinkedIn Porn 

The bottomless well of humble-brags and articles, memes, and stories that people incessantly and mindlessly share on LinkedIn - often from sources such as "Inc." or "Harvard Business Review" or some guy named Gary Vaynerchuk - and which address topics like leadership, empathy, and diversity and inclusion on an extremely superficial level.

I hate LinkedIn! I am so sick of seeing all this LinkedIn Porn with stupid quotes like "managers manage and leaders lead."

LinkedIn Porn by Patton Freakin' Oswalt March 24, 2022

Reply-Call 

When you accidentally call every member of a large group chat on Microsoft Teams instead of the single person you tried to call.

Jennae was so embarrassed that she reply-called the entire team.

Reply-Call by Patton Freakin' Oswalt September 2, 2021