Nick D's definitions

shoot blanks

To be impotent and not able to impregnate a female. Only a male can "shoot blanks".

Aaliyah: "Wait...we shout use some protection."
R. Kelly (in his mind): "Damn. I hate when they say that, it's no good with one of those. I'd better think of an excuse. Let's see..."
(out loud) "Uh...I'm shooting blanks so it's OK."
Aaliyah: "All right."
R. Kelly: "Uh...can you put on this schoolgirl outfit and pull your hair back so it looks like you're 12 instead of 15?"
Aaliyah: "OK."

(3 months later)
R. Kelly: "Shit. That didn't work, I knocked her up. Oh well, maybe she'll die in a plane crash or something."

by Nick D July 19, 2004

catch the vapors

to get smoked or schooled by someone.

You gonna be catching the vapors in your riced-out piece of shit while I smoke you in my Mazda RX7.

by Nick D May 28, 2003

stick to

To stay with or keep going to a person, place, or thing in the future.

(Sistine Chapel)
Michaelangelo: "Painting these walls is quite tiresome. I think I'll stick to the ceiling from now on."
Leonardo: "Surely you must be kidding my friend. Doing so would be quite boring and would require very strong glue. It's a long way down if you should fall, you know."
Michaelangelo: "What??? Hey, Splinter's out of town, so how about we grab some pizzas, roll up a fat doobie, and tag-team April indabutt."
Leonardo: "Right on, dude!"

(later, in their 15th century frat house)
Leonardo: "Oh...oh...OH!!!" **splat!** "Yes! Right in the eye!"
Michaelangelo: "Hey dude, I had this crazy idea. What if 500 years from now they made these giant turtles that fought crime in the likenesses of us and other Renaissance artists...wouldn't that be fuckin' crazy?"
Leonardo: "Shit man...you are WAAAAAASTED!!!"

by Nick D May 18, 2005

one on the way

Pregnant; knocked up. Means literally that "one" kid is "on the way" (will be born soon, and will consume every moment of your spare time with its endless whining). Not a good thing if you have a girlfriend/wife who is not the mother of the baby.

"Just when I thought I said all I could say, my chick on the side says she's got one on the way..." -Usher, "Confessions (Part II)"

Jerry: "Shit man, did you hear? I got one on the way."
Pete: "Awesome. It's good you stopped shooting blanks and finally knocked your wife up."
Jerry: "No...that's the problem. My wife ain't the baby's mama...your 16-year-old daughter is."
Pete: "That dirty slut. I need to get her on the pill."
Jerry: "Word."

by Nick D July 19, 2004

tore up

Extremely ugly, busted, broke down, and haggard. "Straight tore up" is the superlative form.

As Kelly fell out of the ugly tree and hit successive branches on the way down, she went from nothing to write home about to ugly to broke down to busted to straight TORE UP!

by Nick D February 10, 2004

rile up

To make a person or animal uncontrollably excited by making swift movements and yelling loudly and quickly.

Fido got so riled up the other day that he did 30 laps around the kitchen table, broke a bunch of lamps, barked so loudly that the cops, firemen, and ambulance showed up, and raped Fluffy the cat. Then they arrested him for cruelty to animals and threw him back in the mental institution.

by Nick D July 12, 2004

That's a huge bitch!

Common exclamation to indicate the presence of a severely overweight female. Probably originated from the movie "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo".

Announcer 1: "Today's WNFL game features the New York Lady Whales against the Philadelphia Cheese Hogs. The Whales, led by 6'4", 300 lb. linebacker Bertha McFatty, are looking for their 4th straight win. What do you think of McFatty's play the last few games, Norm?"
Announcer 2: "That's a HUGE bitch!"

by Nick D February 24, 2004