Nick D's definitions
1) Something given to someone when that person is leaving so that he or she may enjoy it during the trip home.
2) The act of shooting jizz in a girl's eye and then leaving quickly during the ensuing confusion.
2) The act of shooting jizz in a girl's eye and then leaving quickly during the ensuing confusion.
1)
"Say, this party is swell but my mother says I must return home by ten o'clock. It's a darn shame though, that apple juice you're serving here is terrific."
"Gee, buddy, I'm really sorry you have to leave so soon. Here, take a cup of juice for the road."
2)
The bitch was giving me a mean hummer, but I had to be going, so I shot off a couple in her mouth and then pulled out and left her with one for the road.
"Say, this party is swell but my mother says I must return home by ten o'clock. It's a darn shame though, that apple juice you're serving here is terrific."
"Gee, buddy, I'm really sorry you have to leave so soon. Here, take a cup of juice for the road."
2)
The bitch was giving me a mean hummer, but I had to be going, so I shot off a couple in her mouth and then pulled out and left her with one for the road.
by Nick D February 16, 2004
Get the one for the road mug.Little Timmy: "Hello sir, would you like some lemonade? It's only 50 cents."
Mr. Sanchez: "50 cents? You kidding me? How about 25?"
Little Timmy: "Sorry sir, no can do."
Mr. Sanchez: "Listen you little punk. You give me that there lemonade for this here quarter or you're in for a whoopin', y'hear?"
Little Timmy: "But..."
Mr. Sanchez: (kicks kid's wagon) "Listen you little shit! Give me that fucking lemonade NOW!"
Little Timmy: "You broke my wagon!"
Mr. Sanchez: "Oh I'll fix your wagon all right."
Little Timmy: "Awwwww shit nigga you done fucked up my whip, now you goin' down boy!"
Mr. Sanchez: "What the..."
(kid breaks out brass knuckles and fixes Mr. Sanchez's wagon)
Mr. Sanchez: "50 cents? You kidding me? How about 25?"
Little Timmy: "Sorry sir, no can do."
Mr. Sanchez: "Listen you little punk. You give me that there lemonade for this here quarter or you're in for a whoopin', y'hear?"
Little Timmy: "But..."
Mr. Sanchez: (kicks kid's wagon) "Listen you little shit! Give me that fucking lemonade NOW!"
Little Timmy: "You broke my wagon!"
Mr. Sanchez: "Oh I'll fix your wagon all right."
Little Timmy: "Awwwww shit nigga you done fucked up my whip, now you goin' down boy!"
Mr. Sanchez: "What the..."
(kid breaks out brass knuckles and fixes Mr. Sanchez's wagon)
by Nick D September 27, 2005
Get the fix your wagon mug.Phil: "What a rockin' club! Time to get my groove on!"
Matt: "Uh...I don't know man...there seems to be a substantial abundance of weiner in this joint."
Phil: "Whatever, I'm gonna go dance with that HOT girl over there!"
Matt: "No no wait dude, that's a..."
(Phil goes over to the "girl")
Phil: "You must be from Tennessee because there's a mirror in your pocket."
'Girl' (deep voice): "Just come here bitch!"
Phil: "Hey baby that cell phone in your pocket keeps jabbing me...let me fix that for you...wait a minute...what the...OH SHIT!!!" (runs away)
Matt (laughs hysterically)
Phil: "Damn, come to think of it, it was a little suspicious with all those effeminate guys dancing to the Village People in leather jackets."
Matt: "You grabbed a transvestite's dick, man."
Matt: "Uh...I don't know man...there seems to be a substantial abundance of weiner in this joint."
Phil: "Whatever, I'm gonna go dance with that HOT girl over there!"
Matt: "No no wait dude, that's a..."
(Phil goes over to the "girl")
Phil: "You must be from Tennessee because there's a mirror in your pocket."
'Girl' (deep voice): "Just come here bitch!"
Phil: "Hey baby that cell phone in your pocket keeps jabbing me...let me fix that for you...wait a minute...what the...OH SHIT!!!" (runs away)
Matt (laughs hysterically)
Phil: "Damn, come to think of it, it was a little suspicious with all those effeminate guys dancing to the Village People in leather jackets."
Matt: "You grabbed a transvestite's dick, man."
by Nick D February 18, 2005
Get the substantial abundance of wiener mug.The ultimate easy major in college. Getting anything lower than a 'A' in any class requires serious effort.
Professor: "Johnny, we need to talk about your coursework this semester in my Advanced International Relations 338 class."
Johnny: "Yeah, what of it, shithead?"
Professor: "Well, for your first paper, you simply wrote 'Fuck you, Professor Cockgobbler' and drew a cartoon which appeared to be me giving a...um...blow job...um...to a buffalo. For your second paper, you submitted an actual photo of you having anal intercourse with my 15-year-old daughter. On the final exam, you wrote 'I am going to brutally murder your entire extended family, seriously.' in dog shit. Then you did in fact murder them all."
Johnny: "So what?"
Professor: "This type of disrespect will absolutely not be tolerated in my class. I'm going to have to punish you by lowering your grade to an A-minus."
Johnny: "NO!!!! That's going to lower my GPA so much!"
Professor: "Well, given that you have committed such atrocities in addition to your complete lack of ambition as well as academic ability, I'd say you deserve no better than a 3.98."
Johnny: "WHAT??? How could you say such a thing? You'd have to be a severely retarded quadriplegic to get a GPA that terrible!"
Johnny: "Yeah, what of it, shithead?"
Professor: "Well, for your first paper, you simply wrote 'Fuck you, Professor Cockgobbler' and drew a cartoon which appeared to be me giving a...um...blow job...um...to a buffalo. For your second paper, you submitted an actual photo of you having anal intercourse with my 15-year-old daughter. On the final exam, you wrote 'I am going to brutally murder your entire extended family, seriously.' in dog shit. Then you did in fact murder them all."
Johnny: "So what?"
Professor: "This type of disrespect will absolutely not be tolerated in my class. I'm going to have to punish you by lowering your grade to an A-minus."
Johnny: "NO!!!! That's going to lower my GPA so much!"
Professor: "Well, given that you have committed such atrocities in addition to your complete lack of ambition as well as academic ability, I'd say you deserve no better than a 3.98."
Johnny: "WHAT??? How could you say such a thing? You'd have to be a severely retarded quadriplegic to get a GPA that terrible!"
by Nick D February 7, 2006
Get the International Relations mug.Why?
by Nick D February 8, 2003
Get the da fuck mug.by Nick D February 24, 2003
Get the crack rock mug.Dave: "Oh man I am so wasted! I was all right about 10 minutes ago, but I guess those last 10 shots must have done me in."
Sam: "Shut up bitch. You've been nursing that can of Coors Light all night. And as for that ONE shot you took, you spit half that shit up, you two-beer queer."
Dave: "Well, uh, didn't you see me do that 5-minute kegstand? Man I must have had about 20 beers there. I'm such an alcoholic I should start going to meetings."
Sam: "You mean the 10-second kegstand on the keg of O'Doul's? Man you drink like a horse with two legs."
Sam: "Shut up bitch. You've been nursing that can of Coors Light all night. And as for that ONE shot you took, you spit half that shit up, you two-beer queer."
Dave: "Well, uh, didn't you see me do that 5-minute kegstand? Man I must have had about 20 beers there. I'm such an alcoholic I should start going to meetings."
Sam: "You mean the 10-second kegstand on the keg of O'Doul's? Man you drink like a horse with two legs."
by Nick D November 11, 2003
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