Mr. Softey's definitions
The perplexing conundrums that arise from leaving evidence of a recent masturbation session laying about.
Conrad: Holy crap! We've got to go back to the apartment before Pam wakes up, I forgot I left a bunch of used kleenex by the computer!
Farnsworth: Hey, your tissue issues aren't going to make me late to work, Sgt. Spank-o-tron!
Farnsworth: Hey, your tissue issues aren't going to make me late to work, Sgt. Spank-o-tron!
by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009
Get the tissue issues mug.Disposable Visa gift cards used for the sole purpose of buying porn on the internet and not having Cornhole.com show up on your credit card statement.
<< Hey dude, you accidentally threw away your credit card.
>> Don't sweat it bro, that's just some used up MILF money!
>> Don't sweat it bro, that's just some used up MILF money!
by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009
Get the MILF money mug.Tonight's spankathon is brought to you in part by the makers of KY, and the good people at Barely Legal. With funding in part by the Kleenex corporation.
by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009
Get the spankathon mug.>> Why aren't you getting dressed? Don't you have to leave for work in 20 minutes?
<< I'm thinking of calling in gay so I can catch a matinee of "Benjamin Button".
<< I'm thinking of calling in gay so I can catch a matinee of "Benjamin Button".
by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009
Get the calling in gay mug.Josh: I'm thinking of waxing off the magic wand.
Buck: It's about time Hairy Plotter!
Josh: Silence "He who must not be wanged"!
Buck: Say what now?
Buck: It's about time Hairy Plotter!
Josh: Silence "He who must not be wanged"!
Buck: Say what now?
by Mr. Softey January 30, 2009
Get the Hairy Plotter mug.The perpetually unemployed guy at the union hall who never gets off the bench to take a job call.
The endless act of sitting has given him "Squarenuts".
The endless act of sitting has given him "Squarenuts".
Biff: You'll never guess who I saw at the hall today.
Happy: Not old Squarenuts?
Biff: Yep, has that guy ever worked?
Happy: Hells no.
Biff: Good old Squarenuts.
Happy: Not old Squarenuts?
Biff: Yep, has that guy ever worked?
Happy: Hells no.
Biff: Good old Squarenuts.
by Mr. Softey January 28, 2009
Get the Squarenuts mug.When you reverse tit fuck an Asian girl, same as a Cincinnati Bowtie, but with an Asian slant to it, if you will.
How about we head to my place for drinks and a little Cincinnati Pad Thai?
>>Me love you long time, Joe!
>>Me love you long time, Joe!
by Mr. Softey January 28, 2009
Get the Cincinnati Pad Thai mug.