5 definition by Mr. Ferrari

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A sprawled-out, over-populated, and extremely congested suburban community located in Monmouth County on the Jersey Shore, sandwiched between West Long Branch, Eatontown, Asbury Park, Tinton Falls, and Deal. While the town has some diversity, it is mostly full of spoiled upper-middle-class kids who drive their parent's cars and can't handle themselves at parties. A lot of the guys who live here are loud-mouth pussies who talk a lot of shit, and mostly all the girls are skanks. In the summertime, the neighboring shore communities of Deal and West Long Branch attract an unwelcomed seasonal migration of bennies, specifically wealthy Syrian Jews from Brooklyn, Staten Island, and Manhattan. They greatly increase the ammount of traffic congestion and car accidents in Ocean Township during the summer, because they are just about the worst drivers imaginable. Anyone who has driven in Ocean Township in the summertime knows to watch out for that Mercedes Benz S550 with New York plates going 25 mph in a 40 mph zone, because they are about to get over to the left to make a sweeping right turn at 4 mph without using their turn signal and while talking on the phone. But by far the worst thing about Ocean Township is the overly-funded, overly-equipped police force that patrols the town in mass numbers, hunting for opportunities to meet their quotas and raise revenue to help patch up the multi-billion dollar budget deficit of the State of New Jersey. Instead of fighting crime, this self-righteous suburban police force of almost 100 officers spends the day racking up tickets for traffic violations and other minor offenses that no one gives a fuck about. They mostly prey on the 15-25 age group, indifferent to the fact that most of these young people are children of tax-paying home-owners. In municipal court on Tuesday mornings, you'll probably run into at least ten people you know; and count on paying at least several hundred dollars worth of ser-charges to the state. Fuck this place. Why the hell did my family decide to live here?
Dave, Tom, Jen, and Heather got arrested in Ocean Township cause they got in a car crash with a benny on route 35 and then the cops searched their car and found a bag of weed in the trunk.
by Mr. Ferrari July 27, 2009

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Yet another TV show / film that makes New Jersey look bad. This time, MTV is the creator and Seaside Heights is the setting. Instead of filming a show about people who are actually from the Jersey Shore, they focus on the stereotypical fist-pumping, spikey-haired, roid-shooting, shirtless guidos who travel down from New York in the summer.

"MTV Jersey shore was on again last night. You see it?"


"No... I can't stand that fuckin show."


"Me neither."


"Yeah, fuck that show. If we see any film crews at the beach next summer, lets start a riot on the boardwalk."


"Now that would be a show worth watching..."
by Mr. Ferrari January 26, 2010

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An old legend that dates back to colonial times about a woman who gave birth to some kind of demonic creature. This creature was supposedly born in what is now Atlantic County, New Jersey, in a forest known as the Pine Barrens. To this day, the Pine Barrens still covers much of South Jersey, and over the years, a veriety of tales have been told about sitings of the Jersey Devil. Of course, most of these sitings were reported by good old folks who lived on the backroads, a.k.a. pineys, and of course there were never any other whitnesses. New Jersey's NHL team was named after this legend.
"You're never gonna belive this, Jim, but I saw the Jersey Devil last night. It was about 3am, I just left the Blue Marlin, I was drivin down Pitney Road, an there were these glowing red eyes comin out of the fuckin woods. It was this shadowy figure and it ran accross the road right in front of my truck and back into the woods. I swear on my life it was the fuckin Jersey Devil."

"Oh yeah? How many drinks did you have at the Marlin?"
by Mr. Ferrari July 25, 2009

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Nissan's successful attempt at designing a vehicle uglier than the Scion XB.
When I see a Nissan Cube, I get an urge to smash the wrap-around rear window so that the owner will have to go to the dealership and pay $3000 to get it replaced.
by Mr. Ferrari October 05, 2009

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Accidentally used as a stunt vehicle on the Garden State Parkway southbound lane. On Thursday July 2, 2009, an anonymous driver in a tinted-out Nissan Xtera SUV tried to arbitrarily prevent me from chaning lanes by speeding up next to me. I got in front of him anyways, and he took this as a personal offense against himself. To make a long story short, he had to be a big shot and attempt to bully me with his larger vehicle, probably because he has a small penis. As soon as he got the chance, he passed me on the right and swerved recklessly into the left lane in front of me. At this point, I was already braking, because being that I am a far superior driver, I could see that he was going to lose it. Sure enough, the big, heavy SUV didn't comply with his idiotic maneuvering. It swerved to the left, then to the right, almost hitting another car in the right lane, then swerved to the left again and slammed into the concrete divider at about 40-50 mph. I savored the awsome sound of the impact - the boom of the colliding masses, combined with the sharp crunching sound of crumpling fiberglass and plastic. The front driver-side wheel briefly rode up onto the wall, then the vehicle came back down and regained control. The wanna-be stunt man then got into the right lane and prepared to pull over, and as I passed him, my friend and I couldn't help but laugh histerically at this bone-head. An entertaining example of sheer stupidity combined with extremely poor driving ability. Combine that with a heavy, unstable vehicle, and thats a recipe for destruction and self-humiliation.
The Nissan Xtera is bulky and heavy and handles like a tank, except it doesn't knock down concrete walls like a real tank. As a matter of fact, it didn't do much of anything to the wall.
by Mr. Ferrari July 14, 2009

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