Skip to main content

Mr. Cardboard's definitions

Sex with a zombie.

When presented with a fairly fresh zombie that still has attractive characteristics, the concept of sex with said zombie occurs to you and, depending on circumstances, may become reality.

When the zombie apocalypse comes, many people will have a wagonful of zombies held captive for just this purpose, and likely be prepared to kill living people just so they can have zombie sex with them.
Dude 1: Stacey is so hot, her bod is super sweet.

Dude 2: Forget it dude, the only way you'll ever fuck her is zombie sex.
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Flag
mugGet the zombie sex mug.

irish chicken

Share definition
An accidental theoretical construct in the brain of someone who is not paying full attention to the conversation.
Dude 1: I was in O'Neills last night and there was this gorgeous Irish chick in there.

Dude 2: What's an Irish chicken?
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Flag
mugGet the irish chicken mug.

sparent

Share definition
A spare parent. A parent you could quite easily manage without for the rest of your life.

Usually people have either one sparent, but ideally no sparents until the age of 18. After this age one ought to have two sparents, but may feel as if they still need at least one of their sparents.

The maximum number of sparents a person can have is 4, when one's parents have divorced and both remarried such that one has two actual parents and two step-parents, but all of them are useless and hence spare.

The minimum number is -2, i.e. one is an orphan, under the age of 18 who really needs two parents.
"How many parents do you have?"

"2, although my dad is really a sparent."
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Flag
mugGet the sparent mug.

PA

Share definition
Ponce: Schedule a meeting through my PA.

Human: PA?

Ponce: Personal Assistant.

Human: You mean your assistant?
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Flag
mugGet the PA mug.
Theoretical construct to continue having sex with someone who is hot but lives far away and is not worth moving for, but is worth visiting from time to time for a change from all the regular sex you are getting.
Dude 1: I heard Stacey moved away to go to university, sucks for you.

Dude 2: Psh I just told her we'd have a long distance relationship.

Dude 1: I like your style.
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Flag
mugGet the long distance relationship mug.

sex keyboard

Share definition
A woman who maks highly questionable noises during sex, such that it sounds as if you are just pressing the sound effect buttons on a keyboard rather than pleasuring her.
*ooh-ooh-aah-aah*
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.

Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?

Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Flag
mugGet the sex keyboard mug.

kids toys

Share definition
Visual alarm which tells you to get the hell out of there before the girl you pulled last night wakes up.
Dude 1: How did it work out with that hottie you pulled last night, you gonna see her again?

Dude 2: No way man, once the sun came up I realised there was kids toys everywhere.

Dude 1: Yikes, no wonder she gave it up so easy.
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Flag
mugGet the kids toys mug.