50 definitions by Mr. Cardboard
A homosexual in extreme denial, since anyone who goes to jail will definitely get raped by members of the same sex.
Incarceration and capital punishment being inadequate deterrents for persons to commit crime, the thrill of being raped is the only motive.
Incarceration and capital punishment being inadequate deterrents for persons to commit crime, the thrill of being raped is the only motive.
"Hey man, I'm a businessman, I sell dope, I sell coke, I sell phet, I sell ket. I make my money the way the streets demand."
"No, you're a criminal, and we're going to fuck you until your asshole looks like a whale's blowhole."
"No, you're a criminal, and we're going to fuck you until your asshole looks like a whale's blowhole."
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
by Mr. Cardboard June 30, 2012
A woman who maks highly questionable noises during sex, such that it sounds as if you are just pressing the sound effect buttons on a keyboard rather than pleasuring her.
*ooh-ooh-aah-aah*
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.
Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?
Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.
Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?
Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
An ingenious engine design which avoids the reciprocal motion of the piston engine and manages to incorporate the suck, squeeze, bang, blow of internal combustion engines into a rotating piston.
Not a torture device of any kind.
Not a torture device of any kind.
The Wankel rotary engine is far more efficient than the latest hybrid cars, but nobody will buy one because it sounds too much like "wanker".
by Mr. Cardboard October 31, 2011
1) Someone who loves themselves so much that masturbation isn't enough self-love for them, so they publicise their imaginary greatness by appearing on reality TV shows, or failing that, add entries to definition websites describing people with their name as somehow better than everyone else. See also: narcissist.
2) Basically the same as 1) above but a narcissist who, having had their pride bruised by someone, decides it is a mature and reasonable course of action to define aforementioned person on a definition website with details of said infidelity plus various fabrications about their sexual and/or culinary desires. Someone who publicly blames their own inadequacies on someone else.
2) Basically the same as 1) above but a narcissist who, having had their pride bruised by someone, decides it is a mature and reasonable course of action to define aforementioned person on a definition website with details of said infidelity plus various fabrications about their sexual and/or culinary desires. Someone who publicly blames their own inadequacies on someone else.
I was on Urban Dictionary last night voting on the latest definitions, and I couldn't believe how many wankers there were trying to big themselves up or put someone down.
by Mr. Cardboard October 31, 2011
Cocktail, also known as a bullseye. Consists of 50% red wine, 50% red bull, though more commonly red rooster is used instead of red bull as it is way cheaper.
The best fucking drink in the world to get fucked up on, but causing you to shout incoherently at traffic - hence the name.
The best fucking drink in the world to get fucked up on, but causing you to shout incoherently at traffic - hence the name.
Dude 1: Did you just pour red rooster into your wine?
Dude 2: Yeah, it's an angry tramp. Try some.
Dude 1: (tries drink) wow, that's fuckin awesome. Can I have one?
(2 hours later)
Dude 1: fuckin... CARS! I'll give you... somethin to beep about. Yeah BEEP BEEP. I remember, I was... This way? Yes.
Dude 2: Yeah, it's an angry tramp. Try some.
Dude 1: (tries drink) wow, that's fuckin awesome. Can I have one?
(2 hours later)
Dude 1: fuckin... CARS! I'll give you... somethin to beep about. Yeah BEEP BEEP. I remember, I was... This way? Yes.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Before hiding the sausage, any man worth his salt first hides the chips. i.e. before sticking your cock in a bird it is generally wise to stick a couple of fingers in there to assess the risk of disease/transvestite/mousetraps.
This act can be conveniently passed off as "foreplay".
This act can be conveniently passed off as "foreplay".
A: Dude I saw you getting it on with Stacey last night, how'd you make out?
B: Gutted, she'd only let me finger her.
A: Hid the chips?* Here let me smell.
*past participle of "hide the chips"
B: Gutted, she'd only let me finger her.
A: Hid the chips?* Here let me smell.
*past participle of "hide the chips"
by Mr. Cardboard June 25, 2011