Definitions by Mr Ben

tornado 

A sudden and inexplicable increase in customers, causing massive amounts of damage and devastation. Then, just as strangely as it appears, the whole thing blows over and the place is empty and now wrecked.

"We've just had a bit of a tornado in here, Boss."

tornado by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

Hadji 

In soccer: to punt the ball as hard as you can towards an open and easy goal, only to find your strike sailing over the crossbar by a country mile and ending up forty-one rows behind the goal. The higher the ball goes, the louder one should exclaim.

"HADJI!" - Mr Ben, upon witnessing David Beckham's penalty against Portugal during Euro 2004.

Hadji by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

chunk monster 

An individual who is somewhat large in size, due to a perceived excess of food and/or alcohol consumption. An insult.

"Look out, here comes the chunk monster!"

chunk monster by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

machoegotist

One who suffers from the terrible afflication known as machoegotism. Can also be used as an insult, meaning one who is a twat.

"That Paul is a complete machoegotist!"

machoegotist by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

sluce

That horrible oil that gathers around the edge of a dinner plate whilst eating badly-cooked or cheap canteen food. Unnaturally red or yellow in colour and about as good for your health as a heart attack.

"Hey chef! What's all this sluce doing here?"

sluce by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

machoegotism 

A sadly incurable condition, usually occuring in young men. The sufferer of machoegotism strikes up an extraordinary relationship with himself (possibly due to excess masturbation) that results in the sufferer falling in love with themselves. They are incapable of replicating genuine feelings for others, though they attempt to hide their emotional vacuum by imitating feelings or responses.

Treatments are being developed as you read this but scientists believe a cure is some way off. For now, temporary relief may be gaining by a sniff knee to the happy sacks or by telling them, in a way that is impossible to not understand, to fuck off.

"That guy defintely suffers from machoegotism. He displays all the symptons."

machoegotism by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

screaming viking 

1. A name given to a non-existent cocktail.

2. A fat girl having an orgasm.

"I think I'll have a screaming viking too!"

screaming viking by Mr Ben February 7, 2005