Monkey's Dad's definitions

XYZnophobia

Fear of a broad array of foreigners.

Today he was blaming the Chinese for the 'foreign virus', yesterday, the Mexicans for allowing the Central Americans to get anywhere near our border, and whom he might fear tomorrow was anyone's guess. The president actually seemed proud of his XYZnophobia, blind to the leveling properties of the pandemic, and the lesson it offered, that we are all made of the same stuff.

by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020

Permababy

A creature, human or otherwise, who retains the characteristics of an infant, no matter how long they have lived.

Yes, we know she looks like a puppy, but she's thirteen - a Permababy.

by Monkey's Dad December 23, 2019

woemanizer

A man who tries to overcome his sorrow and grief with an unending string of women.

Everyone judged him for the number of women who came into and out of his life. It felt to be the only way he could banish his unremitting woe, from losses and pain he could never share. He was a woemanizer, and he alone understood why.

by Monkey's Dad October 3, 2021

vaccillation

Uncertainty about the value and wisdom of getting a vaccination.

Most people she knew were getting it, but she'd heard one story of a child being paralyzed for life, and she was in a state of vaccillation about whether to allow the immunization for her daughter.

by Monkey's Dad April 11, 2020

from my cold, dead heart

Proposed National Rifle Association slogan.

Faced with the staggering number of American school children and other innocent victims killed by unstable men with military-style assault rifles, reassured yet again that background checks and licensing would not in any way threaten his right to gun ownership, that no one proposed to take away his firearms, he planted his feet, growling his modified NRA non-sequitur, "I'll give up my gun when they pry it from my cold, dead heart."

by Monkey's Dad April 1, 2021

Minotaurectomy

Procedure to remove a man's bullheaded virility, performed by a female, using a few choice words.

Seeing him snort and paw the ground, while angling his horns in her direction, she was planning tonight's minotaurectomy, which would preferably be non-surgical, but hey.

by Monkey's Dad January 5, 2020

significan't other

Your partner in an isolationship. The lover you are prevented from being with, due to stay-at-home orders during the coronaviral lockdown

She longed for his embrace, but for now he was her significan't other, their desire for each other intensified because of enforced solitude.

by Monkey's Dad April 9, 2020