Monkey's Dad's definitions

isolution

Extreme segregation and distancing between people, as a means of fighting an uncontrolled epidemic.

Forced to work from home, shut in his tiny apartment all day, forbidden to go out at night, the isolution felt crippling.

by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020

Pharmageddon

Massive loss and suffering, resulting from potential failure to develop a vaccine against Covid-19.

As the hopes of the world were focused on Big Pharma, the dates kept getting pushed back - probably October, maybe by the end of the year, sometime in 2022, well, the virus keeps mutating, so... - the number of infections and deaths mounted, and it came to be seen as Pharmageddon.

by Monkey's Dad July 6, 2020

friend or faux?

Uncertainty about the genuineness of someone's affections.

She is always inviting me to lunch, texting, bringing small gifts, but there is something in her eyes which makes me wonder - is she friend or faux?

by Monkey's Dad October 6, 2020

hypoinsomnichondriac

A person who lies awake worrying about all the maladies, disorders and syndromes they may have, present and future.

The messages flooded in at bedtime, from her brother, her cousin - who was a doctor, mind you - studies and statistics forwarded by so many well-intentioned friends, warning of sicknesses which awaited her, if she didn't already have symptoms, which she suddenly realized she probably did have, recommendations for pills, and more pills, changes in diet, which, omg, she vowed to try, promising another sleepless night as a hypoinsomnichondriac.

by Monkey's Dad April 19, 2020

party of one

The hot New York dinner reservation, during the coronaviral epidemic.

"Jack, party of one, your table is ready," Jack said quietly, as he sat down in his kitchen, prepared to enjoy his own company, and his justly famous mac'n'cheese.

by Monkey's Dad April 10, 2020

hand insanitizer

The suggestion that you need to wash your hands, and wash them again, specifically with a product that no longer exists, until you become insane with anxiety.

She had scrubbed and scoured her fingers and palms until they were raw, her bottles had all been emptied, and she was on the edge of crazy, needing to find more hand insanitizer.

by Monkey's Dad March 21, 2020

Whoa!lmart

The American nexus of strange Covid-related behavior.

People assaulting each other over mask wearing. Spitting in the faces of cashiers. A man approaching shoppers, giving them an aggressive hug and announcing "Now you have Covid". All that and more can be seen at your local Whoa!lmart.

by Monkey's Dad August 23, 2020