Monkey's Dad's definitions

fie

"feeling it everywhere" - a gently intimate way of letting someone know they have gotten you aroused.

'missing your tongue, counting the minutes' she texted him.
He replied, 'fie', and he was.

by Monkey's Dad November 5, 2022

Silent Spring

The title of a non-fiction account, published in 1962, of the environmental damage caused by pesticides, written by Rachel Carson, with great foresight.

"Silent Spring" carried eerie echoes, he thought, seeing the trees outside his window beginning to flower, the earth returning to life in a largely silenced human world. Spring of 2020 would be a season of great and unsettling quietude.

by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020

I can't do two things at once

A fact known to all men and universally discredited by women.

"The dog needs to go out, right away" she said, as he was balancing on the top of rung the ladder, not only changing the bulb but cradling the fragile glass globe. "And please take the towels out of the dryer, before they start to smell moldy."

"I can't do two things at once" he replied, but she could not hear him, polishing her nails, talking to her mother on the phone and finalizing the Etsy order for Kleenex box holders, reminding him... "I need you to tell me which of these patterns you prefer".

by Monkey's Dad August 30, 2023

postemptive

After the fact. A measure taken in response to something which has already happened. Shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped. The opposite of preemptive.

"Would it seem postemptive if I wrote a letter of resignation?"
"They fired you last week."
"Yeah, well..."

by Monkey's Dad March 11, 2020

psygh

A long, deep, audible breath which sounds like a sigh but has a pathological source.

For the tenth time in two minutes she heard him psygh, and realized that confinement was making him crazy.

by Monkey's Dad April 9, 2020

personal disappearance

The care we take with how we look, when there is no one to see us.

Saturday night in a city under lockdown, another date with her laptop. She brushed her hair and put on makeup, knowing that for the foreseeable future, she would be the only one to take pleasure in her personal disappearance.

by Monkey's Dad March 18, 2020

Newsmocks

A nickname for Newsmax, spoken quietly by some of the network's performers, paid to broadcast the far-right party line, whether they believe it or not.

"Next up on Newsmocks", intoned the host in his dressing room, "security camera proof of Fauci in the Wuhan lab. Don't go away."

by Monkey's Dad August 3, 2021