Monkey's Dad's definitions

No-It-All

A person whose reflex is to refuse, dispute, and oppose everything.

No, she did not want any chocolate, no, she did not need any more shoes, no, she did not have time to take a trip, and she already had three pale pink sweaters, so thank you but no. He saw she was a total no-it-all. And the day he stopped offering would be the day she'd change her tune and accuse him of being a know-it-all.

by Monkey's Dad April 19, 2020

The Bridge

An eloquent dream symbol, its crossing an achievement that long felt impossible. "Last night, I dreamed I walked across the bridge", she told him, "all by myself, all the way to the other side of the river."

"I dreamed I walked across the bridge."

by Monkey's Dad January 15, 2023

The New New York

An almost unrecognizable city, silent and still, filled with people yet seemingly abandoned.

From her balcony she looked down at the bizarrely empty streets of the New New York.

by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2020

Call me Phishmail

The opening line of a disarmingly transparent effort to get your SSN, passwords and credit card number.

Never read Moby Dick? Then call me Phishmail. Impress your friends 'cause absolutely free I'll give you my lightning tutorial on Melville's massive classic. Just click here.

by Monkey's Dad January 19, 2020

Neoanderthal

A currently-living, proudly primitive person. A surprisingly vivid embodiment of attitudes and aptitudes thought to be long-extinct.

No need to ask who he's voting for, he's a card-carrying, open-carrying Neoanderthal.

by Monkey's Dad September 18, 2019

the city that never stirs

New York in the grip of the pandemic

Silent and empty, The City That Never Sleeps had swiftly become The City That Never Stirs.

by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020

catch-and-kill

To buy the rights, or otherwise pay, to prevent a news story from being published. The title of Ronan Farrow's new book on the subject.

American Media Inc., allegedly engaged in catch-and-kill to control negative stories about Donald Trump's involvement with porn star Stormy Daniels. Similarly, Republican members of The Bohemian Grove paid to prevent release of the 1981 film "Star Spangled Boner" starring John Holmes as Ronald Reagan.

by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020