Monkey's Dad's definitions
I can't wait for you to grow up
An acronym, conveying that the affectionate sender has long ago abandoned any hope that the recipient will ever grow up.
An acronym, conveying that the affectionate sender has long ago abandoned any hope that the recipient will ever grow up.
Again, her birthday, and again... turning twelve. What could he say? With steady fingers he texted "icwfytgu", secure in their shared understanding that she would remain twelve for the coming year, and for those to follow.
by Monkey's Dad June 22, 2021
Get the icwfytgu mug.A stunningly inappropriate and thoughtless question often blurted toward a handicapped person, the only proper answer to which is "Don't ask".
"What happened to you?" asked the seemingly civilized man of the woman who was struggling mightily to take each halting step. Yet she needed no reminder of how hard it was to move, or of how many years she had been in pain. She was under no obligation to answer the moronic stranger, who in any event seemed to want no answer and quickly began prattling about his skiing accident, years ago, which he believed would be fascinating to a woman with a permanent handicap, but, please... don't ask.
by Monkey's Dad April 24, 2023
Get the What happened to you? mug.Anthem for our country, our democracy, for Covid victims and victims of police brutality, all gasping for air.
"Barely Breathing" was a 1996 hit song from singer-songwriter Duncan Sheik, now to be sung in protest, shouted in the streets, whispered at the bedsides of the dying.
"Barely Breathing" was a 1996 hit song from singer-songwriter Duncan Sheik, now to be sung in protest, shouted in the streets, whispered at the bedsides of the dying.
by Monkey's Dad July 13, 2020
Get the Barely Breathing mug.Awakening from a dream, the phrase "Fries with that?" kept playing in his head, like a guitar hook. It must have meant something, long ago, and perhaps it would come to him.
by Monkey's Dad April 20, 2020
Get the Fries with that? mug.The inverse of dementia. A state of mental incline rather than decline. Having not only all one's marbles but too many.
He could remember every almost word he had ever read, could recount conversations verbatim from several decades earlier, knew the names of minor characters, and the actors who had played them, in movies he had never seen. He could remember the name of a person he had met in passing many years ago, while some of his contemporaries searched for the names of their nearest and dearest. The diagnosis was direct: He was suffering from early onset mentia.
by Monkey's Dad July 3, 2023
Get the mentia mug.Deriving gratification, sexual or otherwise, from exposing one's naked facial orifices, flirting with the risk to self and others of suffering, pain and death. Refusing to wear a mask in public, during the COVID-19 pandemic. Sadism and Maskochism combined.
Knowing he might be infecting other people, or that he might get infected, he strode barefaced into the crowd, feeling the thrill of public nakedness, thrilled by his sadomaskochism.
by Monkey's Dad June 12, 2020
Get the Sadomaskochism mug.A strangely-nonexistent German word meaning "Taking pleasure in another person's success", the theoretical opposite of 'schadenfreude' - a word which has long existed in German and has migrated into English, meaning "Taking pleasure in another person's misery and suffering ".
Hearing that his colleague had won the Nobel, Schmidt was overcome with erfolgfreude and immediately called to offer his profound and heartfelt admiration.
by Monkey's Dad February 28, 2020
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