Monkey's Dad's definitions

cat's cradle

The delusional gesture of separating the hands, bringing them together again, manipulating yarn, which Donald Trump continually plays while speaking. A game beloved of little girls everywhere.

Debating Biden, Trump revealed his inner life by continually playing cat's cradle.

by Monkey's Dad October 23, 2020

cyberoticism

An aura of sexuality conveyed through the Internet. Sexually arousing online communication.

They were both working from home, like everyone, but he looked forward to her joining his Zoom meetings. She was clearly on her bed, not wearing much, and every time she spoke there was a jolt of cyberoticism, which, in isolation, he so deeply craved.

by Monkey's Dad April 4, 2020

shelter-in-place-ionship

A strenuous test of a couple's compatibility.

Forbidden to leave the house, they had shared every meal, slept, worked, read, watched videos and exercised side-by-side, hour after hour, every night and day for a very long time, and yet they were actually having a good time. She felt that if they survived this shelter-in-place-ionship they could survive anything.

by Monkey's Dad March 27, 2020

Psychitis

A variant of psychosis. An episode of psychic inflammation. A brief if intense appearance of being totally off-the-wall psychotic.

His face reddened, his eyes and neck tendons bulging, he screamed into her astonished face, "Don't call me psychotic! Because that makes me crazy. I'm just psychitic! It's psychitis! Look it up in Urban Dictionary!"

by Monkey's Dad September 23, 2022

Remembership Drive

The futile urge to recall the "toll-free" number - is there another kind anymore? - which the announcers manning the membership drive on Public Radio have repeated several dozen times in the past few seconds and which, as a result, refuses to be recalled.

Let's see... 888... something something... why do I have such low remembership drive for that number, even though it is toll-free?

by Monkey's Dad September 11, 2019

femoji

An emoji used primarily or exclusively by women or girls, ie; any emoji.

She ends every sentence, sometimes every phrase, with, like, a femoji.

by Monkey's Dad April 18, 2020

meat loafers

What a devout vegan sees when she spots your leather shoes.

She had fallen for his whole 'I'm so kind to animals' thing. On their first date, happily sharing Impossible Burgers with him, she dropped her fork. At floor level, she saw his feet. "Hypocrite!" she screamed. Are those vegan leather? No! You are wearing meat loafers!" She grabbed her phone, unfriended him, and stalked off. Needing some comfort food, he signaled the waiter for a bacon cheeseburger.

by Monkey's Dad March 6, 2020