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Monkey's Dad's definitions

Like

By the year 2050, the sole remaining word in spoken English - a language once said to comprise 171,476 words, in a mode of communication once ubiquitous, then common, then, like, whatever. It was deemed, like, for real? and finally supplanted by enthusiastically written English, ie: texted abbreviations and emojis.
He was, like, 2050? and I'm like, what? and he went, like, the, like, single, like, remaining word in, like, whoa, and I'm, like, whatever
by Monkey's Dad October 13, 2019
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formal sex

The opposite of casual sex.

"Save-the-Date" cards are sent, followed by printed invitations requiring an RSVP. There is an unspoken dress and undress code. Invitees are expected to be well-mannered, witty, and clean. Afterwards, a small note of appreciation is well received.
An evening of formal sex was always something to look forward to, a reason to go shopping in the preceding weeks, to attend to hair, nails, makeup. And in the following days, to lightly mention in passing, a source of envy amongst friends.
by Monkey's Dad January 10, 2022
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Doctor Donothing

Doctor Dolittle's more eccentric office-mate. A person so fully connected to the animals that he finds humans strangely exotic.
"Where's Doctor Donothing?"
"Outside, where he's been since four AM, feeding the deer, the squirrels and chipmunks, the birds and the dogs. When I try to talk to him, he looks at me like I belong in an aquarium."
by Monkey's Dad October 24, 2020
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epidemonology

The study of who and what gets blamed for an epidemic.
Whether it was the complacent president, a de-funded response system, or simply "Patient Zero" who got off the plane from Beijing, coughing, epidemonology would inevitably follow.
by Monkey's Dad March 11, 2020
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Sortaday and Someday

The days of the weekend during Covid, when time is disordered.
Sorry, not totally sure but I think I'm busy Sortaday and Someday, taking the kids shopping for 'school clothes'. ... The mall?? You're kidding, right? eBay.
by Monkey's Dad August 26, 2020
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the city that never stirs

Silent and empty, The City That Never Sleeps had swiftly become The City That Never Stirs.
by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020
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catch-and-kill

To buy the rights, or otherwise pay, to prevent a news story from being published. The title of Ronan Farrow's new book on the subject.
American Media Inc., allegedly engaged in catch-and-kill to control negative stories about Donald Trump's involvement with porn star Stormy Daniels. Similarly, Republican members of The Bohemian Grove paid to prevent release of the 1981 film "Star Spangled Boner" starring John Holmes as Ronald Reagan.
by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020
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