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Monkey's Dad's definitions

The New New York

An almost unrecognizable city, silent and still, filled with people yet seemingly abandoned.
From her balcony she looked down at the bizarrely empty streets of the New New York.
by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2020
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Call me Phishmail

The opening line of a disarmingly transparent effort to get your SSN, passwords and credit card number.
Never read Moby Dick? Then call me Phishmail. Impress your friends 'cause absolutely free I'll give you my lightning tutorial on Melville's massive classic. Just click here.
by Monkey's Dad January 19, 2020
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Sortaday and Someday

The days of the weekend during Covid, when time is disordered.
Sorry, not totally sure but I think I'm busy Sortaday and Someday, taking the kids shopping for 'school clothes'. ... The mall?? You're kidding, right? eBay.
by Monkey's Dad August 26, 2020
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Doctor Donothing

Doctor Dolittle's more eccentric office-mate. A person so fully connected to the animals that he finds humans strangely exotic.
"Where's Doctor Donothing?"
"Outside, where he's been since four AM, feeding the deer, the squirrels and chipmunks, the birds and the dogs. When I try to talk to him, he looks at me like I belong in an aquarium."
by Monkey's Dad October 24, 2020
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formal sex

The opposite of casual sex.

"Save-the-Date" cards are sent, followed by printed invitations requiring an RSVP. There is an unspoken dress and undress code. Invitees are expected to be well-mannered, witty, and clean. Afterwards, a small note of appreciation is well received.
An evening of formal sex was always something to look forward to, a reason to go shopping in the preceding weeks, to attend to hair, nails, makeup. And in the following days, to lightly mention in passing, a source of envy amongst friends.
by Monkey's Dad January 10, 2022
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pompossified

A state in which a person is so pompous they become irreversibly rigid.
Stepping out of her limo with her nose in the air and her mink wrapped tightly around her shoulders, she looked thoroughly pompossified.
by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020
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comforting fiction

An untruth we tell ourselves, or tell others, to keep from having to face facts, and to ease us through hard times.
Just wash your hands and you'll be fine, warm weather will make it disappear, only old people can die from it... one comforting fiction after another could not disguise the truth that we were all in for a long, painful journey.
by Monkey's Dad April 15, 2020
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