Monkey's Dad's definitions

A.I.2 Artificial Ignorance

The black sheep sibling of Artificial Intelligence, promiscuously spreading misinformation and calumny which can never be corrected, denied or retrieved, set in digital stone.

Although Jack was happily attached and leading a blameless life, he awakened one morning to the news that he was on Tinder, listed with a gender identity and sexual preference he had never actually heard of, was the target of several concurrently pending lawsuits, had been arrested for bestiality at the age of twelve, failed in his fifth attempt at getting a GED, declared bankruptcy twice, and, perhaps the greatest insult, had appended to his profile an unflattering photo of someone else with his exact name. All of this was out there forever. Forever, and it was sure to spread. There was no one to complain to. Nobody. Welcome to the age of A.I.2 Artificial Ignorance.

by Monkey's Dad September 12, 2023

Satan Nicholas

Saint Nicholas' sinister colleague, whose task is to deliver appropriate gifts to the less-than-good girls and boys on Christmas eve.

He awakened to the sound of a Harley landing on the roof - right on time - and man, had he prepared his list in hopes of a visit from Satan Nicholas. In an hour he'd run downstairs and find a Chucky doll, gift certificates to Tattoos-R-Us, the Vape store, and Murder-and-Mayhem Video Games. It pays to be bad, he mused. And next year he'd be worse.

by Monkey's Dad December 5, 2023

Star Spangled Boner

The never-released 1981 porn flick starring John Holmes as President Ronald Reagan, screened privately every Fourth of July for a handful of top-tier Republicans at The Bohemian Grove, their tightly-guarded summer enclave in the Northern California Redwoods.

He'd figured it was an urban legend, but there it was, July 4th in the Grove's outdoor amphitheater, "Star Spangled Boner".

by Monkey's Dad March 25, 2020

gokd

OK, verging on good.

"How are you?" she asked.
"Ok" he replied.
"Good, or just ok?"
"Gokd".

by Monkey's Dad August 21, 2021

Blogjam

Intellectual immobilization from following too many influencers with too much to say.

He awoke to another early-morning blogjam, so much verbiage, so little time.

by Monkey's Dad November 25, 2019

social uneasing

Distress created by the collective suicide of premature reopening.

Many experienced social uneasing at the increased death toll that would surely result, as restrictions were lifted and people packed the parks and beaches.

by Monkey's Dad May 5, 2020

analyze, assess, address

The necessary steps toward curing a condition accepted by the medical profession as irreversible.

Her doctors, associated practitioners, family and friends had so easily given up on her, accepting that she would have a lifetime of struggle and pain. He had other ideas, and began to analyze, assess, address the issues of her condition, constantly thinking, observing, trying. Day by day she improved, showing astonishing progress and they would take it all the way.

by Monkey's Dad June 23, 2023