Monkey's Dad's definitions
Those who understand that the words "Please wear a mask" do not mean: 1) carry it in your hand, 2) wear it around your neck or 3) wear it covering your chin but not your mouth and nose.
YOU! ... Yes, you, coming within inches of me, breathing in my face, with YOUR MASK SECURED AROUND YOUR ELBOW! please respect my right to live even if you don't care about your own, because Smart Lives Matter.
by Monkey's Dad September 14, 2020
Get the Smart Lives Matter mug.Mozombieque is located on the coast of Africa, bordered by Zombia to the northwest and by Zombabwe on the west, all three countries populated by the living dead.
by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020
Get the Mozombieque mug.In the United States, 332 million people and an even greater number of firearms openly compete . On a daily basis, the firearms succeed in eliminating some of the human population. Humans attempting to reduce the number of firearms always fail.
by Monkey's Dad October 27, 2023
Get the More Guns Than People mug.In "Cinderella", a ridiculous mis-translation from the French. The original story, handed down orally, centered around "Vair" slippers, vair being squirrel fur. But "vair" sounds like "verre", the French word for glass, and so it continued. Fur slippers make perfect sense. But glass??
Cinderella felt sorry for the handsome prince, kneeling before her. She wondered what kind of idiot expected her to take two steps in glass slippers, when the beloved pair she had lost were made of fur. "I mean, glass shoes? Really?"
by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020
Get the Glass slippers mug.by Monkey's Dad May 19, 2020
Get the it'll wait mug.The futile urge to recall the "toll-free" number - is there another kind anymore? - which the announcers manning the membership drive on Public Radio have repeated several dozen times in the past few seconds and which, as a result, refuses to be recalled.
Let's see... 888... something something... why do I have such low remembership drive for that number, even though it is toll-free?
by Monkey's Dad September 11, 2019
Get the Remembership Drive mug.A novel condition in which the sufferer looks upon approaching human beings as threats, just for breathing, and wants them to burn in hell.
What was this moron, this utter fool, coming toward her with his mouth covered and his fucking nostrils exposed?! He was human scum, a killer, and the sight of him filled her with revulsion. At one time she might have found him attractive. But now? Now she wanted to smash him, hard, but that would entail proximity, the last thing she'd ever want to share with another person. She knew she'd contracted The New Misanthropy, but it was a damn sight better than Covid.
by Monkey's Dad February 10, 2021
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