Monkey's Dad's definitions

Suckerberg Mark

A person targeted by Facebook, who clicks on, answers and falls into every trap.

Clarence fit their profile, answering every bit of bait - the name of his first pet, where he'd met his partner, his favorite color. It was so much fun! Oreos! My first car? A Honda Civic! He was a permanent resident of Suckerberg, the perfect Suckerberg Mark. 'Wait wait, they're asking the last four digits of my SSN in reverse order! Only one in ten can do it! I'm a genius.'

by Monkey's Dad October 5, 2021

formerly-known-as

Your X - or ex - with a nod to the convolutions of Twitter.

"Check out the babe."
"No need. ... She's my formerly-known-as"
"Sorry."

by Monkey's Dad November 2, 2023

Hypocratic Right

In a Hypocractic form of government, the inalienable right to say one thing and do another, as exemplified by Senator Lindsey Graham.

'"Use my words against me" doesn't mean "hold me accountable"', said Graham. "As a Republican, I am exercising my Hypocratic Right to say and do anything I want to."

by Monkey's Dad September 22, 2020

social unrest

Disorder created by injustice, inequality and lack of accountability for the suffering of the people. A negative for which no positive - 'social rest' - exists.

The nightly protests and curfews were an outward sign of the social unrest which had been bubbling for years, exacerbated by surging unemployment, poverty and uncontrolled disease.

by Monkey's Dad June 3, 2020

Don't Ask

A thought which often escapes idiots staring at a stranger struggling to walk. "What happened to you?" they say, before launching into the saga of their torn knee ligament, oblivious to the possibility that their prey has been disabled for decades and doesn't wish to answer appallingly inappropriate questions, nor needs your brilliant advice.

Don't ask, she thought. Don't fucking ask.

by Monkey's Dad April 16, 2023

GFF

A feminine refinement of BFF, meaning GirlFriends Forever.

"Lauren and me have known each other since we were, like, little, and we are, like, GFF."

by Monkey's Dad August 22, 2021

hystereophonic

State-of-the-art sound quality of conservative talk radio.

She closed her eyes to get the full hystereophonic effect of Rush Limbaugh, fuming that Black Lives Matter is a 'hate symbol', that wearing masks is a liberal conspiracy to rig the election, that the very stable genius was sent by God.

by Monkey's Dad July 2, 2020