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Monkey's Dad's definitions

formal sex

The opposite of casual sex.

"Save-the-Date" cards are sent, followed by printed invitations requiring an RSVP. There is an unspoken dress and undress code. Invitees are expected to be well-mannered, witty, and clean. Afterwards, a small note of appreciation is well received.
An evening of formal sex was always something to look forward to, a reason to go shopping in the preceding weeks, to attend to hair, nails, makeup. And in the following days, to lightly mention in passing, a source of envy amongst friends.
by Monkey's Dad January 10, 2022
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Doctor Donothing

Doctor Dolittle's more eccentric office-mate. A person so fully connected to the animals that he finds humans strangely exotic.
"Where's Doctor Donothing?"
"Outside, where he's been since four AM, feeding the deer, the squirrels and chipmunks, the birds and the dogs. When I try to talk to him, he looks at me like I belong in an aquarium."
by Monkey's Dad October 24, 2020
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Maskochism

Deriving gratification, sexual or otherwise, from flirting with death by refusing to wear a mask in public, during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Knowing he might get infected, he strode barefaced into the crowd, enjoying his maskochism.
by Monkey's Dad June 11, 2020
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Like

By the year 2050, the sole remaining word in spoken English - a language once said to comprise 171,476 words, in a mode of communication once ubiquitous, then common, then, like, whatever. It was deemed, like, for real? and finally supplanted by enthusiastically written English, ie: texted abbreviations and emojis.
He was, like, 2050? and I'm like, what? and he went, like, the, like, single, like, remaining word in, like, whoa, and I'm, like, whatever
by Monkey's Dad October 13, 2019
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Whensday?

Some day of the week or other, during Covid, when time is disordered.
by Monkey's Dad August 26, 2020
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Sortaday and Someday

The days of the weekend during Covid, when time is disordered.
Sorry, not totally sure but I think I'm busy Sortaday and Someday, taking the kids shopping for 'school clothes'. ... The mall?? You're kidding, right? eBay.
by Monkey's Dad August 26, 2020
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the city that never stirs

Silent and empty, The City That Never Sleeps had swiftly become The City That Never Stirs.
by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020
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